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[magichans]

Bruh if you don't get the f-...

Can I assume you're not American? Because Americans "poor shame" all the time. It's basically how our economy works. You need to hustle basically because it's not enough to be doing financially "decent" , you need to excel and do amazingly. Rap and pop music shame you for being poor. The internet is full of people mocking others for being a "broke bitch" . Calling someone broke is the ultimate comeback. Our obsession with being rich is because we don't want to be poor, because being poor is disgusting.

I mean, even in relation to this thread. Countless people would say you're not fit for a relationship if you're poor. "You bring nothing to the table" so you shouldn't even be thinking about a relationship with someone else.

And the way the Republican party treats poor people is with such disdain it's infuriating. So no, it seems perfectly socially acceptable to mock the poor.

I am American. I think that's an oversimplification. Praising riches isn't the same thing as poor shaming. It isn't that being poor "is disgusting" it's more that being rich is so "awesome" (in their heads).

I'm not saying poor shaming doesn't exist (it definitely does), just that it's probably to a less overt extent than something ubiquitous like virgin shaming.

All I'm saying is, try ragging on one of your friends in public for being poor, as opposed to a virgin, and see what happens to you. Or if you want the anonymity of the internet, post a thread somewhere saying you have a friend who's a virgin and you're ashamed of him. Then post a thread elsewhere saying you have a friend who's poor and you're ashamed of him, and just see what happens with the responses you get.

 

[Gravy Boat]

I think we put too much pressure on people to have sex. All this 'I need to be ready and do it with someone really special stuff' is weird to me because sex really isn't that big a deal. Have sex or don't, that's up to you, but don't try and build it up as this super important thing that you need to prepare for and spend years of your life making sure you've picked the right person to finally do it with.

 

[Mediking]

Man, I just realized this thread existed.

There's actually alot I wanna say but I don't even know where to begin.

 

[Regiruler]

How ironic that a word denoting purity has become derogatory.

 

[MontyBrown]

I don't think there's anything wrong with people choosing not to have sex.

But most people who don't have sex don't do it out of choice - they're usually weird, anti-social people who aren't exactly leading the most enviable of lives. The one virgin I know in his 30s is just... well...

Just like having friends, a job and so on is a sign you are a fully functioning adult, so is being sexually active.

 

[1upsuper]

I don't think there's anything wrong with people choosing not to have sex.

But most people who don't have sex don't do it out of choice - they're usually weird, anti-social people who aren't exactly leading the most enviable of lives. The one virgin I know in his 30s is just... well...

Just like having friends, a job and so on is a sign you are a fully functioning adult, so is being sexually active.

Hmm.

 

[JimmyRustler]

I don't think there's anything wrong with people choosing not to have sex.

But most people who don't have sex don't do it out of choice - they're usually weird, anti-social people who aren't exactly leading the most enviable of lives. The one virgin I know in his 30s is just... well...

Gotta love this two paragraphs that basically contradict each other... *ugh*

 

[Moose Biscuits]

If you don't want even your close friends to know you're a virgin, make up a convincing sex story. You know how you hear your close friends exchanging sex stories and funny plunders etc.? If you're the one who never has a story to tell, they catch on. Come up with a sex story that sounds plausible, something normal, and maybe make it like you did something embarassing in it and didn't really want to tell about it before. Make it be with a random fictional person so they can't try to verify it from someone.

Spoiler

bags of sand

 

[LyleLanley]

If you're a virgin I wouldn't bother coming up with a convincing sounding fake sex story, it's going to be immediately obvious that you're lying and it's just going to be even more awkward for everyone involved.

 

[Darksol]

I lost it at 16 and can't imagine a life where I never did. That being said, as long as people are happy with who they are that's all that matters.

 

[Zaru]

Gotta love this two paragraphs that basically contradict each other... *ugh*

You can of course disagree with his assessment of involuntary virgins, but where's the contradiction?

 

[Always-honest]

Well, people are dumb. Who gives a fuck about someone else being a virgin or not?

 

[Chuckie]

Gotta love this two paragraphs that basically contradict each other... *ugh*

They don't

Spoiler

bags of sand

Lol.

Making up sex stories will probably not end well.

 

[Sakura]

I don't think I've ever seen virgin shaming from someone outside of high school. Do adults do this?

Yes. There is some guy at work around 25 who is a virgin and the other guys frequently make fun of him for it.
Nobody ever seems to suspect I am though.

 

[Malvolio]

Nobody cares more than the virgin. Using the word as an insult is an easy attack on insecurities. It's only effective if you hand them that power.

 

[MontyBrown]

Gotta love this two paragraphs that basically contradict each other... *ugh*

What contradiction? There are some attractive, 'normal' people who choose not to have sex for whatever reason.

But, in my experience, most virgins aren't virgins out of choice.

 

[wandering]

Nobody cares more than the virgin. Using the word as an insult is an easy attack on insecurities. It's only effective if you hand them that power.

This is almost as dumb as when applied to racial slurs.

 

[Seraph_Nicholas]

It's a pretty huge part of the human experience. If you choose to sit that out, for whatever reason, alright, but don't be surprised when the tribal creatures with millions of years of evolution reinforcing sex as the most important part of life give you an occasional side-eye over it.

Not that sex should be that important, it just is. Evolutionary forces and all.

 

[thetrin]

Whenever you tell anyone the first question that follows is always "why." It's never really ever felt like one singular reason.

It's a weird question to ask. It's also insulting, because that comes from a place of "There must be a reason, because there's no way things just shook out like that. I cannot even comprehend that happening by chance."

 

[magichans]

What contradiction? There are some attractive, 'normal' people who choose not to have sex for whatever reason.

But, in my experience, most virgins aren't virgins out of choice.

I think he's talking about the fact you're saying "in my experience" but you just admitted your experience extends to knowing a single guy.

 

[-shadow-]

The reactions I get are mixed, some are fascinated that at 26 I'm somehow still a virgin because they don't understand how since they think I'm such a likeable guy. And other just make it a cheap one two punch and move on with the subject. It's usually, but not always, the ones who didn't expect it who want to know more.

It doesn't help that the past seven years I've been battling a combination of my daily headaches, constant new medications, depressions and that something happened once between me and, someone who I thought I could trust which makes it hard for me personally. So it's been a combination of both not really having a chance due to my head being focussed on anything but relationships, and just pure good old fear of not being able to trust people on such a deep level. There was one time that my best of friends asked me something relating to it (well asked about more than just getting a worded awnser), and I was just so scared shitless, that I emotionally just completely collapsed. I couldn't handle it because of what once happened and was sobbing for the rest of the night. The guy had to basically hold me for the rest of the night because I couldn't calm down.

So yeah...

 

[Always-honest]

It's a pretty huge part of the human experience. If you choose to sit that out, for whatever reason, alright, but don't be surprised when the tribal creatures with millions of years of evolution reinforcing sex as the most important part of life give you an occasional side-eye over it.

Not that sex should be that important, it just is. Evolutionary forces and all.

Yeah some don't feel those evolutionary forces as strong as others. Or don't want to give in.
So? We all have to run around like fuck-monkies all day? Well most of us do, haha.
It's embarrassing to witness sometimes. The oh so obvious sexual urge in the oh so seemingly innocent sexual-unrelated things we do. The sexual desperation of our behavior makes me sick sometimes.

You SHOULD be surprised to be judged by others. They should mind their own fucking business and be more openminded..

Having said that: i personally love sex and i'm glad i started when i was young.
Still, i couldn't care less about people who choose not to.

 

[LyleLanley]

It's a weird question to ask. It's also insulting, because that comes from a place of "There must be a reason, because there's no way things just shook out like that. I cannot even comprehend that happening by chance."

People stay virgins late into adulthood by chance?

 

[MontyBrown]

I think he's talking about the fact you're saying "in my experience" but you just admitted your experience extends to knowing a single guy.

No I know one guy who is in his 30s which is obviously the most extreme example. I know quite a few.

 

[NewGame]

 

[Malvolio]

This is almost as dumb as when applied to racial slurs.

What a terrible comparison.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

People stay virgins late into adulthood by chance?

Virgins aren't fuccboius.

 

[Fall Into The GAF]

It's nothing new. There's always going to be that one turd in the punchbowl who wants to get under your skin and interrogate you of your life choices. I should be used to it, but to be honest you can only take so much "hows" or "whys" before you want them to eat their own teeth. Remember, if it isn't your sex life or lack thereof, it'll be about how you look, your race, etc. Some people are just incapable of keeping their mouths shut and want to provoke in some capacity.

 

[doby]

What contradiction? There are some attractive, 'normal' people who choose not to have sex for whatever reason.

But, in my experience, most virgins aren't virgins out of choice.

I think it stems more from self esteem issues and shying away from such advances rather than being so hideous that no 'normal' person would want to go near them. It's not always black and white.

 

[LyleLanley]

Virgins aren't fuccboius.

I have no idea what this means.

 

[wandering]

What a terrible comparison.

“It’s only effective if you hand them that power”

Yeah, totally doesn’t resemble rhetoric around slurs at all.

Here’s a thought: how about we discourage shaming people for attributes that have no bearing on their character instead of putting the onus on individuals to magically not be affected by being degraded.

 

[Turin]

Even just saying your not that into sex after having had experience gets you the side eye. Some people just don't want to hear it. Asserting that sex isn't the end all be all seems to make them uncomfortable.

Sex is power.

If you don't have sex you don't have power.

If you don't have power you are weak.

If you've never won a fight, you're a bitch.

/s

 

[Malvolio]

“It’s only effective if you hand them that power”

Yeah, totally doesn’t resemble rhetoric around slurs at all.

You can choose not to discuss your sex life, can you say the same about race?

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I have no idea what this means.

I didn't have any sexual contact until my late twenties. It had nothing to do with my attitude towards women or that women owed me anything.

It was just chance and my own anxiety.

 

[wandering]

You can choose not to discuss your sex life, can you say the same about race?

Okay, if you want to be that way

Tell me that the onus is on a gay man to not feel marginalized and dehumanized by anti-LGBT sentiment.

 

[shoelacer]

”It's only effective if you hand them that power"

Yeah, totally doesn't resemble rhetoric around slurs at all.

Here's a thought: how about we discourage shaming people for attributes that have no bearing on their character instead of putting the onus on individuals to magically not be affected by being degraded.

You do get how stupid it is to compare ones virginal status to ones race right

 

[Chuckie]

“It’s only effective if you hand them that power”

Yeah, totally doesn’t resemble rhetoric around slurs at all.

The rhetoric might be the same, the kind of words the rhetoric is used on is not.

A racial slur is always intended as an insult, so the effectiveness/power of the word has nothing to do with the one who it is said too.

The word virgin is to describe someone who has not had sex yet for the first time. The term is neutral of itself.

That being said, in this society where virgin shaming is indeed a thing, I do not think it is the 'victims' fault for giving the word power.

 

[LeroyPantwether]

I didn't have any sexual contact until my late twenties. It had nothing to do with my attitude towards women or that women owed me anything.

It was just chance and my own anxiety.

Can you elaborate on how it was chance ? Or what is meant by chance in this context ?

 

[Malvolio]

Okay, if you want to be that way

Tell me that the onus is on a gay man to not feel marginalized and dehumanized by anti-LGBT sentiment.

No, because your angle is absurd and insulting. I'm going to stick to the topic and not further detail with this absurd comparison.

 

[Warm Machine]

My stance on hookers took made a complete change when my somewhat famous ex neighbor had one over on his birthday during the afternoon. I thought that if he wanted that kind of attention given who he was and that it likely didn’t effect his self esteem or health than the same would have been true for me.

Knowing that I would have called in to the agency when I was 24 and miserable. Ideally asking for a woman who would take the evening to make it worth while.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Can you elaborate on how it was chance ? Or what is meant by chance in this context ?

I have plenty of platonic female friends. I don't have had many romantic ones. It's just how things happen.

 

[hypernima]

He's a-formatting yo step off

Question to any asexual people here. What thoughts are running through your head in a conventionally sexual situation?

With sex, you feel like it is something you have to do, because of societal, and spousal expectation.

There were so many situations I was in pitted by friends regarding sex, and I'm just sitting to myself realizing, wait, I'm not at all interested in having sex with this person. But there's like a group of your friends laughing at you cause obviously something is wrong with you if you don't want an obvious sexual encounter.

 

[wandering]

You do get how stupid it is to compare ones virginal status to ones race right

Did I ever equal them? As a person of color, I don’t need the lesson, thanks.

No, because your angle is absurd and insulting. I'm going to stick to the topic and not further detail with this absurd comparison.

Your argument amounts to “sticks and stones.” As someone who’s experienced bullying on the part of my race, my lack of sexual activity, and my perceived orientation, I find your angle absurd and insulting.

 

[Chaos2Frozen]

Having said that: i personally love sex and i'm glad i started when i was young.
Still, i couldn't care less about people who choose not to.

Good for you, you don't have to be worried about being virgin shamed.

 

[LeroyPantwether]

My stance on hookers took made a complete change when my somewhat famous ex neighbor had one over on his birthday during the afternoon. I thought that if he wanted that kind of attention given who he was and that it likely didn’t effect his self esteem or health than the same would have been true for me.

Knowing that I would have called in to the agency when I was 24 and miserable. Ideally asking for a woman who would take the evening to make it worth while.

Uhhhh ummmm uhhh , this post makes my eyes cross .

Yeah some don't feel those evolutionary forces as strong as others. Or don't want to give in.
So? We all have to run around like fuck-monkies all day? Well most of us do, haha.
It's embarrassing to witness sometimes. The oh so obvious sexual urge in the oh so seemingly innocent sexual-unrelated things we do. The sexual desperation of our behavior makes me sick sometimes.

You SHOULD be surprised to be judged by others. They should mind their own fucking business and be more openminded..

Having said that: i personally love sex and i'm glad i started when i was young.
Still, i couldn't care less about people who choose not to.

Lmao. This post is so strange .

 

[The Artisan]

looks like this'll be an interesting video

 

[FStubbs]

I think it stems more from self esteem issues and shying away from such advances rather than being so hideous that no 'normal' person would want to go near them. It's not always black and white.

Actually that's exactly why virgins who don't want to be virgins are still virgins, combined with "not going for the lowest common denominator or a prostitute."

 

[shoelacer]

Did I ever equal them? As a person of color, I don’t need the lesson, thanks.

you literally compared the use of the word 'virgin' as an insult to racial epithets

 

[LyleLanley]

I didn't have any sexual contact until my late twenties. It had nothing to do with my attitude towards women or that women owed me anything.

It was just chance and my own anxiety.

I'm not saying people who lose their virginity later in life, or never lose it, are MRA types but to me it feels like saying it happens by chance takes out any personal accountability. Building a relationship, even if it's a drunken one night stand, requires some work, you're not rolling dice.

 

[LeroyPantwether]

I'm not saying people who lose their virginity later in life, or never lose it, are MRA types but to me it feels like saying it happens by chance takes out any personal accountability. Building a relationship, even if it's a drunken one night stand, requires some work, you're not rolling dice.

Exactly