Goldenroad
Member
Pretty much, except replace "a message" with "some form of contact with another person".
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
What is infidelity to you and where do you cross the line?
- Thread starter TheOfficeMut
- Start date
- Status
Pretty much, except replace "a message" with "some form of contact with another person".
KernelPanic
Member
I'm oversimplifying but I will say Physical/emotional intimacy.
Basically if you say/do something you wouldn't want your SO to know you are swimming in dangerous waters.
My wife is pretty much the same way. She's too nice to outright shoot them down. Some assholes really cross the line and it's amazing to watch their persistence even though she's clearly not interested and not single
to boot.
Has caused some problems between I must say lol
I can't stand playing online games with her anymore.
Basically if you say/do something you wouldn't want your SO to know you are swimming in dangerous waters.
My wife is pretty much the same way. She's too nice to outright shoot them down. Some assholes really cross the line and it's amazing to watch their persistence even though she's clearly not interested and not single
to boot.
Has caused some problems between I must say lol
I can't stand playing online games with her anymore.SamuelSupreme
Banned
Anything you wouldn't feel comfortable doing with another person (Physically, Verbally, Emotionally) in front of your SO to me is Infidelity.
StanleyStutters
Member
Varies on the relationship. Basically, I look at it as something you're doing with someone else that you feel you need to hide from your S/O.
I had an ex who got angry that I had women (co-workers and friends) on Snapchat. She thought I shouldn't be sending to pictures to other women. They were all innocent, but the idea drove her crazy. That relationship didn't last for obvious reasons.
My current GF, has no issue with stuff like that and we are both very trusting. I've had conversations about sex with female friends of mine and told her about them without feeling any guilt or shame. All depends on you and the person you are with IMO.
I had an ex who got angry that I had women (co-workers and friends) on Snapchat. She thought I shouldn't be sending to pictures to other women. They were all innocent, but the idea drove her crazy. That relationship didn't last for obvious reasons.
My current GF, has no issue with stuff like that and we are both very trusting. I've had conversations about sex with female friends of mine and told her about them without feeling any guilt or shame. All depends on you and the person you are with IMO.
Was thinking the same thing
secret emotional or physical intimacy.
Everyone has wildly different boundaries. Everyone has wildly different lines. Some boundaries can change at different life stages. I guess the bottom line for me is if you have to keep any form of intimacy a secret from your spouse/partner, you are breaking trust, respect, and being unfaithful.
Everyone has wildly different boundaries. Everyone has wildly different lines. Some boundaries can change at different life stages. I guess the bottom line for me is if you have to keep any form of intimacy a secret from your spouse/partner, you are breaking trust, respect, and being unfaithful.
Infidelity is any relationship that falls outside of the bounds of our agreed upon rules and trust.
In our case that would be having a relationship, emotional or sexual, outside of our partnership and lying about it. As long as our rules about communication and sexual safety are being adhered to we are good, because most of those rules are about communication and making sure that all parties are consenting at each stage of the relationship.
In our case that would be having a relationship, emotional or sexual, outside of our partnership and lying about it. As long as our rules about communication and sexual safety are being adhered to we are good, because most of those rules are about communication and making sure that all parties are consenting at each stage of the relationship.
LambdaTeos
Member
Physical for me would be kissing or touching with the intention of intimacy, everything from that point
Flirting is not cheating in my book nor my SO's book
Emotional cheating would be only if my SO hides it from me, if he feels attracted to someone else I believe it is his obligation (as far as being part of a committed relationship) to tell his current partner, either they decide to work it out or go separate paths is other topic, but hiding that feeling for someone else from your SO is heating for me.
Not in an open relationship, but if he ever decided to go a different path I would totally understand it, just be honest about it, if you're not, then you are cheating
Flirting is not cheating in my book nor my SO's book
Emotional cheating would be only if my SO hides it from me, if he feels attracted to someone else I believe it is his obligation (as far as being part of a committed relationship) to tell his current partner, either they decide to work it out or go separate paths is other topic, but hiding that feeling for someone else from your SO is heating for me.
Not in an open relationship, but if he ever decided to go a different path I would totally understand it, just be honest about it, if you're not, then you are cheating
HawksWinStanley
Member
Unless you're making yourself available 24/7 that sounds like a tall order.
brb dying alone
Lé Blade Runner
Member
Well put, and I agree completely. My girlfriend is pretty close with this rather handsome guy - they've been friends for a while; the friendship began much before we started dating. At first I was pretty wary of this, asked her questions and eventually simply decided to trust her. I've got to know the guy well and now consider him a good friend of mine. It helped to realize that despite being two good-looking people, they've never been attracted to each other. Or if they have been, the attraction hasn't thrived.
Sexual intent is cheating. Emotional closeness isn't. It might lead to sex, sure, but so can drinking. As long as it doesn't, it is allright, allright, allright.
KernelPanic
Member
If you're not the first person she goes to dump her problems to, sooner or later some other guy will be dumping into her.
Zantetsuken
Member
The Olivia memes were great.
I remember this one time when my ex (then GF) found some of my porn on my computer and demanded an explanation. I was like: "I am a man, this is what we do"
If you're simply friends with benefits, then yeah, I'd agree. If it's a relationship then no fucking way lol,
Gordon Shumway
Banned
As soon as the tip goes anywhere in anything..
Mineshaft_Gap
4077th
Classy.
OG Shaka Zulu
Member
That is the smartest thing Raven Symone has said this decade.
This is worryingly specific
But it touched me first!
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Enter The 36 Chambers
Member
Anything beyond flirting really
Context matters most
Context matters most
Doc Holliday
SPOILER: Columbus finds America
Knuckle Sandwich
Member
"Emotional friend."
SalGovernalecrying.gif
SalGovernalecrying.gif
This. Why value yourself at any less? I matter too much to myself to let myself be insulted like that.
I just got into a huge fight with my gf because I texted an Ex.
I never text this Ex, but I had some exciting news, and just wanted to tell everyone. Of course I didn't tell the current girlfriend about it and she found out and is incredibly pissed off and accusing me of wanting to cheat.
Bleh. Relationships are hard.
I never text this Ex, but I had some exciting news, and just wanted to tell everyone. Of course I didn't tell the current girlfriend about it and she found out and is incredibly pissed off and accusing me of wanting to cheat.
Bleh. Relationships are hard.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Yeah ditto this. Much worse imo.
How dare she receive flirtatious messages and not involve the boyfriend. Breakup ASAP.
JinjoUnchained
Member
Watching anime with another guy is where I draw the line.
Kidding, cheating is different for each couple. It's secretly doing something with a third party that's outside your relationship parameters. Whatever they may be. I've heard of some couples that are OK with wanking someone else, but not kissing.
Kidding, cheating is different for each couple. It's secretly doing something with a third party that's outside your relationship parameters. Whatever they may be. I've heard of some couples that are OK with wanking someone else, but not kissing.
Phoenix RISING
Banned
First post does it again.
emotional affairs includes pr0n for those wondering
Bruh if you can't enjoy watching some hentai together idk what you're doing.
BlackBanditSho
Member
cheating: any action with another person that would hurt the feelings and betray the trust of your partner.
Basically, if your partner catches you in the middle of whatever, and you suddenly feel embarrassed, then you're definitely in the wrong.
EDIT - to clarify - you might ask, "What's wrong with porn?" Short answer: nothing. However, that depends on your relationship/communication with your partner. If you're guys are cool with this and have an understanding about how this operates in your situation, then there's no embarrassment. You're only guilty when you're caught with your fingers in the cookie jar, nahmeen?
Basically, if your partner catches you in the middle of whatever, and you suddenly feel embarrassed, then you're definitely in the wrong.
EDIT - to clarify - you might ask, "What's wrong with porn?" Short answer: nothing. However, that depends on your relationship/communication with your partner. If you're guys are cool with this and have an understanding about how this operates in your situation, then there's no embarrassment. You're only guilty when you're caught with your fingers in the cookie jar, nahmeen?
Maybe I'm misunderstanding your post, but I'd actually really like an explanation for why you think that pornography falls under the umbrella of emotional infidelity. Pornography is often criticized for desensitizing viewers to the link between emotions and sex, and is not typically engaged in as a form of romantic surrogacy. You're essentially arguing the opposite and I'd love to know where you're coming from.
Phoenix RISING
Banned
Having sex with a human > masturbating to moe tentacle rape
At least on planet Earth.
Neverforget
Member
Emotional attachment and sexual desire for someone else are considered cheating in my book.
Basically finding other people attractive is fine, wanting to be emotionaly or/and physically close to them is a big no.
Basically finding other people attractive is fine, wanting to be emotionaly or/and physically close to them is a big no.
pretty much when they start liking someone else as much if not more than you. their mental priorities change. they might be with you, but they sure as hell aint 'with' you. Far worse than physical cheating imo.
unless that doesn't bother you and yer all about dat booty son
Doesn't there have to be some level of intent-to-action though? Do you really consider a partner having a crush to be infidelity if they don't act on the crush?
They have a toy but at the same time they can't wait to get their hands on the latest one, thus they worry about failing and ending up without neither in the end.
- Status