• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Would you date a girl who had genital herpes?

Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Devolution

Member
hokahey said:
My best friend dated a girl with herpes for years. Never contracted it. He always made it sound like it's pretty damn tough to get if you're careful and plan sex accordingly.
Click to expand...

Could also be he's asymptomatic.

Herpes fear seems hyped up by the abstinence crew since it's pretty damn common.
 
E

Enfinit

Member
It depends on how you feel about her - if she's only a 10/10 physically, then I wouldn't risk having sex. There's plenty of other options to get off, and a bunch of fucking sessions wouldn't be worth the risk (to me, anyways).

However, if she's a 10/10 physically AND emotionally, then it might be worth it to take the risk. There's a difference between fucking and making love, and if you want to make love to her, then I'd say wrap your dong up and go for it. Especially if she's wife material.

It's just all up to you and if you think she's worth it. If you just find her hot, then I'd say no. But if she's more than that, I'd say go for it. One of my closest friends and his girl have been together for a long, long time, and she's had herpes since before they got together. Their relationship is great, and they just so sexual alternatives instead using the 'ole dingleberries in the hoo-haa.

GrotesqueBeauty said:
Whether you accept the inherent risk in hooking up is on you OP, but I have a thousand times more respect for the girl because she was responsible enough to drop her pride and be upfront. If she's not relationship material she's definitely friend material.
Click to expand...
Agreed.
 
W

WorldStar

Banned
hydragonwarrior said:
Another way to look at it lol - but if you guys click well enough, even the decrease in looks isn't a big ass deal (evidence: no girl in a relationship looks sexy 24/7)
Click to expand...

i wasn't even talking about her looks degrading

he'll just get tired of tappin dat same ass given enough time

some bros who have never been with a 10/10 think that they will remain a 10/10 as long as they dont get old and weathered. these kinda guys are at of touch with reality.

it just aint true, you'll get bored given some time bro
 
K

KingJolly

Banned
Is there anyway knowing if someone has genital herpes? I fear there are some assholes out there that won't tell you till its too late.
 
D

Dicer

Banned
At least she told you, I personally wouldn't risk it...but in my younger days I might have...she would have to be 10 in looks and personality though

Plenty of hot & clean gals out there.
 
G

gatti-man

Member
Same thing happened to me OP. I said no. And it sucked because I really liked her but think even if it's a 5% chance that's something you carry for the rest of your life.

There's plenty of fish in the sea. Unless you think she's the love of your life I wouldnt. Even then I'd really really think about it.
 
M

MrToughPants

Brian Burke punched my mom
HenryGale said:
http://www.vox.com/2014/4/23/5628696/you-probably-have-herpes - Here's a snippet.
Click to expand...

Yep.

And condoms don't protect 100% against HSV-2 or HPV.

How common is genital herpes?

Genital herpes is common in the United States. In the United States, about one out of every six people aged 14 to 49 years have genital herpes.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
Click to expand...

Also:

How common is HPV and the health problems caused by HPV?

HPV (the virus): About 79 million Americans are currently infected with HPV. About 14 million people become newly infected each year. HPV is so common that most sexually-active men and women will get at least one type of HPV at some point in their lives.

Health problems related to HPV include genital warts and cervical cancer.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm
Click to expand...
 
I

IceCold

Member
A lot of people have herpes and they don't even know about it. If you banged a couple of different people, the odds are good that you have it too. Most don't have outbreaks.
 
U

UFRA

Member
He just met her.

He doesn't know anything about the long term potential here. Only speculation.

Not worth the risk.

OR

You hold off on the sex for MONTHS until you really get to know her and can truly say something more than "she's hot and smart" because many people can fulfill those two traits after a few dates. Long term? Who knows... herpes is permanent.
 
J

johnny_park

Member
I was dating a girl and she stopped me when we were making out and told me she had to tell me something. She told me she had herpes. As time goes by I start to like her more and more and I decided she was worth the risk. We had sex whenever she didn't have a breakout. I didn't catch it, thank god because she broke up with me a couple months later and the thought of having to have the conversation with every person you want to sleep with scares the shift out of me.

Would not do it again.
 
B

BuggyDClown

Member
MrToughPants said:
Yep.

And condoms don't protect 100% against HSV-2 or HPV.



Also:
Click to expand...

Not to mention people don't know that you can have herpes but never show symptoms and still spread it.

Who would have thought that the avoidance of proper sexual education would lead to so many people not understanding things like STIs. :/

For instance.. LOL

johnny_park said:
I was dating a girl and she stopped me when we were making out and told me she had to tell me something. She told me she had herpes. As time goes by I start to like her more and more and I decided she was worth the risk. We had sex whenever she didn't have a breakout. I didn't catch it, thank god because she broke up with me a couple months later and the thought of having to have the conversation with every person you want to sleep with scares the shift out of me.

Would not do it again.
Click to expand...

Yeah... hate to break it to you BUT She can spread it easily even when she doesn't have a breakout. You may and likely have it. Unless you specifically ask for the test they don't test for it. You can also spread it, even if you never have a breakout.

How is genital herpes spread?

You can get herpes by having oral, vaginal, or anal sex with someone who has the disease.
Fluids found in a herpes sore carry the virus, and contact with those fluids can cause infection. You can also get herpes from an infected sex partner who does not have a visible sore or who may not know he or she is infected because the virus can be released through your skin and spread the infection to your sex partner(s).
Click to expand...
 
PhineBuyM3

PhineBuyM3

Member
OP, Imma get back to you in a sec...

PhoenixDark said:
Bail out
GzCkvre.gif
Click to expand...

What the hell is going on here?
 
Aesius

Aesius

Member
HenryGale said:
Not to mention people don't know that you can have herpes but never show symptoms and still spread it.

Who would have thought that the avoidance of proper sexual education would lead to so many people not understanding things like STIs. :/

For instance.. LOL



Yeah. She can spread it easily even when she doesn't have a breakout. You may and likely have it. Unless you specifically ask for the test they don't test for it. You can also spread it, even if you never have a breakout.
Click to expand...

GAF's insane fear of all STDs never fails to entertain.
 
C

CLBridges

Member
Nope. And tbh if a woman told me this, it would be impossible for me to view her as a 10/10. Is it worth the risk? Only you can answer that. But for me, nah.
 
B

BuggyDClown

Member
Aesius said:
GAF's insane fear of all STDs never fails to entertain.
Click to expand...

What? I never said anything about fear. If anything I am talking about being informed. Now knowing that someone has visible signs of herpes is not only a turn off, but it's sort of like avoiding an obvious risk.

Sex is not hard to come by. If a girl says she has herpes, I wouldn't have sex with her. Sorry?

Explain to me how I am in any way fulfilling what you are even insinuating. All I have done is supplied some vital information to many people in here whom lack basic STI education and believe a lot of the misinformation taught out there.
 
F

Ferrio

Banned
Wouldn't be a deal breaker. Herpes really isn't that big of a deal.

It's only recently in history that it's become "icky" to contract

It wasn't until a drug maker wanted to start selling medication for it, they started to demonize it. If you reject her, you're doing it because a company wanted to make money off of people.

Herpes simplex was not always stigmatised. It was merely a cold sore in an unusual place until the 1970s. As late as 1975, a study of "Psychological morbidity in a clinic for sexually transmitted disease” does not mention herpes simplex because at that time, there was no significant morbidity problem (i.e. mental anxiety or illness) associated with the virus.[92]

Pedro Cuatrecasas states, "during the R&D of acyclovir (Zovirax), marketing [department of Burroughs Wellcome] insisted that there were 'no markets’ for this compound. Most had hardly heard of genital herpes...” Thus marketing the medical condition – separating the 'normal cold sore’ from the 'stigmatized genital infection’ was to become the key to marketing the drug, a process now known as 'disease mongering’.[93][94]
Click to expand...
 
Aesius

Aesius

Member
HenryGale said:
What? I never said anything about fear. If anything I am talking about being informed. Now knowing that someone has visible signs of herpes is not only a turn off, but it's sort of like avoiding an obvious risk.

Sex is not hard to come by if a girl says she has herpes, I wouldn't have sex with her. Sorry?

Explain to me how I am in any way fulfilling what you are even insinuating. All I have done is supplied some vital information to many people in here whom lack basic STI education and believe a lot of the misinformation taught out there.
Click to expand...

Nah, I'm not talking about you. I mean, I'm the same way in that I wouldn't willingly have sex with someone who has an STD. But some people on here seem to think that herpes or HPV or even cold sores are some type of social death sentence.
 
J

johnny_park

Member
HenryGale said:
Not to mention people don't know that you can have herpes but never show symptoms and still spread it.

Who would have thought that the avoidance of proper sexual education would lead to so many people not understanding things like STIs. :/

For instance.. LOL



Yeah... hate to break it to you BUT She can spread it easily even when she doesn't have a breakout. You may and likely have it. Unless you specifically ask for the test they don't test for it. You can also spread it, even if you never have a breakout.
Click to expand...
Well this was 3 years ago and if I do have it I would think that I would have passed it on to someone.
 
B

BuggyDClown

Member
Aesius said:
Nah, I'm not talking about you. I mean, I'm the same way in that I wouldn't willingly have sex with someone who has an STD. But some people on here seem to think that herpes or HPV or even cold sores are some type of social death sentence.
Click to expand...

Got it. Sorry lol, but quoting me made it seem pretty condescending and aimed at me. I personally felt I was being fairly practical about it, I didn't think I suggested anything which sounded hyperbolic or fearing.

I do think it's a HUGE turn off and gross, more from a visual standpoint lol.
 
C

CarpeDeezNutz

Member
The way the OP reads, sounds like you already made your choice lol. "What am I going to tell the next girl when I move on from this one?!"

Edit: do you feel guilty about having to turn her down?
 
O

Omega Ultimus

Member
People are saying that condoms are useless against genital herpes? Well, from the CDC (http://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.htm):
Genital ulcer diseases and HPV infections can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by a latex condom, as well as in areas that are not covered. Consistent and correct use of latex condoms reduces the risk of genital herpes, syphilis, and chancroid only when the infected area or site of potential exposure is protected. Condom use may reduce the risk for HPV infection and HPV-associated diseases (e.g., genital warts and cervical cancer).
Genital ulcer diseases include genital herpes, syphilis, and chancroid. These diseases are transmitted primarily through “skin-to-skin” contact from sores/ulcers or infected skin that looks normal. HPV infections are transmitted through contact with infected genital skin or mucosal surfaces/secretions. Genital ulcer diseases and HPV infection can occur in male or female genital areas that are covered (protected by the condom) as well as those areas that are not.

Laboratory studies have demonstrated that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens.

Theoretical basis for protection. Protection against genital ulcer diseases and HPV depends on the site of the sore/ulcer or infection. Latex condoms can only protect against transmission when the ulcers or infections are in genital areas that are covered or protected by the condom. Thus, consistent and correct use of latex condoms would be expected to protect against transmission of genital ulcer diseases and HPV in some, but not all, instances.
Click to expand...
In essence, you may get it eventually if you have sex with a partner even if they are not showing symptoms and you refrain from using a condom/if he is not using a condom. Ultimately, whether the disease is a deal-breaker or not depends on the situation, but, then again, 1 in 6 people in the US have it...maybe it's time to prepare for the genital herpes dystopia, folks.
 
ramuh

ramuh

Member
Not a cold sore chance in hell. Not with someone you just met. Unless it's a long term thing, don't do it. While relationships don't always last, herpes does.
 
F

Frustrated_Grunt

Member
Ferrio said:
Wouldn't be a deal breaker. Herpes really isn't that big of a deal.

It's only recently in history that it's become "icky" to contract

It wasn't until a drug maker wanted to start selling medication for it, they started to demonize it. If you reject her, you're doing it because a company wanted to make money off of people.
Click to expand...
I read about this too. The idea that 80 percent don't even know about it makes it something that's difficult to worry about anyway.

It can't be the horrid disease everyone makes it out to be if so many have it and are able to live normal lives. Can't be worse than the seasonal canker sores I get. Those outbreaks are the real crap shoot.
 
I

isoquant

Member
Ferrio said:
Wouldn't be a deal breaker. Herpes really isn't that big of a deal.

It's only recently in history that it's become "icky" to contract

It wasn't until a drug maker wanted to start selling medication for it, they started to demonize it. If you reject her, you're doing it because a company wanted to make money off of people.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've done a fair amount of research in the last few days; I know the virus itself is not a big deal. The issue is that with all of the stigma around herpes you have to tell your future sexual partners and hope they won't mind (they probably will).

I definitely see long-term potential with this girl, but I'm in my early 20s so there is no way marriage is going to happen or anything.

All of my friends have warned me against it, and I know if I was removed from the situation I would say that too, but she's such an amazing girl... Fuck...
 
F

Ferrio

Banned
Pizarro said:
Prior to the 1970s it was thought if you shook hands with the gays they'd give you HIV.
Click to expand...

Yes, but that was from ignorance.


The fear of herpes came from people wanting to sell drugs to a disease no one at the time gave a damn about. They stigmatized it so people would buy their drug.
 
S

SapientWolf

Trucker Sexologist
GQman2121 said:
When you get into high school you'll take a class for one semester explaining all about herps, and cauliflower dick, and all that fun stuff. You'll see what's manufactured...
Click to expand...
I took an HSB class back in college. The symptoms are so mild that 90% of the people that have genital herpes don't even know about it. Plus, it seems like most of the new genital herpes infections are from HSV-1, which is much milder than HSV-2 in that region. The pus leaking, moon surface genitals that are prominently featured are the exception rather than the rule.

I think it's absolutely a case where the stigma is worse than the actual disease.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Well...I'm cursed....Dating.
2
69
4K
Woggleman replied
Ok, let's talk about this Persona 3 scene...
Cringe
25
3K
Shut0wen replied
  • Locked
NYP: I have a micropenis — this is how I break the news to sexual partners
2
81
6K
Days like these... replied
Young men reveal why so many of them are single: ‘Dates feel more like job interviews’
4 5 6 7 8
392
26K
German Hops replied
My dad’s dog bit off my nose — now I have hair growing on my face
2 3 4 5 6
260
17K
Auto_aim1 replied
Top Bottom