• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Would you date a girl who had genital herpes?

Status
Not open for further replies.

-COOLIO-

The Everyman
well, for starters. youve probably gotten non-gential herpes from your partner if you didnt already. since i think 80% of us have it.

second, non genital herpes, during an outbreak, can be transferred to the genitals to become genital herpes. so you dont have to sleep around to get it either, you can only be with one person your entire life and still get genital herpes.
 

Drensch

Member
So I met this girl. She's 10/10, really fun and smart. A few dates in - before we had sex - she tells me she has genital herpes.

With her taking suppressive medication and me using protection the risk of transmission is very small. But I'm in my early 20s, and the thought of having this same awkward conversation with my future sexual partners makes me uncomfortable.

Would you risk it?

I had the same exact situation. It killed me but I had to end it.
 

Amagon

Member
One of my relationships ended when this girl told me she had it. It sucks but there is plenty of fish out there that don't have the herps
derp
.
 

ramuh

Member
The fear of herpes came from people wanting to sell drugs to a disease no one at the time gave a damn about. They stigmatized it so people would buy their drug.


I don't know what you mean by "fear". I would thing a extra dose of caution is a truer statement. And it has a stigma attached because it's an incurable Sexually Transmitted Disease. And you get outbreaks. So there will always be a stigma attached to it. Just because a large minority of the population has it, doesn't mean you can't err on the side of caution. No one is saying they should be ostracized. Just be careful with any sexual contact with people infected with the virus.
 

isoquant

Member
well, for starters. youve probably gotten non-gential herpes from your partner if you didnt already. since i think 80% of us have it.

I don't think so. I just got a blood test the other day to check for herpes and it came up clean. I assume that the blood test checked for all types of herpes virus.

second, non genital herpes, during an outbreak, can be transferred to the genitals to become genital herpes. so you dont have to sleep around to get it either, you can only be with one person your entire life and still get genital herpes.

True. And to the idiots who said she got it from sleeping around: she got it from her long-term boyfriend.

Another issue is that even though condoms helps reduce the risk of transmission during sex, oral is still problematic. You can use a condom / dental dam during oral, but who wants to do that?
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
It's not a conspiracy theory.... it's pretty well documented how it went down.

People do not avoid STDs because Big Pharma told them. They avoid them because it is common sense to avoid any disease that is incurable. The fact that it is widespread changes literally none of that, nor does the fact that there are people trying to profit off fear.

Pointing out that people didn't care about something before 1970 is just...well, fucking nonsense, man. We have learned a great deal about STDs in the past 40 years, so of course people had different views back then. I honestly can't believe you posted that with a straight face. Be honest, were you making some kind of joke there?
 

Kaiken

Banned
A lot more common then people think. A good percentage from these very forums probably had sex with a mate that unknowingly had herpes. I've dated a very nice woman and practiced safe sex with no issues or outbreaks on either side.

If she's down to earth and your genuinely attracted then go for it!
 

ramuh

Member
Pointing out that people didn't care about something before 1970 is just...well, fucking nonsense, man. We have learned a great deal about STDs in the past 40 years, so of course people had different views back then. I honestly can't believe you posted that with a straight face. Be honest, were you making some kind of joke there?

Not an STD, buy we didn't know about Hep C then either.
 

BPoole

Member
Isn't the deal that if the person is not having an outbreak, they can't spread the STD? I know that is how it works with cold sores. I get cold sores and any time I had one I wouldn't kiss my SO and none of them ever contracted it.
 

isoquant

Member
Isn't the deal that if the person is not having an outbreak, they can't spread the STD? I know that is how it works with cold sores. I get cold sores and any time I had one I wouldn't kiss my SO and none of them ever contracted it.

When there is an outbreak, the risk is much higher. However, the virus can still be transmitted when there are no physical symptoms.

(Sorry for double post)
 
I would do it if she is wife material. Having herpes doesn't mean you are guaranteed to develop a dick that looks like the face of the moon right after. You may suffer from one severe outbreak and never have to deal with it again for the rest of your life.

But if you want to venture with other people after her, I would at least be good friends with her.

I would actually reconsider her in the future if she had the strength to tell you.
 

hipbabboom

Huh? What did I say? Did I screw up again? :(
Is it safe to go down on a woman who has herpes when you have a cold sore. Do the two infections do battle that ends in a draw?

Is this considered protection?
 

shira

Member
Fuck no. If she got an STD, she likely got it from sleeping around. Don't ruin your life and put one girl on a pedestal, the fact you are already thinking about your next partners says it all.

It's estimated that 17% of people have it.

The truth is it might be as high as 60-70%
 
That doesn't even make sense.

A woman having an incredibly common virus doesn't make her any less of a person. And in any case, in the timeline of my OP, my rating of her came well before I knew about her having the virus.

Try harder.

Relax, I'm just having some fun. You have to admit that saying that you have good taste in women in this thread is kind of funny.
 

kirby_fox

Banned
I have the lip sores. I hate them. I hate when they show up, I hate when they're about to show up because of stress, I hate that the only thing that works most of the time comes in a super small tube that costs $20 and dries up before I use it all.

So...I don't want them on my penis, to be frank. So yeah, I'd not be able to.
 

Ferrio

Banned
People do not avoid STDs because Big Pharma told them. They avoid them because it is common sense to avoid any disease that is incurable. The fact that it is widespread changes literally none of that, nor does the fact that there are people trying to profit off fear.

Pointing out that people didn't care about something before 1970 is just...well, fucking nonsense, man. We have learned a great deal about STDs in the past 40 years, so of course people had different views back then. I honestly can't believe you posted that with a straight face. Be honest, were you making some kind of joke there?


Just because we learned about it doesn't mean it isn't benign as hell and not a big deal. Would you break it off if someone had cold sores? I'm not advocating you should rub the shit all over your crotch but it's really nothing to be worried about.
 

gimmmick

Member
The only time you would even consider hooking up with a chick with an STD is if she is wifey material / you know the person you want to merry. Other then that, fuck that shit bro (no pun intended). I slept with a chick with an STD, and let's just say it was the longest fucking week for me to schedule an appointment and get my results when I got checked up.
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Just because we learned about it doesn't mean it isn't benign as hell and not a big deal. Would you break it off if someone had cold sores? I'm not advocating you should rub the shit all over your crotch but it's really nothing to be worried about.

I was wondering if this was going to be the next thing you posted. No, I do not think we should round up everybody who has a cold sore and fire them into the sun, either. But conversely, calling it "insane" for people to try to avoid an incurable STD is straight incorrect. Honestly, just drop the "it wasn't a big deal in the 70s" angle. It's supremely dumb.

And yeah, it sort of is a big deal. Not on the level of other STDs, but something that can affect your sex life (OP is proof positive of this), affect your looks and affect your comfort level on-and-off for the rest of your life is sort of a big deal.
 

Ferrio

Banned
I was wondering if this was going to be the next thing you posted. No, I do not think we should round up everybody who has a cold sore and fire them into the sun, either. But conversely, calling it "insane" for people to try to avoid an incurable STD is straight incorrect. Honestly, just drop the "it wasn't a big deal in the 70s" angle. It's supremely dumb.

And yeah, it sort of is a big deal. Not on the level of other STDs, but something that can affect your sex life (OP is proof positive of this), affect your looks and affect your comfort level on-and-off for the rest of your life is sort of a big deal.

Well great news, there's tons of ways the OP could prevent transmission and reduce the risk. Hell he might even get it and never even know it. In the end I just think it's a pretty low on list of potential negatives your SO could have. Especially if the op truely thinks she's a 10/10 smart etc.
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Well great news, there's tons of ways the OP could prevent transmission and reduce the risk. Hell he might even get it and never even know it. In the end I just think it's a pretty low on list of potential negatives you're SO could have. Especially if the op truely thinks she's a 10/10 smart etc.

Great. Literally none of this is anything I disputed or argued against.
 

Dennis

Banned
Uh no?

STD does not mean they've been sleeping around.

Yeah, you basically build up Herpometer and then after that 7th dude...

lol the defensive females.....

.......who themselves wouldn't consider sleeping with a STD male.

Look, if she is a disease vector prudent males stay away. It is science, not misogyny.

You are being ridiculous and someone had to call you out.

Get infected with a STD to not offend the sisterhood, brehs.
 

Randam

Member
lol that's not how it works, you serious
Every man gives you a little herpes.
And every other guy gives you some more till it breaks out after the 15th different guy.

You didn't know that?

At the op: AFAIK you can heal herpes.
Can't you?
So just wait.
 

Cynar

Member
Definite no. Just end it unless you want it. The people in here comparing it to cold sores and trying to trivialize this are nuts. Always play it safe and it's great you know so now you can avoid it.
 

Nodnol

Member
I'd wait until you knew her enough to take the risk.

The demonising of people with STD's makes me sad. You know you can contract any number of diseases, and not even know it. Hell, the person you contracted it off might not know.

So in theory you could take every precaution in the world (condoms, contraceptive pill etc), both get tested and be all clear; standard procedure for a new relationship. Months down the line, you both think you're all clean and good and decide to have sex without a condom, though obviously keeping the contraceptive pill or whatever else you're using to help stop 'lil babies.

One of you though has the virus and has never had a breakout, and thus it's impossible to diagnose. Soon the other person gets it, and this concludes getting an STD without sleeping around.

Girl GAF, I'd be interested in your attitude if it was flipped round the other way?
 

Hydrargyrus

Member
There are no 10/10 girls if they have herpes.

So the question should be: " Would you like to have sex with a cute/hot girl with herpes?"

I wouldn't, even if she's freaking hot...
 

raindoc

Member
Yeah, you basically build up Herpometer and then after that 7th dude...

dead2.gif
 

Nodnol

Member
...I mean, how do you make yourself sad like this?

Only passing on my opinion based on experience.

Seems to me that it's a calculated risk; this girl was honest enough to forget about her pride for a second and tell the OP the truth. She has to live with this for the rest of her life, and atleast she's taking responsibility for that.

What makes me sad is this assumption that an STD means someone is automatically loose or easy etc. On top of that, someone people may have just posted "kill it with fire!". They're not lepers!
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Only passing on my opinion based on experience.

Seems to me that it's a calculated risk; this girl was honest enough to forget about her pride for a second and tell the OP the truth. She has to live with this for the rest of her life, and atleast she's taking responsibility for that.

What makes me sad is this assumption that an STD means someone is automatically loose or easy etc.
On top of that, someone people may have just posted "kill it with fire!". They're not lepers!

Yeah, that makes sense.
 

Wazzy

Banned
lol the defensive females.....

.......who themselves wouldn't consider sleeping with a STD male.

Look, if she is a disease vector prudent males stay away. It is science, not misogyny.

You are being ridiculous and someone had to call you out.

Get infected with a STD to not offend the sisterhood, brehs.
Hurrrrrr durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Dennis you totally got us!

Read my post and stop playing stupid and making up your own narrative. I called out someone saying STD means the person must sleep around which is bullshit.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom