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[MikeMyers]

Having re-checked the manga for that Invisible Man fight. Yamcha was initially winning until Baba started singing to distract Yamcha from hearing the Invisible Man's movements, causing Bulma's interference. So Yamcha having help in that battle was only to counteract the fact that his foe was receiving help first.

 

[YoungHav]

Damn, blatant thread title spoilers now?

 

[The Silver]

Damn, blatant thread title spoilers now?

what's this about Thanos?

 

[SalvaPot]

what's this about Thanos?

 

[MikeMyers]

Okay, just looked through the manga for the original DB. Here's every Yamcha fight I found:

Wins:
-Almost defeated a hungry Goku and alongside Puar, defeated Oozaru Goku.
-Saved Goku & Bulma from Boss Rabbit's thugs by defeating them.
-Knocked out Chi-Chi when she tried to attack him with her laser helmet.
-Was shown beating various mooks to qualify for the Tenkaichi Budokai's.
-Defeated The Invisible Man in Baba's tournament, and only needed help to counteract Invisible Man's help.

Losses:
-Challenges non-hungry Goku to a rematch and gets a tooth knocked out.
-Gets eliminated by Jackie Chun using a gush of wind at the 21st Budokai.
-Almost defeats The Mummy by tripping him, but gets overpowered and eliminated at Baba's tournament.
-Trains with Master Roshi and learns the Kamehameha for the 22nd Budokai, but Tenshinhan no sells the move and breaks his legs.
-Climbs Korin's tower to train for the 23rd Budokai and almost beats Kami with the Sokidan, but loses.

 

[Bare Grills]

I wonder how Yamcha would feel about this thread if he was alive to see it.

 

[Xpike]

Beerus says Goku is weaker than Freeza because the Z Fighters always keep their power levels low so bad guys can't detect them easily. Can't believe so many people missed this.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

No, not spidey!

 

[Watch Da Birdie]

If you think about it, what exactly was up with the Saibamen anyway?

I mean, these race of super warriors apparently use these little green dudes to help them for some reason, but we only see them once, and they're never brought up again. None of the flashbacks shows the Saiyans using them, Freeza's troops don't use them, not even the anime has any of the other Saiyan characters burst out Saibamen to help them...we only see them fight Vegeta as training in the Bardock Film.

Also...

Saibamen (栽培マ&#12531, called Cultivars in the reprint of the VIZBIG edition

WHY?

Beerus says Goku is weaker than Freeza because the Z Fighters always keep their power levels low so bad guys can't detect them easily. Can't believe so many people missed this.

Don't see how someone could miss this, Earthlings being able to manage their Power Levels is a big theme in Saiyan/Freeza and one of the reasons they end up winning.

 

[Hurt and Scared]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shit. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shit.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

Somebody stop the damn match enough is enough

 

[Varna]

Beerus says Goku is weaker than Freeza because the Z Fighters always keep their power levels low so bad guys can't detect them easily. Can't believe so many people missed this.

Your really telling me this God of Destruction who has probably trained of thousands of years doesn't realize this? There really isn't any other way to spin it. Base Goku isn't stronger then Freeze anymore. I can kind of see the logic in it. After Freeza nobody gives a shit about non-super saiyans so it's possible that base forms just capped at some point.

 

[m_shortpants]

Your really telling me this God of Destruction who has probably trained of thousands of years doesn't realize this? There really isn't any other way to spin it. Base Goku isn't stronger then Freeze anymore. I can kind of see the logic in it. After Freeza nobody gives a shit about non-super saiyans so it's possible that base forms just capped at some point.

Unless you're Gohan?

 

[dr3upmushroom]

 

[Chie Satonaka]

This is a thing that's never going to die, isn't it?

 

[PK Gaming]

 

[RedAssedApe]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shit. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shit.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

lol...oh god

 

[Nightbird]

This is a thing that's never going to die, isn't it?

Well he did, multiple times even

 

[KHlover]

Having re-checked the manga for that Invisible Man fight. Yamcha was initially winning until Baba started singing to distract Yamcha from hearing the Invisible Man's movements, causing Bulma's interference. So Yamcha having help in that battle was only to counteract the fact that his foe was receiving help first.

Ah no, not really. Yamcha got beat up by the invisible guy initially, then he managed to hit the guy ONCE when he focused on the sound of his footsteps. Baba immediately started singing and Yamcha got beat up again. That's not winning. Yamcha proudly held the L in that fight until Krillin won it for him.

 

[MikeMyers]

Ah no, not really. Yamcha got beat up by the invisible guy initially, then he managed to hit the guy ONCE when he focused on the sound of his footsteps. Baba immediately started singing and Yamcha got beat up again. That's not winning. Yamcha proudly held the L in that fight until Krillin won it for him.

He was clearly going to win the instant he figured out Invisible Man's footsteps, hence why Baba starting singing to masquerade it.

 

[NEO0MJ]

Ah no, not really. Yamcha got beat up by the invisible guy initially, then he managed to hit the guy ONCE when he focused on the sound of his footsteps. Baba immediately started singing and Yamcha got beat up again. That's not winning. Yamcha proudly held the L in that fight until Krillin won it for him.

Why you gotta take his one victory from him?

 

[Xpike]

If you think about it, what exactly was up with the Saibamen anyway?

I mean, these race of super warriors apparently use these little green dudes to help them for some reason, but we only see them once, and they're never brought up again. None of the flashbacks shows the Saiyans using them, Freeza's troops don't use them, not even the anime has any of the other Saiyan characters burst out Saibamen to help them...we only see them fight Vegeta as training in the Bardock Film.

Vegeta and Nappa mention how the Saibaman they used on Earth were the last ones they had.

Your really telling me this God of Destruction who has probably trained of thousands of years doesn't realize this? There really isn't any other way to spin it. Base Goku isn't stronger then Freeze anymore. I can kind of see the logic in it. After Freeza nobody gives a shit about non-super saiyans so it's possible that base forms just capped at some point.

Beerus just simply didn't believe they could even manipulate their ki like that, remenber he always (rightfully) acted like he's way better than any species.

 

[KidA Seven]

Ah no, not really. Yamcha got beat up by the invisible guy initially, then he managed to hit the guy ONCE when he focused on the sound of his footsteps. Baba immediately started singing and Yamcha got beat up again. That's not winning. Yamcha proudly held the L in that fight until Krillin won it for him.

Krillin is that dude that lost to the vampire. The same vampire that Oopa and Puar beat.

Yamcha's most valuable role in Buu Saga was informing the audience that Krillin is the strongest human

But seriously, you know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see DBS make Master Roshi super fucking powerful. Like, maybe when he reaches a certain age his training makes him the human equivalent of a Super Saiyan or whatever. I just want to see him fight again!

You're going to trust Yamcha's opinion? The same guy that thought Tien was ass and then proceeded to get his ass beat by Tien without him even trying. He can't judge a fighter's strength at all.

So what you're saying is that Yamcha is smart because he's a coward, and Krillin is "arrogant" for stepping up, even against seemingly insurmountable odds, to protect his friends and loved ones.

Ok then.

Krillin is actually the one who is too scared to step up to the plate.

-Goku and Krillin look for a girl to bring to Roshi's house. They find Launch and Krillin chickens out against two police officers.
-When Cell and Gohan were having the kamehameha battle, Krillin was the last human to attack Cell. Tien and Yamcha both left and Krillin was initially scared to go.

 

[Black Republican]

Nobody ever thinks about you

damn son

 

[Exterminieren]

I've been thinking about a concept that I'd like to see in Super.

Basically, the entirety of Planet Earth wakes up one morning to discover that they're stronger than Majin Buu. Like, we've got babies exhibiting enormous feats of strength. This sets off sensors across the entire multiverse, and a group of the strongest warriors in the multiverse sets off to Earth to neutralise this new threat.

The one exception to this is Yamcha, who's dead at the time. He gets revived, only to discover he's literally the weakest person on the planet.

But wait! Shock twist! It turns out that everyone's power up is the result of some God of Decay, who vampirically preys on the strongest fighters and powers people up to absorb their strength. He isn't shit physically, but no strong fighter can lay a finger on him without him absorbing their strength and killing them. What's needed to defeat him is a fighter with no noticeable strength or great regard...

So the scene is set. The Z Fighters, including the newly powered up Tien, Krillin, Roshi etc. set themselves towards repelling the multiverse fighters, while Yamcha faces off against the main villain. Yamcha manages to defeat him

Spoiler

at the cost of his own life, obvs

, meaning that his weakness and ineptitude end up saving the day.

Spoiler

Well, YOU think of a credible way for Yamcha to take a W.

 

[DryEyeRelief]

It's even worse in the anime since Vegeta beats the fuck out of Gohan right in front of her, and she still asks him to live with her.

Did this happen in the manga? I don't remember this

 

[Mr. Smiley]

Did this happen in the manga? I don't remember this

It's anime filler.

 

[Alienous]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy.

Sorry, that's all I needed.

That made me laugh so hard.

 

[Erigu]

Found in this thread:
saibai: 0

Almost 500 posts and "Saibaiman" hasn't been spelled correctly even once.

 

[Unknown One]

My favorite thread of 2015 so far.

 

[wildfire]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shit. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shit.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

The greatest tragedy played for laughs.

 

[striferser]

Nobody ever thinks about Yamcha

Ouch.
At this point, i'm not even sure Toriyama remember Yamcha

 

[Snacks the sober sea lion]

Ouch.
At this point, i'm not even sure Toriyama remember Yamcha

He forgot Launch, maybe someday there's hope for them to be forgotten together.

 

[entremet]

Is there a legal way of watching the whole DBZ series online in streaming?

I'm hankering for a rewatch. With Japanese voice/English subs and music of course.

 

[è£ ç”²æ‚ªé¬¼æ‘æ­£]

These guys are called Saibaiman. Did the localization just drop the i to make it sound like Cybermen or what.

 

[Erigu]

These guys are called Saibaiman. Did the localization just drop the i to make it sound like Cybermen or what.

I'm going to blame the (terrible) Dragon Ball wikia for this one.

 

[MetatronM]

These guys are called Saibaiman. Did the localization just drop the i to make it sound like Cybermen or what.

Original DBZ episode title (Ocean Version): "The Saibamen Strike"
Original DBZ episode title (Funimation Version): "Saibamen Attack!"
DBZ Kai episode title: "Yamcha's Struggle! The Terrible Saibamen!"

So yes, all of the various dubs dropped the second i.

 

[Ivan 3414]

Found in this thread:
saibai: 0

Almost 500 posts and "Saibaiman" hasn't been spelled correctly even once.

 

[Vibranium]

He forgot Launch, maybe someday there's hope for them to be forgotten together.

Can we have Launch back instead of Yamcha? I really hope Toriyama hasn't forgotten her once again after he acknowleded he did.

 

[munchie64]

These guys are called Saibaiman. Did the localization just drop the i to make it sound like Cybermen or what.

At least people aren't calling them Cultivar's *shudder*

 

[marink]

Yamcha does have perfect attendance in the movies, that's something.

 

[Omega Kirby]

You win the internet

 

[ZealousD]

Can we have Launch back instead of Yamcha? I really hope Toriyama hasn't forgotten her once again after he acknowleded he did.

Tien neeeeds to get laid. That's reason enough for Launch to come back.

 

[RockTurtle]

someone post that page with the Gintama author defending yamcha!

 

[The Artisan]

all the human characters of dragon ball became irrelevant by the saiyan saga.

by the end, all the characters became irrevelant except for the saiyans.

 

[Shanlei91]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shit. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shit.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

This thread keeps delivering.

 

[ffdgh]

all the human characters of dragon ball became irrelevant by the saiyan saga.

by the end, all the characters became irrevelant except for the saiyans.

Well Hercule managed to help out plenty in the buu saga...more than Yamcha now that I think about it lol.

 

[Sir_Crocodile]

This thread keeps delivering.

unlike yamcha

 

[Professor Beef]

Well Hercule managed to help out plenty in the buu saga...more than Yamcha now that I think about it lol.

Excuse you, but Hercule ended up saving everyone in the Buu Saga.

 

[Kain]

Yamcha or Ten Ten, go!

 

[rac]

Why doesn't cell ever go super saiyan?