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Am I in the forever friend zone?

S

Symphonia

Banned
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...
Soooo...you’re still not in an actual relationship with her?

K.
 
F

FallingEdge

Member
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...

lmao how you talking about living with each other when you aren't even dating
 
Reptars Revenge

Reptars Revenge

Member
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...

^ This is the reason this thread is still on the first page.
 
C

Chmpocalypse

Blizzard
WaterAstro said:
lol holy shit, you guys are way into this feminism thing and trolling that there's really nothing to be gained here anymore. I've got some good advice from like two gaffers and followed through, but the rest of you are just trolling. Enjoy this thread cuz I'm out.



We've been dating, or getting to know each other, for quite some time. I see in relationship gaf talking about 3-5 dates while we're over 50 dates already.
Click to expand...

You're not dating her. You are not in a romantic relationship with her. She already rejected you more than once.
 
D

DongBeetle

Banned
Livedili said:
Misread it then, my bad.

We can start debating feminism if you like. There's plenty proof that those entitled to it are actually retarded. Just throwing a bone here: Google Hugh Mungus. But keep laughing at it :>
Click to expand...
Why wait months for your account to be activated and then try and toss it out the window by doing this shit?
 
F

FallingEdge

Member
WaterAstro said:
We've been dating, or getting to know each other, for quite some time. I see in relationship gaf talking about 3-5 dates while we're over 50 dates already.
Click to expand...

lmaoooooo

50 dates and not in a relationship

does she even know these were dates?

one of the most pathetic threads in recent history
 
Pagusas

Pagusas

Elden Member
pizzaparty said:
Uh, does she know that she's been on 50 dates?
Click to expand...

p33587_p_v8_ab.jpg
 
H

Hollycat

Member
This is the cringiest thread ive ever read -_-
There's no such thing as the friend zone, your just friends, if she wanted more she wouldn't reject you.

To the anti feminist guy... Wat?
 
A

Aureon

Please do not let me serve on a jury. I am actually a crazy person.
This is literally the old dad joke
"I got a girlfriend!"
"Does she know about it?"
"Not yet"

WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...

This is weird as hell.
Did drop on a knee and fucking ask her to get married or what?
Why would a relationship necessarily implicate living together right away?

Most likely case is she realizes she needs you as a emotional crutch, but isn't romantically interested and wants to keep it that way.

For future reference: At that point, a yes is a kiss. "Maybe sometime in the distant future" is a no.

I understand you're not actually interested in general advice, and only in advice about how to actually get HER, so here it is, about as insane as the situation:
Ghost her for a bit.
When you meet her again and she asks about why you haven't been there, explain you've been sexually frustrated and really want a girlfriend at this point, but her overpresence is locking you in.
Gauge response, attempt kiss.

Whatever this advice is actually good for you, good for your chances of getting this girl, or just being forwarded for our entertainment, is up for discussion.
 
C

ClosingADoor

Member
WaterAstro said:
lol holy shit, you guys are way into this feminism thing and trolling that there's really nothing to be gained here anymore. I've got some good advice from like two gaffers and followed through, but the rest of you are just trolling. Enjoy this thread cuz I'm out.



We've been dating, or getting to know each other, for quite some time. I see in relationship gaf talking about 3-5 dates while we're over 50 dates already.
Click to expand...
Those are not dates.

Is there some cultural or religious difference here I am missing maybe that you have left out?
 
H

Hollycat

Member
ClosingADoor said:
Those are not dates.
Click to expand...
Didnt you hear? Every time you hang out with someone youre attracted to its a date by default.
Even if the other person doesn't know

OP: whose idea was it to start holding hands and saying "I love you"? Were they your ideas?
Because if so and she just gave into it thats really creepy. If they were her ideas shes probably messing with you.
 
I

Iolo

Member
So we've gone from not wanting a relationship until she gets her career going, to waiting until she has a career and is financially secure, and I guess the next step is getting into some practice relationships with other men so she can make her mistakes there and avoid hurting you with her relationship inexperience.

Eventually she will not want to date you until she's married with three kids. Or perhaps in another life...
 
S

Steeped in a Sea of Games

Member
Either this is going to end with the op becoming an MRA who hates all women because of how she 'used' him when she eventually finds someone she actually wants to be in a real relationship with, or op is going to convince her to settle for him leading to eventual resentment on both sides and a likely disastrous end.

Everything about this is a total catastrophe.
 
T

TarpitCarnivore

Member
WaterAstro said:
however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.
.
Click to expand...

Have EITHER of you been in a relationship before? These are not things people say to each other upon being asked out. This is like 6+ months down the line of stuff. What the hell
 
Aizo

Aizo

Banned
More of a Twilight Zone than a friend zone. This is like that one episode where the boy can change reality with his mind. That's amazing that you're in a relationship now.
 
M

MazeHaze

Banned
Man the guy who started this thread is a super creep. This is some of the cringiest shit I have ever read.

If a girl you hang out with all of the time has excuses for why you won't be in a relationship, the real reason is that she is not attracted to you. Any other excuse she gives is her letting you down easy.

But seriously OP, what the fuck. All of this "WE are focusing on her career" shit makes me sick with cringe.
 
T

Two Words

Member
Snakeyes said:
It's a real-life Persona Social Link.
Click to expand...
Romance in Persona is so god-fucking-awful. It's the kind of shit that the OP seems to be buying into. It creates this perception that you can get the girl you want by just being there for her until she discovers that she has cared for you in an intimate way all along.
 
D

Dreavus

Member
Dude.

Absolute classic friend zone. She turned you down, checked off that box in her head, and is now enjoying free attention from you without any need to make a decision because she already turned you down. If you're fine with the current arrangement (ie. not dating her) than carry on. If you think at the back of your mind she'll "come around" then you will just eventually start to resent her, especially when she eventually does start dating someone else. "How dare she date some other dude after you helped her so much??" Those kinds of feelings are not healthy. You need to examine exactly why you're hanging out with her and be prepared to stop wasting your time and move on if you are still "waiting and hoping".
 
1

120v

Member
trying to read in between the lines here about how exactly youre "helping" her because this seems to go well beyond career leg ups

ultimately i don't care but all i have to say is if you're financially supporting this person that shit needs to stop asap
 
A

Anion

Member
Hollycat said:
This is the cringiest thread ive ever read -_-
There's no such thing as the friend zone, your just friends, if she wanted more she wouldn't reject you.

To the anti feminist guy... Wat?
Click to expand...
Yeah lol, I don't even know what to say. I'm baffled
 
P

PrivateWHudson

Member
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you should rent an apartment for her. Would make the relationship, and her job hunting easier if you lifted that burden for her. She sounds super frail and like she really needs your help.
 
T

TarpitCarnivore

Member
Dreavus said:
Dude.

Absolute classic friend zone. She turned you down, checked off that box in her head, and is now enjoying free attention from you without any need to make a decision because she already turned you down. If you're fine with the current arrangement (ie. not dating her) than carry on. If you think at the back of your mind she'll "come around" then you will just eventually start to resent her, especially when she eventually does start dating someone else. "How dare she date some other dude after you helped her so much??" Those kinds of feelings are not healthy. You need to examine exactly why you're hanging out with her and be prepared to stop wasting your time and move on if you are still "waiting and hoping".
Click to expand...

And thus why the term friend zone can be so negative. The assumption she "enjoys the free attention" is what leads to people like OP thinking friend zone is a real situation.
 
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