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Are there any childfree people here?

T

Teggy

Member
Google said:
This thread feels super weird.

So many of you look at children as some sort of negative aspect to one's life.

I respect your opinions but it makes me feel really sad for you.
Click to expand...

Surprise, people are different. I don't think these people want your pity.
 
P

Poppy

Member
Google said:
This thread feels super weird.

So many of you look at children as some sort of negative aspect to one's life.

I respect your opinions but it makes me feel really sad for you.
Click to expand...

which is weird because children are a choice you make for yourselves, generally

what people really should be thinking about is looking at the negative aspects of forcing a new life without its consent into a world that doesnt care
 
Master Of Illusion

Master Of Illusion

Member
To conceive a life just for it to be torn away in less than a century with no guarantee of a pleasurable experience is in my opinion the most selfish, abhorrent act.
 
A

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Google said:
This thread feels super weird.

So many of you look at children as some sort of negative aspect to one's life.

I respect your opinions but it makes me feel really sad for you.
Click to expand...

What a bunch of condescending shit.
 
T

The Jazz Cabbage Master

Member
I am 25 and got a vasectomy earlier this year. I actually do my 90 day sperm test next week! I've learned that when it comes to discussing my own lifestyle choices some people are just judgmental assholes who really believe they have a say in my reproduction. I mentioned it to one of my friends and he was really throwing shade at me saying I couldn't possibly know what I want at my age. My siblings are of the mindset that they deserve nieces and nephews. I haven't told my parents cause they'd kill me. I may adopt one day but I really don't want kids. I grew up the youngest of 7 in a pretty impoverished household and it was hard. I want the freedom to choose my own future which is selfish I guess. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
 
Ron Mexico

Ron Mexico

Member
Google said:
This thread feels super weird.

So many of you look at children as some sort of negative aspect to one's life.

I respect your opinions but it makes me feel really sad for you.
Click to expand...

mike6467 said:
No, nobody ever knows. What these people do is incredibly callous, and in my experience, it is said in a genuinely condescending way. It's a complete disregard for someone's life choices that only seems to be socially acceptable when it comes to this particular choice. Intentions do not matter here, your experiences do not matter. People push gay conversion therapy because they legitimately believe heterosexuality is superior because of their experience.

There are plenty of people out there who shouldn't have kids. Just flat out, no way, bad idea. They might know it, or they might not. These are otherwise well-adjusted, financially stable, loving, mature adult couples. Maybe for some people it's the sparkly magic pixie dust that ties their life together and gives them true purpose, and maybe for others it's the catalyst that sends things off the track and ruins the lives of both the parents and the child.

My takeaway point is that parenthood should absolutely be respected and admired for those who choose it. It should not however, be deified, pushed as a fix-it button for life, or a subject which anyone, anywhere is ever patronized for.
Click to expand...

Just thought you might have missed a post or two Google. Ironic, considering the name and all.
 
O

old manatee

Banned
I love my nephews and I'm really good with them, but I don't think I'm going to have my own kids because I'm not a very stable person.
 
M

marzlapin

Member
I don't want kids but "childfree" people seem to have a seething hatred of children and people who have them, so I wouldn't use that label for myself.
 
T

TickleMeElbow

Member
Honestly I might want a kid one day, but the thing is the chances of me getting liver cancer increases 1 to 3 percent every year, and it's cumulative. So if I have a kid at let's say, 39 - 40 ish (how old my dad was when he had my little bro), I'd already be at a 14 to 42 percent chance of getting liver cancer. 14 is okay, but 42 is pretty fucking significant.

So that means by the time my kid is 10, I'd be 50 with a roughly 25 to 75 percent chance. I wouldn't want to put them through that.....
 
A

Az

Member
muu said:
Frustration over societal pressure? First it's when are you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend, then when are you getting married, when are you having a kid, oh you have to have siblings, etc etc.
Click to expand...
I guess I can see that. I have friends that have been trying to get pregnant for a while. Even on them I can tell the pressure from others is enormous
 
Gloggins

Gloggins

Member
Absolutely, my partner feels the same - she would rather be dead than pregnant. We're very much cat people.

Our reasons are both "selfish" as in we value our free time / money; selfless in that more people equals more death and destruction for other species and the environment.

I do admire fertile couples who explore adoption, it's a very selfless and noble act.
 
oneils

oneils

Member
I have no big reason for not wanting children

I simply lack a desire for children. I have no desire to have a child and raise it.

I feel like you should want to have children before you have them.
 
U

User Name Here

Member
I don't have kids and plan on never having them for similar reasons as you OP.

I try to remedy that by giving people some hopefully good ideas about raising their kids.
 
M

Morrigan Stark

Arrogant Smirk
No kids here, don't plan to. I like freedom.

Also kids suck

Google said:
This thread feels super weird.

So many of you look at children as some sort of negative aspect to one's life.

I respect your opinions but it makes me feel really sad for you.
Click to expand...
Contradiction here. Respect != pity

Also, lol.
 
Wag

Wag

Member
I used to work at the Boys and Girls club too. Funny, a lot of people I know like working with kids (teachers, doctors, etc) but don't have any.
 
D

DizzyCaffeine

Member
RPGCrazied said:
My brother said this, but they just had another one. lol

Don't always work.
Click to expand...

Oh for sure...our doctor keeps warning us that it's super easy to get pregnant right after the first one, so I'm just going to have to wrap it up for awhile.

I think the only reason why I came around to the idea of having a kid is because I found someone that I love and admire. We're like a team now, and it makes everything a little more manageable. I seriously don't know how single moms do it without a support system.
 
M

MisterShine

Member
I will win at the game of life by fulfilling my duty of procreation!

A stretch of successes roughly 4 billion years long and you wish to bring it to a close... almost tragic, to be honest.
 
M

muu

Member
Az said:
I guess I can see that. I have friends that have been trying to get pregnant for a while. Even on them I can tell the pressure from others is enormous
Click to expand...

It's probably worse for women. Our daughter's 3, we've been trying for at least a year for a second but it does not appear to be happening -- wife's always been told she can't have kids and her pregnancy was a total surprise, it seems more and more likely that we had one miracle baby and that's gonna be it. A lot of the people in our daycare are having their second, and from the older crowd you do seem to hear "so when's the second coming?" a lot.
 
L

LinkAndEpona

Banned
yrba1 said:
Imagine yourself in a restaurant or movie theater where the kid is crying endlessly, or the way some kids throw tantrums for not getting what they want. Stunts like that makes me applaud establishments that have the No Kids Allowed rule.
Click to expand...

Yup, very much appreciate these type of sanctuaries, they're just so peaceful and pleasant.

It also makes no sense try to convince someone otherwise that they may have been one of these shitty kids.
 
H

Hjod

Banned
Never felt the urge to have kids, I have no problem being around my friends kids, they're fun and all that but it's not for me.
 
S

Syder

Member
I've decided I won't have kids unless circumstances are perfect i.e.: with someone I'm married to, deeply in love with and wealthy enough and stable enough to provide the best possible upbringing.

My parents were poor but I was fortunate to still have a very good upbringing and I would want my kids to have the same or better.
 
M

marzlapin

Member
MisterShine said:
I will win at the game of life by fulfilling my duty of procreation!

A stretch of successes roughly 4 billion years long and you wish to bring it to a close... almost tragic, to be honest.
Click to expand...

Nothing lasts forever, and I'm pretty sure none of my genes are unique anyway.
 
G

Gravy Boat

Member
RPGCrazied said:
My brother said this, but they just had another one. lol

Don't always work.
Click to expand...

I always said to my girlfriend that one would be enough but now I can't wait for our second. I respect people's decision to not have kids but I honestly couldn't go back to being child free. Yes I have less free time, but thats because what used to be my free time is now time spent with my amazing daughter. She's only 2 and a half but she's made me become a better person and I don't hesitate to call her my best friend.

I do think people without kids over exaggerate the downsides to having kids. I still have a life, I still travel, Im still not poor.
 
V

Violence Jack

Member
I'm the only one out of my group of about 20+ close friends that wanted and is having a kid in a few months. My wife and I had a long talk before we got married, and it was something we both wanted. But she only wants to be pregnant once, so we're going to look to adopt later on if we want another.

What I don't like is the group of people who like to shame others for their decisions. Kids aren't for everyone and those people shouldn't be guilted into feeling like they are being selfish by abstaining from having children. That being said, parents don't deserve to be scorned for deciding to have them. You do what you want regardless of how anyone else feels about it.
 
R

Retro

Member
Az said:
I've heard about the childfree subreddit. However, I don't understand the point. I mean, you dont want children and that's perfectly fine. What do they have to talk about?
Click to expand...

10% "Children are terrible" memes.
40% "Child did horrible thing and the parent did nothing" stories.
50% "Person told me I'll change my mind for xyz reasons" (called a "bingo" in their parlance.)

They're usually good for a chuckle but most of it is just stories about people being pressured by relatives / friends / random strangers to have children or being told how wrong they are to not want to have kids.

Google said:
This thread feels super weird.

So many of you look at children as some sort of negative aspect to one's life.

I respect your opinions but it makes me feel really sad for you.
Click to expand...

See, these are the kind of comments (albeit a more innocuous form than usual) that start to pile up and make the regular old childfree people turn into militant child-haters. People made a major lifestyle choice that is different from what you'd do / have done. So sad.
 
A

Acyl

Member
I'm 26. GF definitely wants kids. I could go either way. I see benefits to both situations. No kids = lots of money and time to do whatever the hell you want. Right now I get home at 6pm, and then we cook or go out. Basically chilling at home by 8. TV, games, music, whatever until bedtime. Where does a child fit into this at all?! No idea. I think being "childfree" would be great but boring after so many years. I'd probably wish I had kids when I was 50. Too bad it's risky/impossible for the parents to give birth when they are older. Having a kid when I'm 30-35 seems too soon. Feel like I would be pissed having to deal with a toddler for my "good years" while I'm still healthy and young. And by deal I mean needing a baby sitter whenever I want to go out, and not having any alone time anymore. Or being forced to take the baby out to dinner and such.

I don't think I'd enjoy the early years of having a child but after they start school I'd be happy to help in educating them and teaching them to be a better person than myself. Playing video games, and some sports, paintballing even, damn. Boy or girl we are doing what I want to do lol.

Although, if you live close to your parents when you have kids, you have free babysitters around the clock service, so that could help.
 
B

BocoDragon

or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
I thought I'd want kids one day. Now I'm over 30 but that moment never arrived and doesn't show signs of arriving soon. Now that I know myself, I doubt that I ever will.

I'll be honest though... the thought of not continuing my line and leaving the planet to the many kinds of dummies who shit out kids without a thought kind of burns me, idiocracy style. But w/e I'll be dead so it won't bother me.
 
J

JORMBO

Darkness no more
I'm in my 30s and am not having kids. I'd rather have my free time and more money so I can retire early.
 
S

Swig_

Member
I've been trying to decide if I want kids or not. My gf absolutely does not, so if we want to get married, I'm going to have to make a choice.

I'm really not sure how to decide. I'm 33, never really have felt the need to have kids. Honestly, the first few years sound like torture. I have trouble sleeping already and have an injured back, so raising a kid until they're old enough to be mostly self-sufficient sounds really difficult. But at the same time, I don't want to regret not having one when I'm older. And having an adult child when I'm older sounds kind of cool. Hanging out, having them over for dinner, etc.

But we also have no support. No family nearby to watch the kid. We both work full-time and I like having two incomes. I'm not sure how people even do it these days without help or spending a fortune on childcare. Also, the future of our planet, society, etc really concerns me. I don't want to bring someone into this life and then struggle to keep them alive if the economy tanks or we lose jobs to automation.

I really don't know how to make that choice. I went to the childfree subreddit, hoping that there may be some civilized discussion, but as someone said earlier, it's all memes and stories about nightmare children doing awful things or people trying to pressure them into having kids.
 
H

hammysaurusrex

Member
We're strongly considering not having children. We briefly examined the "childfree" community naively assuming it was a positive atmosphere for couples that chose not to have children and how to deal with the societal pressure to have them, instead it's basically a group that hates all things related to kids and relentless mocks couples that do choose to have children. It was insufferable.
 
Z

Zelias

Banned
No desire to have kids, I have plenty of nephews and nieces. If I met the right person I could potentially be talked into it, but I suck at relationships so that's probably not gonna happen!
 
S

scorcher59

Member
I dont want children but dont identify with the Childfree "label" so to speak, the childfree people i've met are always thinking they're better than people with children so that made me steer clear of Childfree
 
N

NervousXtian

Thought Emoji Movie was good. Take that as you will.
Retro said:
My wife and I are both 35 and agreed before we were married (6 years now, though we've been together for nearly 10 and known each other for nearly 20) we wanted to be childfree.

Not only do we like our current lifestyle, but her parents are both in poor health and we're spending an increasing amount of time taking care of them (driving them around, running errands, etc.); if we had kids we'd be sandwiched between them.

We have friends who have kids and we enjoy spending time with them (and yes, "them" includes the kid), but we just don't want that kind of lifestyle for us personally. We're fine being the cool uncle / aunt or godparents for a while and then sending them off with mom and dad.

We have two wonderful, well-behaved cats, however.
Click to expand...

What the other guy meant he feels sad for you is shit like this.

You won't have someone there for you when you get to that stage.

When we die, we're dead. I don't think a dime I spent on my kids is a waste of money.

People who say they feel bad for people who actively choose to not have children are saying it because they know something you never will be able to know if you don't.

Kids aren't like pets, the feelings can't be described to someone truly to those without them... spending time with your little cousins or nieces or nephews, or kids at the YMCA, church, kids you teach... none of that is the same.

It's just not.
 
I

Incitemaybe

Member
I would personally never want to bring a consciousness into this world.

I find it cruel.

Which is why I'm wonderful with kids, since they're already here I try to empower them and help them see the good aspects while not ignoring the bad.


I think humans have overpopulated by a lot as well. Scale it back people.
 
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