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Are there any childfree people here?
- Thread starter fireflame
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Warm Machine
Member
There is having kids and not having kids. You'll never have any idea what it is like seeing your own child grow, learn, and interact with you and the world. It is equivalent to being born again yourself. There is a primal part of the brain that gets triggered where you begin to remember your own life process reflected in the child.
It is an incomparable experience. You might think a dog or a cat is the same or because you have a niece or a nephew you know what it is like. Those are pale imitations. You unlock a part of you that you didn't even know existed. Like the poster said about killing a tiger with his bare hand without fear to protect his child he nailed it. There is a level of selflessness you discover. That isn't to say everything of yourself disappears, it doesn't just you find more to yourself that wasn't there before.
Now if you don't want kids, fine. That is totally your choice and no one can force you one way or the other. The world does need children who are born into families that will support them. My only issue is that usually the people I know who choose not to have children are the ones who are set up best to care for them.
Parenthood is terribly challenging. There are days when you legitimately question your decision and the kids try your patience. It also makes you constantly wonder how good of a Father or Mother you are and the world will judge you daily for it.
It is an incomparable experience. You might think a dog or a cat is the same or because you have a niece or a nephew you know what it is like. Those are pale imitations. You unlock a part of you that you didn't even know existed. Like the poster said about killing a tiger with his bare hand without fear to protect his child he nailed it. There is a level of selflessness you discover. That isn't to say everything of yourself disappears, it doesn't just you find more to yourself that wasn't there before.
Now if you don't want kids, fine. That is totally your choice and no one can force you one way or the other. The world does need children who are born into families that will support them. My only issue is that usually the people I know who choose not to have children are the ones who are set up best to care for them.
Parenthood is terribly challenging. There are days when you legitimately question your decision and the kids try your patience. It also makes you constantly wonder how good of a Father or Mother you are and the world will judge you daily for it.
Captainbojanglesiii
Banned
Oh, well I'm glad I could be of service there, pal. That would be akin to me using my vindictive lizard brain and saying 'It really sucks that you bred more judgmental scum into the world I inherit.'
It's just not a nice thing to say, and saying 'Well I actually rise above it, but I clearly think it and will say that not to their face' is really just as bad.
Not everyone is going to want to have kids. To suggest that anyone who doesn't want that (May of whom are in this thread) will somehow make the world worse for your child is disrespectful as fuck.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
But it isn't
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
No kids for me.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
I feel just the opposite. A lot of the people who don't breed are usually the ones I wish would inherit the planet, while I look at some of the scumbags and losers I know who did have kids and cringe. #idiocracy
Gravy Boat
Member
Why are you quoting me and not the dozens of people in this very thread who have said that they won't have kids and that it's a selfish choice?
Yes, child free here. Kids can be great, and if my wife wanted them, I'd have been happy to have one. But, she has 5 younger siblings. The youngest of them is about 20 years younger than her. She basically raised them, since her mom worked long hours, and there was no father figure in sight, so she's already been there, done that. My parents were maybe a bit disappointed at first, but my sister gave them their grandchild to spoil, so the heat was taken off me.
I have no regrets at all. Especially since both our families have a history of alcoholism, depression, and schizophrenia (oh, and the possibility of cystic fibrosis). Wouldn't want to subject a child to all of that anyway.
I have no regrets at all. Especially since both our families have a history of alcoholism, depression, and schizophrenia (oh, and the possibility of cystic fibrosis). Wouldn't want to subject a child to all of that anyway.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
No plans to have kids any time soon.
Kids puke and crap and piss everywhere, and track filth everywhere, and scream and cry, and ask difficult questions, and get into fights and don't study properly at school, and rebel against you when they're teenagers, and then when they become adults they won't get in touch any more because they're apparently busy and when I ask them about when they're going to give me grandkids they say they're not having any because kids are too much hassle. Ungrateful shits, let's see how they like not existing.
Kids puke and crap and piss everywhere, and track filth everywhere, and scream and cry, and ask difficult questions, and get into fights and don't study properly at school, and rebel against you when they're teenagers, and then when they become adults they won't get in touch any more because they're apparently busy and when I ask them about when they're going to give me grandkids they say they're not having any because kids are too much hassle. Ungrateful shits, let's see how they like not existing.
Ace Harding
Member
I don't think any less of people that choose not to have kids if that decision is right for them.
But I just put my three year old to bed and he gave me the biggest hug and said "I love you daddy" and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
I was an extremely selfish person before having kids. It's not easy. It's really fucking hard sometimes. But rocking my 7 month old to sleep and getting all silly with my three year old is so much better than anything I could do by myself.
But I just put my three year old to bed and he gave me the biggest hug and said "I love you daddy" and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
I was an extremely selfish person before having kids. It's not easy. It's really fucking hard sometimes. But rocking my 7 month old to sleep and getting all silly with my three year old is so much better than anything I could do by myself.
It's not a selfish choice.
It's a choice people make because they know they are selfish.
That's really what most people in this thread using the word are saying... cutting in a line is a selfish choice.. stealing money is a selfish choice..those acts are selfish.
The act of not having kids is not a selfish choice.
It's a choice people make because they know they are selfish.
That's really what most people in this thread using the word are saying... cutting in a line is a selfish choice.. stealing money is a selfish choice..those acts are selfish.
The act of not having kids is not a selfish choice.
Baroquemantic
Member
I want to have kids one day, but it'll probably never happen.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Why would I quote a dozen people instead of 1?
The only people who say it's "selfish" are people who believe everyone has some moral imperative to propagate.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
Why are we acting like having kids is inherently selfish or selfless? Meaningless dichotomy.
Yeah it's really selfless to shoot jizz into a woman when you're seeking pleasure. What a selfless hero you'd have to be to get someone pregnant. Everyone who shits out a kid is a real hero.
That's just more of your selfish choosing.
scorcher59
Member
When they say that not having children being a selfish choice I wonder "selfish to whom or what?" selfish to a being that its not there? selfish to myself for not waiting the goshdarned kid? selfish to the world?
Does it even matter?
Does it even matter?
Masterspeed
Member
I'm 26 and my gf is 22, we've been together for 4 years now and we've both agreed on having children once we done some more traveling. We've both only traveled around Europe so we want to spend a few years working and traveling around the world before we have children.
I don't see the point in jumping into parenthood so early on in life, it just makes me feel like I've got years of my life just wasted away and I'm glad she thinks completely the same too. Hell, the only reason we even want kids in the future is because we both don't have any other family members to carry down our names for future generations, but I'm sure as we mature more and we've done some travelling we'll be happy enough to make a family, but until then we're just cool being carefree adults doing what ever we want.
I don't see the point in jumping into parenthood so early on in life, it just makes me feel like I've got years of my life just wasted away and I'm glad she thinks completely the same too. Hell, the only reason we even want kids in the future is because we both don't have any other family members to carry down our names for future generations, but I'm sure as we mature more and we've done some travelling we'll be happy enough to make a family, but until then we're just cool being carefree adults doing what ever we want.
Gravy Boat
Member
Why would you dispute a person who made a decision over a person who understand their reason for making that decision?
I dunno, you wanted the easy way out? Being selfish is a totally valid reason to not have a kid that has nothing to do with 'some moral imperative to propogate'
I have kids. Why are you arguing with me over the people in this thread who have said they don't want kids and have admitted that it's due to selfish reasons? I said I respect people who don't have kids. Not once have I claimed to be a hero of any kind.
Feel free to check my posts in this thread and see if I've said anything of the sort.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
I don't believe I have a moral duty to make more humans. The reason parents get so mad at the childfree is that they believe the childfree are judging their life choices.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
The argument that it's selfish to not have kids is nonsensical as a baseline. It's not an argument, it's a thing people say to reaffirm their life decisions.
Gravy Boat
Member
Again, why are you quoting me and not the people who have literally said 'I'm not having kids for selfish reasons'?
What is selfish about realize one may not be cut out to have children and the choosing to spare the hypocritical child a possible terrible upbringing?
Personal, it think it is more self for people to have kids who don't put any long term thought into the child's well being over their personal instinctive desires. You are committing yourself to a minimum 18+ years of dedication to another human life.
Selfishness is:
- having a kid to carry on your family name
- because your religion demands it
- Because you need more income, labor, or converts to your religion
- have someone to take care of you when your are older like a good biological slave
- it is the cool thing to do- think of think of the wedding and baby showers! Squeal!
- to make your parents happy/get them off your back
None of those puts the child's life before the parents.
Good parents decide they want to have kids because want child to share their life with, no strings attached. They want someone to love, not to show off, check off a life goal, or have to fit into society.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Because I don't care about these people. They're wrong.
I've never understood the "selfish" argument. Even if it was, so what? I know plenty of people who have had kids for selfish reasons too.
I've got two kids, I couldn't imagine my life without them, but if people don't want kids, why would I possibly care?
The only "child free" people who annoy me are the ones who seem to think that they shouldn't every have to see or hear kids in public, and completely forget what kids are like.
Of course, I also can't count how many times I've wanted to yell at other parents for their shitty parenting.
I've got two kids, I couldn't imagine my life without them, but if people don't want kids, why would I possibly care?
The only "child free" people who annoy me are the ones who seem to think that they shouldn't every have to see or hear kids in public, and completely forget what kids are like.
Of course, I also can't count how many times I've wanted to yell at other parents for their shitty parenting.
Gravy Boat
Member
Their opinion is wrong. Ok.
Nothing is wrong with it. That's why i don't get why so many people are trying to defend it. It's a totally valid reason.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Yes.
Saying an opinion can never be wrong is the rhetorical equivalent of punting on third down.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
I'm not arguing with you about that. It's just a meaningless semantic debate.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
If I meet a rich woman like Oprah that wants me. I may change my mind on the no kids thing. Lol
Gravy Boat
Member
I don't think anyone has said that it isn't.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
It lets you judge people while simultaneously patting yourself on the back.
Thatonemoor
Member
I fail at baby sitting pets. Ni way I'm bringing a kid into my messed up life lol.
This too. I mean we are not supposed to say that out loud because children are precious creatures and all that jazz. But every single time a person under the age of like 18 talks, I get a severe headache. No joke.
Gravy Boat
Member
Without re reading the thread I can think of 2 posters who have come across as judgemental to those who choose to not have kids, and both were rightly called out by people on both sides.
I haven't done that, yet you choose to call me out for agreeing with people who chose not to have kids on their reasons for not having kids.
You're also ignoring the people who have literally said they're proud to not have kids, and that they pity those who do have kids. Look at the post above this one for similar nonsense. Probably posted by a 20 year old. (Im judging ironically now)
Come on now.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
If your opinion is agreeing that it's selfish to not have kids you're just wrong. There's no reason to even say it other than being judgmental.
That's my exact same situation haha. Like, down to the traveling and the age difference.
Gravy Boat
Member
How can a Persons decision to not have kids be wrong? Get over yourself.
Are you reading some post where I said that selfishness is the only reason to not have kids? Because I never said that.
D
Deleted member 22576
Unconfirmed Member
I think we're like pretty much not gonna make our own but I feel like adoption is on the table. It comes up randomly and I think is pretty much a firm unspoken agreement in our relationship. Idk I'm way young(29) this would be in like 10 years theoretically.
MisterShine
Member
The only objective purpose humans have is to pass on their genes. Also you put tremendously more resources into rearing your children than you will probably ever get out of them. Not a terribly good investment for self-centered individuals.
Edit:
This is painfully naive. People can and do change a lot when they have kids. It makes you see you cant be #1 all the time anymore, it just isn't.
Not for everyone but having a child is generally considered by most to be an immensely important personal milestone.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
I have no idea what you are talking about at this point.
Gravy Boat
Member
Where did I say that selfishness was the only reason to not have kids? Because if I said that and somehow forgot, all your posts would have a point. Otherwise they don't.
It's A reason that plenty of people in this thread have said is THEIR reason. I never said it's the only valid one.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
Reproduction is not really an objective purpose. It's something we humans often do, like eat, and sleep, and love, and shit, but it's not a "purpose".
this is why that vasalgel thing is needed bruh
Just one needle near your junk and you good for 10 years
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
At this point whatever point you are trying to make is straight up incoherent. Stop talking to me.