so you already had trust issues? That's kinda what that sounds like to me (needing to know what your GF is doing on her phone and assuming it's nefarious if it's on her iPhone at 1 AM).
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So I just went on my girlfriends ipad....
- Thread starter OCD Guy
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so you already had trust issues? That's kinda what that sounds like to me (needing to know what your GF is doing on her phone and assuming it's nefarious if it's on her iPhone at 1 AM).
Ah.. I'm so sorry then for casting suspicion since you probably don't need the bs.
Pack her stuff and tell her to go to suck pic when she gets home.
Well, tell me!
That's what I thought, but getting web.whatsapp.com to work on an iPad is apparently as easy as getting it to work on a computer. I'm guessing that's what OP meant when he mentioned WhatsApp.
Shmeagatory94
Member
Like others have said, talk to her when she gets home, hear her side, then make a decision. I would end that shit immediately and kick her out.
Pankratous
Member
Hahahah, absolutely do this.
And leave it next to her suitcase and tell her to get out. You don't even need to hear her side, you've already seen it. She's got to go. No comebacks for this.
Gravy Boat
Member
You need to talk to her before you decide to do anything. It's amazing how many responses there are to just break up with her. That may very well be the end result but I can't imagine why you'd want to do that without at least talking to her about it first like an adult. At the very least she owes you an explination.
wow...
OP. Please listen to me.
This exact same thing happened to me. Confronted my girlfriend about it. She broke down in tears telling me how she seeks attention and there was nothing going on, she just enjoyed the "flirting." I told her this was cheating. She agreed and promised nothing would happen again. Said I could see her phone whenever I wanted.
3 months I continue this damn relationship. Jealousy consumes me and I don't trust the girl I'm with. She ends up not being so open with her phone. Long story short, I find out that after all that she ends up cheating on me. Has sex with another guy. She tries the same shit and I almost fell for it again. I hate myself for continuing that relationship.
It was such a huge mistake. It fucked me up.
Please don't make the same mistake I did.
Legally, she doesn't have to go anywhere and he can't kick her out. So one or the other has to decide on their own to get out of the lease.
I'm confused more than anything, as I said everything was cool my end, I had no reason to suspect anything. I've never been the type to interrogate anyone I'm with, I never say anything when they want to go out etc, I tend to take the apporach that if someone will cheat they'll cheat, and here we are.
Now though I keep looking back to last night, I'm sitting there playing PS4 completely clueless to what she was doing. As I said she doesn't use her ipad to message people, it's usually on the phone, and again it's extremely rare that she's ever texting people at 1am.
I'm not sure what happens with the flat. Obviously I'm in the UK and I imagine many of you are in the US so it's likely different.
We both split the initial deposit and rent advance, I'd obviously want that back but if she still lives there then that won't happen.
I'll obviously need to contact the lettings agency to find out, but as you can imagine that's not something I want to do now.
No, it's not innocent or common.
I'd drop that chick hard, and possibly drop the iPad from the roof
You should wait and demand a explanation from her, just so you never look back at this and regret not having listened her before kicking her out. But I would definitely kick her out
dude
dude
SynthFetish
Member
Wait for her to come homes and have a conversation, here's some starters:
"So, do lots of dudes send you dick pics while you flirt with them?
"Would you like me to be the one sending you dick pics?"
"Would you like to watch porn while we have sex?"
"So, do lots of dudes send you dick pics while you flirt with them?
"Would you like me to be the one sending you dick pics?"
"Would you like to watch porn while we have sex?"
Then that's still not a healthy relationship, and OP should still be walking.
nortonff
Hi, I'm nortonff. I spend my life going into threads to say that I don't care about the topic of the thread. It's a really good use of my time.
This is not being jealous
Dynamite Shikoku
Congratulations, you really deserve it!
wait a minute, that penis came from inside the house...
BattleMonkey
Member
Contact your leasing office, if you want out, ask about it, see if there is a penalty to get off the contract. Often it's nothing more than having to pay one month's rent to get off a lease for an apartment. Get off it, leave her the burden if you want to leave.
Can you afford the rent by yourself? Can she?
Put her shit out. Tell her to find somewhere else to stay.
Do they?
So you'd be ok with that?
I couldn't afford where I'm at now (neither can she though). We got this place because we could afford it together so we went for something more expensive.
Fahzgoolin
Banned
You're an adult, OP, not a teenager, so don't do any of the petty shit advised here.
Take screen caps of the entire conversation and the dick pic and send them to yourself. Keep that as a record of what happened. Once you're clear of the relationship, delete it. You want to screen cap it so she can't delete it and make excuses.
When she gets home, have an adult, non-passive-aggressive conversation about it. Tell her the truth about how you found the texts, ask her what it's all about, and tell her that it violates your trust, and you aren't comfortable continuing the relationship.
You guys are on the lease together, so that's messy, but how long is your lease? If it's ending soon, perhaps you can ride out the lease together, then one of you doesn't renew it. I know you were wronged, but if you want to break as cleanly as possible, do whatever's easier. If she agrees to move, good. If she doesn't agree to move, you move, and then never speak to her again. Do that either way. The point is that you don't want to drag this out more than necessary. Another option is maybe talking to the landlord and explaining the situation, and maybe the lease agreement can be amended in whatever way you guys choose.
I know the bros want to tell you that she should be the one to move, fuck her, etc etc, but in my age, I think it's best to try and resolve it as smoothly as possible so you can get to the "moving on and putting her in the past" part quickly. You moving out doesn't mean she "won," or got over on you somehow. Her moving out doesn't mean you "won." You're adults. You just want to get out of this relationship as cleanly as possible. Good luck!
Take screen caps of the entire conversation and the dick pic and send them to yourself. Keep that as a record of what happened. Once you're clear of the relationship, delete it. You want to screen cap it so she can't delete it and make excuses.
When she gets home, have an adult, non-passive-aggressive conversation about it. Tell her the truth about how you found the texts, ask her what it's all about, and tell her that it violates your trust, and you aren't comfortable continuing the relationship.
You guys are on the lease together, so that's messy, but how long is your lease? If it's ending soon, perhaps you can ride out the lease together, then one of you doesn't renew it. I know you were wronged, but if you want to break as cleanly as possible, do whatever's easier. If she agrees to move, good. If she doesn't agree to move, you move, and then never speak to her again. Do that either way. The point is that you don't want to drag this out more than necessary. Another option is maybe talking to the landlord and explaining the situation, and maybe the lease agreement can be amended in whatever way you guys choose.
I know the bros want to tell you that she should be the one to move, fuck her, etc etc, but in my age, I think it's best to try and resolve it as smoothly as possible so you can get to the "moving on and putting her in the past" part quickly. You moving out doesn't mean she "won," or got over on you somehow. Her moving out doesn't mean you "won." You're adults. You just want to get out of this relationship as cleanly as possible. Good luck!
Dash_Riprock
Member
Ugh terrible way to find out about an affair. I'm sorry OP.
Why are people so shit when it comes to their phone privacy? How are people this stupid? ESPECIALLY when they have something to hide?
Why are people so shit when it comes to their phone privacy? How are people this stupid? ESPECIALLY when they have something to hide?
Maybe she left the app open purposefully, or subconsciously on purpose or whatever call it.
Probably not, but something to consider.
Gravy Boat
Member
Its literally illegal for him to do that. They're both tennants on a shared lease, he has no right to kick her out.
PeskyToaster
Member
Well first of all you should make sure you have the evidence in case legal stuff is involved. Hopefully you guys haven't kept your finances too intertwined. If you're both on the lease then you can't really make her move out, right? And you might still be obligated to pay unless you can get out of the agreement.
They absolutely don't.
If they do, they aren't ready for a serious relationship and you shouldn't waste your time.
Polioliolio
Member
What explanation could she possibly give that is going to be satisfactory? This is a window to regret. There's no good closure to cheating no matter how you explain it. Plus, if there really was a good explanation and she's sorry, she'll fight for the relationship even after OP breaks up with her.
PrivateWHudson
Member
Good advice. OP should definitely spend the day tying up loose ends. Even if he wants to wait until she gets home for closure, he should have the car packed up and be ready to walk at a moments notice.
demosthenes
Member
Hmm, I'm going with no?
Send her an eviction notice on WhatsApp
Darryl M R
Member
Are we all sharing now?
I was in a relationship with someone that flirted online with guys. Wasn't worth it. You get paranoid and you don't trust the person--for obvious reason. Eventually got cheated on *kanye shrug*.
When I finally ended the relationship I was so focused on bettering myself both academically (I was in college), physically (gym), and mentally (reading, learning enjoy the art of doing nothing).
I went from so skinny black college student to being pretty athletic looking.
Found a new girl and turned down others before her. All because of the iron OP. That iron bar will never forsake you. Squat with it, deadlift with it, bench with it. Use it to move on.
Seriously when you focus on yourself bumps like this in life are so much easier to manage.
Wishing you well.
Edit:
Make sure it is an actual convo OP. I'm not familiar with What'sApp but I can be on reddit and some dude's Johnson might appear on my screen. And hey since it's already on my screen I might as well slow my scrolling riiiight?
I was in a relationship with someone that flirted online with guys. Wasn't worth it. You get paranoid and you don't trust the person--for obvious reason. Eventually got cheated on *kanye shrug*.
When I finally ended the relationship I was so focused on bettering myself both academically (I was in college), physically (gym), and mentally (reading, learning enjoy the art of doing nothing).
I went from so skinny black college student to being pretty athletic looking.
Found a new girl and turned down others before her. All because of the iron OP. That iron bar will never forsake you. Squat with it, deadlift with it, bench with it. Use it to move on.
Seriously when you focus on yourself bumps like this in life are so much easier to manage.
Wishing you well.
Edit:
Make sure it is an actual convo OP. I'm not familiar with What'sApp but I can be on reddit and some dude's Johnson might appear on my screen. And hey since it's already on my screen I might as well slow my scrolling riiiight?
Ninja Scooter
Member
Have sex with this guy before she does.
I bet a standoff will happen. A lot of staring.
Hard to trust again, isn't it? Sorry this happened to you.
It's just step one. Then you make her really uncomfortable until she leaves on her own.
He already said he can't afford it, though.
Team Filler
Member
You absolutely need to kick her the fuck out, but before that you should message the guy in whatsapp back while pretending to be her and say that you're, "freaking out because an old boyfriend just told me he had HIV while we were together."
Gravy Boat
Member
I just don't see how not-talking is better than talking in any relationship issue. What's he got to lose?
This is the best idea. Ideally without telling her what you discovered before she sees it.
FallingEdge
Member
How long have you two been together?
yup. Its almost like physical domestic abuse. the first time they hit you will never ever be the last time. Just have to cut it off. I know for me? my ego is not strong enough to be cheated on and I would rather just leave than ever trying to work stuff out. They clearly do no respect you or the bond you all agreed to.
I'll reiterate OP.
You should confront her, tell her what you found. But no matter what she says, you should break up with her.
Liars, when confronted with their lies, will create more lies to cover it up. It will only end up hurting you in the end. This is a lesson I learned the hard way. I was naive and believed that people that loved me were honest.
You should confront her, tell her what you found. But no matter what she says, you should break up with her.
Liars, when confronted with their lies, will create more lies to cover it up. It will only end up hurting you in the end. This is a lesson I learned the hard way. I was naive and believed that people that loved me were honest.
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