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Leave a wallpaper of your dick on her ipad.

All the best.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Confront her brother about it

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Call her out on her bullshit.

She will play the "yea well I'm angry you went through my iPad!!!!"

Do not get off the fact that she's sexting with dudes. Personally I'd leave her. If she entertaining that type of bullshitnits only a matter of time.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

You need to talk to her before you decide to do anything. It's amazing how many responses there are to just break up with her. That may very well be the end result but I can't imagine why you'd want to do that without at least talking to her about it first like an adult. At the very least she owes you an explination.

There's got to be a reasonable explanation for why she is trying to get some side dick

 

[Numb]

Maybe it's her brother. Don't jump to conclusions OP. Confront her.

dude

duuuuuude

 

[Gravy Boat]

It's just step one. Then you make her really uncomfortable until she leaves on her own.

He already said he can't afford it, though.

That's illegal too. He can't pressure her to leave by making her uncomfortable or otherwise. Tenancy agreements in the UK are super strict. I had to live with my exgirlfriend for 9 months after we broke up.

There's got to be a reasonable explanation for why she is trying to get some side dick

Where did I say that? I said at the least she owes him an explination, not that there's a reasonable explination for what she did.

 

[Jarate]

1) Find a pic of the nastiest Vagina you can find, and send it to him implying it was hers
2) Talk to her like a normal human being
3) If it bothers you a lot then dump her, if it doesnt bother you that much, then talk it out and make ground rules on the relationship

 

[Apathy]

It's never simple flirting. One the fact she's getting dick pics and two, most importantly, she's in a fuckingv relationship already, you don't have non innocent flirting conversations with other people.

 

[BokehKing]

Find a memorable quote from that chat log and hit her with it as soon as she gets home

Btw, have your shit packed because she will probably be super defensive cause she got caught.

 

[d9b]

OP. Please listen to me.

This exact same thing happened to me. Confronted my girlfriend about it. She broke down in tears telling me how she seeks attention and there was nothing going on, she just enjoyed the "flirting." I told her this was cheating. She agreed and promised nothing would happen again. Said I could see her phone whenever I wanted.

3 months I continue this damn relationship. Jealousy consumes me and I don't trust the girl I'm with. She ends up not being so open with her phone. Long story short, I find out that after all that she ends up cheating on me. Has sex with another guy. She tries the same shit and I almost fell for it again. I hate myself for continuing that relationship.

It was such a huge mistake. It fucked me up.

Please don't make the same mistake I did.

This! OP it's time to move on.

 

[ClosingADoor]

That's illegal too. He can't pressure her to leave by making her uncomfortable or otherwise. Tenancy agreements in the UK are super strict. I had to live with my exgirlfriend for 9 months after we broke up.

Depends on her reaction. If you just say "I expect you to move out" and she goes along with it, what's the issue.

 

[ChrisRT]

Just leave. If it smells and swims like a fish, it's a fish. Why do so many guys try to look for answers or justify this type of shit? The fact that something like this is going on, have some self respect and leave. Just disappear. You don't need trash like that in your life.
There are way better ladies out there for you.

 

[| Praxis |]

Are you sure it wasn't Pokemon Go?

 

[Shadybiz]

Talk to her about it.

Then pack it up and go.

There is no coming back from something like this, best just to end the relationship.

 

[weekev]

I'm confused more than anything, as I said everything was cool my end, I had no reason to suspect anything. I've never been the type to interrogate anyone I'm with, I never say anything when they want to go out etc, I tend to take the apporach that if someone will cheat they'll cheat, and here we are.

Now though I keep looking back to last night, I'm sitting there playing PS4 completely clueless to what she was doing. As I said she doesn't use her ipad to message people, it's usually on the phone, and again it's extremely rare that she's ever texting people at 1am.



I'm not sure what happens with the flat. Obviously I'm in the UK and I imagine many of you are in the US so it's likely different.

We both split the initial deposit and rent advance, I'd obviously want that back but if she still lives there then that won't happen.

I'll obviously need to contact the lettings agency to find out, but as you can imagine that's not something I want to do now.

If it's a letting agency and your both on the lease I'm sure they will give her notice period to either find a new roomy or find a flat elsewhere. Sorry man but this relationship is over.

 

[OCD Guy]

You're an adult, OP, not a teenager, so don't do any of the petty shit advised here.

Take screen caps of the entire conversation and the dick pic and send them to yourself. Keep that as a record of what happened.

When she gets home, have an adult, non-passive conversation about it. Tell her the truth about how you found the texts, ask her what it's all about, and tell her that it violates your trust, and you aren't comfortable continuing the relationship.

You guys are on the lease together, so that's messy, but how long is your lease? If it's ending soon, perhaps you can ride out the lease together, then one of you doesn't renew it. I know you were wronged, but if you want to break as cleanly as possible, do whatever's easier. If she agrees to move, good. If she doesn't agree to move, you move, and then never speak to her again. Do that either way. The point is that you don't want to drag this out more than necessary. Another option is maybe talking to the landlord and explaining the situation, and maybe the lease agreement can be amended in whatever way you guys choose.

I know the bros want to tell you that she should be the one to move, fuck her, etc etc, but in my age, I think it's best to try and resolve it as smoothly as possible so you can get to the "moving on and putting her in the past" part quickly. You moving out doesn't mean she "won," or got over on you somehow. Her moving out doesn't mean you "won." You're adults. You just want to get out of this relationship as cleanly as possible. Good luck!

Normally I'd be pretty calm. As I said, I'm not one to be possessive or controlling.

At the end of the day if someone is that way inclined they're going to do it regardless.

As I said right now, I'm still deciding what to do, to be honest I don't really care about the who's what's why's. There's no trust there for me, and there's no way I could just go back to things as this time round I would be paranoid, and every time she'd have the ipad out I'd want to know what she was doing, and the moment it start going down that road all you're gonna do is argue.

I'm kinda tempted to send her a message along the lines of "Seeing as you like dicks so much" and sending her a picture of my dick. She'll know straight away that I know.

 

[entremet]

This is why you need a side piece, OP.

 

[Squalor]

O.P., have a woman over when she gets home. Hop on Tinder with the quickness.

That's illegal too. He can't pressure her to leave by making her uncomfortable or otherwise. Tenancy agreements in the UK are super strict. I had to live with my exgirlfriend for 9 months after we broke up.

Being a shitty roommate isn't grounds for illegality. That's pretty simple. Make her uncomfortable until she leaves.

 

[Monocle]

But what if the other guy is bigger? Too risky.

I'm pretty sure that Photoshop's puppet warp tool was invented for the express purpose of helping people enhance their dickpics.

 

[Jarate]

.

 

[Hoo-doo]

There's got to be a reasonable explanation for why she is trying to get some side dick

Does there have to be?

She got flirted on and instead of deflecting she engaged and kept the convo going admiring this dude's dick. That doesn't mean she went seeking it out, just that she's not committed to the relationship and not worth your time.

 

[Darryl M R]

This is why you need a side piece, OP.

I rather be a side piece to a loyal person than the significant other to someone that cheats on me constantly.

 

[Staccat0]

Why the fuck do edgy nerds insist on trying to rub salt in the wounds in threads like this?

I'm sorry OP. I honestly think it warrants a conversation. Even if you've made up your mind it might be something more complicated.

Not to say you should consider staying with her, but more that you can get closure and make sure it isn't a weird string of confusion.

 

[ChaosZeroX]

You need to talk to her before you decide to do anything. It's amazing how many responses there are to just break up with her. That may very well be the end result but I can't imagine why you'd want to do that without at least talking to her about it first like an adult. At the very least she owes you an explination.

Sure he should talk to her, but regardless of the outcome of that conversation, OP needs to get out of that relationship. Trust is long gone.

 

[FyreWulff]

I'd just break up. Yeah, you might lose deposit money, but consider that money well spent to get away from a toxic relationship.

 

[BokehKing]

Make the picture of dudes dick her iPad wallpaper and Microsoft paint some herpes on that shit

 

[Kill Your Masters]

Being a shitty roommate isn't grounds for illegality. That's pretty simple. Make her uncomfortable until she leaves.

Redecorate all rooms with dick-wallpapers.

I was in a similar situtation op. She may blame you not only for "snooping" but also for flirting around. If she does, do not believe any of that BS.

Just try and keep a cool head throughout.

 

[OCD Guy]

OP. Please listen to me.

This exact same thing happened to me. Confronted my girlfriend about it. She broke down in tears telling me how she seeks attention and there was nothing going on, she just enjoyed the "flirting." I told her this was cheating. She agreed and promised nothing would happen again. Said I could see her phone whenever I wanted.

3 months I continue this damn relationship. Jealousy consumes me and I don't trust the girl I'm with. She ends up not being so open with her phone. Long story short, I find out that after all that she ends up cheating on me. Has sex with another guy. She tries the same shit and I almost fell for it again. I hate myself for continuing that relationship.

It was such a huge mistake. It fucked me up.

Please don't make the same mistake I did.

That's exactly why it's done now for me. I'd never be able to relax each time she picked the ipad up.

The thing is this is out of nowhere. No change in pattern, no devices hidden, nothing.

 

[SlimySnake]

say nothing, pack my stuff and leave.

There you go. Set up a counseling session with a therapist, pay the $20 copay and let it all out. Then go about living your life. Cut her off completely.

 

[JawzPause]

Make sure that when you talk to her about this that you seem chill. When you end things with her act like you don't give a fuck (even if you do). It will throw her off and it will give you the last laugh. Getting cheated on isn't good for you mentally so if you act like you don't care then it'll throw her off and she'll probably try to get back with you. When she does you should have moved on by then and you won't be thinking about her anymore.

I know this from experience.

I know people might disagree with this advice as it may be considered mind games but i find that this way you'll feel better mentally faster.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Depends on her reaction. If you just say "I expect you to move out" and she goes along with it, what's the issue.

There isn't one, but that's super unlikely to happen. It's way more likely that she'll turn around and go 'why should I be the one to move out?'. Then what?

O.P., have a woman over when she gets home. Hop on Tinder with the quickness.

Being a shitty roommate isn't grounds for illegality. That's pretty simple. Make her uncomfortable until she leaves.

If she can prove you're purposely making her uncomfortable in order to make her leave, she can report you to the landlord and housing authority, which could potentially get you evicted without getting your deposit back. It's also not that simple. Even if either person wanted to leave, most tennacy agreements don't let you just pack up and move out on a whim. My agreement, for example, says I need to give at least 2 months notice and to find someone else to take over the remainder of the lease, and our landlord is super casual.

 

[Squalor]

There you go. Set up a counseling session with a therapist, pay the $20 copay and let it all out. Then go about living your life. Cut her off completely.

Except he can't on a shared lease.

If she can prove you're purposely making her uncomfortable in order to make her leave, she can report you to the landlord and housing authority, which could potentially get you eviceted without getting your deposit back.

Uh, he can do the same fucking thing because she's a cheating asshole?

Also, who gives a fuck? If he can get off the lease, that's the best thing for him. His awful soon-to-be-ex is stuck with rent she can't pay.

Are you even paying attention? The fuck?

 

[Machina]

Hahahah, absolutely do this.

And leave it next to her suitcase and tell her to get out. You don't even need to hear her side, you've already seen it. She's got to go. No comebacks for this.

Yep, do this. Even prop the iPad up with something then set it so the screen doesn't dim. She will see the dick sitting there like it's been framed then when she awkwardly stumbles over her initial words out of shock, tell her to just shut up, take her stuff and get out.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

This is my feeling as well. Either she's ridiculously careless or she wanted to end the relationship and didn't know how.

People can be bafflingly careless with their masturbatory material, because you aren't exactly in your right state of mind.

Sorry for that mental image OP. Can't say I'd look forward to the conversation ya'll are gonna have. Better to find out now than 3 months down the road is the best way to think about it.

 

[Zombine]

A clean break is necessary for you to move forward positively. Don't be super salty either. The best way to get back at her is to calmly tell her what you saw by accent, and that your bond is broken and that you're moving on. Don't yell, name call, or stoop to some childish level. Just let her know you're done and that she can go on someplace.

 

[ClivePwned]

you can't trust this person. bail out

 

[Slurpy2k20]

Oh yeah I want to make it clear that I wasn't snooping. I use her ipad infront of her all time. There's only one ipad in the house and it's often quicker than firing up the laptop.

As I said there's been no change at all, and we've been getting on fine. In the past I've had reasons to believe things have been going on (in previous relationships I mean)

I'm actually sitting here typing this on the laptop with the ipad next to me, and just looking at the pictures and I'm fucking getting more and more pissed off. But I know if I call I'll shout and she'll hang up which will piss me off more. She'll then likely keep diverting me when I keep calling back

How big of a moron is your girlfriend, to have these kinds of convos on a SHARED iPad to which you know the passcode? Unless she wanted you to see it? Makes zero sense.

 

[entremet]

I rather be a side piece to a loyal person than the significant other to someone that cheats on me constantly.

I was being facetious.

 

[nortonff]

Just make sure you talk to her, OP. It's better to leave with a clear mind and not with dozens of doubts troubling you.

 

[Gnome Scat]

need more details about the convo

having random flirty online chats with dick pics flying around are not that big of a deal. most girls do that

In what world?

 

[btags]

You're an adult, OP, not a teenager, so don't do any of the petty shit advised here.

Take screen caps of the entire conversation and the dick pic and send them to yourself. Keep that as a record of what happened.

When she gets home, have an adult, non-passive conversation about it. Tell her the truth about how you found the texts, ask her what it's all about, and tell her that it violates your trust, and you aren't comfortable continuing the relationship.

You guys are on the lease together, so that's messy, but how long is your lease? If it's ending soon, perhaps you can ride out the lease together, then one of you doesn't renew it. I know you were wronged, but if you want to break as cleanly as possible, do whatever's easier. If she agrees to move, good. If she doesn't agree to move, you move, and then never speak to her again. Do that either way. The point is that you don't want to drag this out more than necessary. Another option is maybe talking to the landlord and explaining the situation, and maybe the lease agreement can be amended in whatever way you guys choose.

I know the bros want to tell you that she should be the one to move, fuck her, etc etc, but in my age, I think it's best to try and resolve it as smoothly as possible so you can get to the "moving on and putting her in the past" part quickly. You moving out doesn't mean she "won," or got over on you somehow. Her moving out doesn't mean you "won." You're adults. You just want to get out of this relationship as cleanly as possible. Good luck!

Do this. This is the most mature way to handle this and the best way to move on.

 

[Vire]

Talk to her first, but ultimately end it with telling her to pack her shit up and get the fuck out. No need for that foolishness in your life, don't bend over backwards for this girl.

 

[Markoman]

Normally I'd be pretty calm. As I said, I'm not one to be possessive or controlling.

At the end of the day if someone is that way inclined they're going to do it regardless.

As I said right now, I'm still deciding what to do, to be honest I don't really care about the who's what's why's. There's no trust there for me, and there's no way I could just go back to things as this time round I would be paranoid, and every time she'd have the ipad out I'd want to know what she was doing, and the moment it start going down that road all you're gonna do is argue.

I'm kinda tempted to send her a message along the lines of "Seeing as you like dicks so much" and sending her a picture of my dick. She'll know straight away that I know.

Nah man, that's stupid. What is your grand price here? You know what'll make her go running in circles? Not knowing what the hell is going on! Cut off all communication!

 

[nilbog21]

It's over OP, I'm sorry. Trust is an integral part of a healthy relationship and if she is attention seeking she will always be into that. Unless you're into that kind of stuff I guess..

 

[Zen_Arcade]

need more details about the convo

having random flirty online chats with dick pics flying around are not that big of a deal. most girls do that

If you let women do that while they're dating you than you're the textbook definition of a doormat.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Except he can't on a shared lease.

Uh, he can do the same fucking thing because she's a cheating asshole?

Also, who gives a fuck? If he can get off the lease, that's the best thing for him. His awful soon-to-be-ex is stuck with rent she can't pay.

Are you even paying attention? The fuck?

Yes, you don't understand how tennacy agreements work. Wether or not their relationship has broken down has absolutely nothing with their tennancy agreement. Her cheating has nothing to do with them. Him making her uncomfortable in her own home absolutely does. Neither of them can just pack up and leave. That's not how contracts work.

 

[OCD Guy]

I just want to make clear that there's no debate at all with regards to me staying with her.

I'm done, I'm just angry as I said, and trying to decide the best way forward. I don't even want a confrontation as it's not going to change anything.

I've got lots of questions in my head though, but not sure I want to know the answers.

Has she done this before, how many times, has she slept with anyone behind my back, what did I do wrong, is he better looking than me, is my dick not good enough, why are you a cunt. I know she hasn't slept with this guy based on the conversation and her response to the picture.

But in the end, even if I knew the answers to those questions it's not going to change anything....

 

[ant_]

That's exactly why it's done now for me. I'd never be able to relax each time she picked the ipad up.

The thing is this is out of nowhere. No change in pattern, no devices hidden, nothing.

It was absolute torture dude. I didn't realize it at the time, I loved the girl and wanted to make things work. But looking back on my habits and how literally 90% of my thought and time was dedicated to my girlfriend and wondering if I could trust her. I didn't trust her a single time she picked up an electronic device. It consumed me and stressed me out. It affected my job and my health.

I realize I'm probably an extreme case. But the truth is clear; when trust is gone, a relationship can no longer be had. She fucked up. Doesn't matter her intentions, you need to end the relationship.

Mine was completely out of nowhere too. This was a girl that said how much she loved me, wanted to be with me the rest of her life, her entire family loved me, etc. It came completely out of the blue and shellshocked me which is why I gave her a second chance.

I regret the second chance.

 

[Darryl M R]

I was being facetious.

I know. I now assume you haven't ran across that dank meme (my quoted post).

 

[Geist-]

I can't tell if Neogaf members just tend to be the jealous, petty type or that's just the kind of people that decide it's a good idea to post advice in a thread about relationship trouble.

Have an adult conversation, don't do anything petty, and decide on a course of action together since you share a lease.

Personally though, I just can't imagine getting so worked up over some texts. I admit I haven't seen what they say, maybe she insults OPs dick size or something, but being flirty with a guy on WhatsApp is ≠ to the actual act of cheating in my eyes.

But I guess if OP is really pissed about it, ending the relationship is probably the best course of action.