• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Accepting your lot in life

Celcius

°Temp. member
No matter how hard we work, most of us won’t become billionaires. No matter hard much we train, most of us won’t make it to the NBA. Most car enthusiasts will never sit in a Bugatti Veyron, let alone ever own one. Many people want to make a difference in the world but the fact is that most of us probably won’t be remembered 200 years from now for inventing a cancer cure.

When we’re younger we’re told that if we work hard then we can do anything or be anything we want to, but for various reasons eventually everyone hits limits in life.

Was this a hard thing for you to accept? Do you believe that you really can achieve anything if you put your mind to it? Are you in the middle of a mid-life crisis right now? I would be curious to hear GAF’s thoughts on coming to terms with what you can and can’t do in life.
 

SJRB

Gold Member
I'm sure many realized quite early on that they would never be a millionaire.

The problem is that even the most fundamental and basic things in life like, you know, being able to buy a house and start a family seems out of reach for many, which is definitely something I didn't foresee when I was growing up.
 
Last edited:

jason10mm

Gold Member
Being a millionaire is 100% achievable in a normal working lifetime. A Billionaire is just excess, at what point has total financial satiation occurred and we are FAR past the point of diminishing returns on happiness?

But really, you are playing the wrong game if you think this way.

1. Find a good woman and love her
2. Raise a couple of decent little humans
3. Drink a good Belgian beer once a month
4. Build something with your own hands at least twice a year
5. Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentation of dah....you get the idea.

Being happy with life is primarily an internal struggle. I guarantee there are Billionaires right now sweating and stressing far more than a welfare queen, it's all about mindset.
 

kurisu_1974

is on perm warning for being a low level troll
81c4efba0a0179d80dd11f872d56bd8a.png
 

nush

Member
Just set realistic and personal goals. Do you really want to be a millionaire or just be able to pay bills, have money to save and buy a few nice things?
 

jufonuk

not tag worthy
I know money is needed to live. But I get to do some cool things just not as lavish as rich people.

I’m happy as I got an amazing wife and kids.

I think a certain level of money gets you peace of mind but over that amount, mo money mo problems

Also just been made redundant from my work so lol. My views might change regards to money.
I work to live not live to to work.
 
Last edited:

Puscifer

Member
No matter how hard we work, most of us won’t become billionaires. No matter hard much we train, most of us won’t make it to the NBA. Most car enthusiasts will never sit in a Bugatti Veyron, let alone ever own one. Many people want to make a difference in the world but the fact is that most of us probably won’t be remembered 200 years from now for inventing a cancer cure.

When we’re younger we’re told that if we work hard then we can do anything or be anything we want to, but for various reasons eventually everyone hits limits in life.

Was this a hard thing for you to accept? Do you believe that you really can achieve anything if you put your mind to it? Are you in the middle of a mid-life crisis right now? I would be curious to hear GAF’s thoughts on coming to terms with what you can and can’t do in life.
I'm gonna be that guy here for a second.

1.) No one likes people who ware pitiable and whiny. I'll never not say you'll be a millionaire, but you can hone your talents and work to the best of your ability. One reality I'll say is this, a lot of people aren't the matches for the career fields they go into and you see this a lot in IT. I know a guy who after 3 years still can't get an A+ certification which blows my fucking mind!

Then again, there's people who can do amazingly at jobs like plumbing, nursing, electric work, fiber optic wiring, or even shockingly, starting their own business, and just don't want to do that because it's manual labor or they're scared to go out on their own and the people who embraced it are in some ways doing better financially than me.

Too many are trying to fit in where they're tolerated and not celebrated. I found my calling being a military contractor, something about it clicked with me and I'm NOT ever going anywhere. A lot of times being the best you and giving it your all is likely not where you're meant to be and that leads to these feelings you have.

2.) Also, don't assume that some of these billionaires //millionaires and whatnot are actually rich. COVID showed how many of them were desperate enough to do whatever they could to maintain that lifestyle. These people aren't buying hundreds of fast food franchises and whatnot for nothing. Scott Adams, the Dilbert creator, who famously said he has "fuck you" money after his incident made some very public moves that signaled that his private tennis court wasn't going to pay for itself because suddenly you need a monthly subscription for Dilbert archival that was available for free and his free streams are now behind a paywall because in his own words "I don't know how to financially recover from this" And I seriously doubt the guys on Top Gear could even afford to rent those cars without the BBCs backing on their own.
 
Last edited:

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
I’m happy where I am. Ya I can do better with a better higher job and a hot wife, but I’m fine with what I’ve achieved.

It gets to a point in life you kinda know where you’ll shake out.

People also got to be realistic. No matter how hard someone tries, some people just aren’t meant to be rich and famous and have the best job or most beautiful wife with the greatest kids. You just got to accept where you are in life given your situation and effort.

The whole “you can be anything dream” is the biggest crock of shit ever said to anyone. Especially as students. Because not everyone is cut out to be anything and achieve everything out there. It’s sometimes better to aim for something achievable. Just look at the stories you hear about people still crusading to be pro athletes while working a min wage job. It gets to a point to just focus on a better career like my coworker who grew up playing organized hockey (he shows up in google checks). But at like age 20 he said fuck it got a business degree and now at age around 40-45 is VP of Sales.
 
Last edited:

Mossybrew

Member
I've always found it easy to accept. Even as a kid I had no goals or ambitions, never knew what I wanted to "be when I grew up", never wanted to be rich or famous. I have a steady job that pays the bills, and my kids bring a lot of meaning and joy to my life, so I'm fine.
 
Last edited:

sono

Gold Member
from scratch assuming you are not from a wealthy family

one recipe:

when you are young fresh out of college get a reasonably paid job (e.g any IT job) and a short term mortgage max 6 years ideally less, on a cheap two bed property. rent out the second room to a lodger while living in it and working put all your money into paying that off as fast as possible lodger helps your income do that. If you work in IT you can live anywhere so go where the right property area is for your first and second

when it is paid off get the next property and rent that out while still living in the first, and so on until you have several

property is the way to build wealth with moderate effort and lower (but some) risk while working for someone else,

buy cheap properties with short term mortgages that dont need a lot of work, esp when you are starting out so care needed here when starting

dont get large credit except for mortgages

eventually if you are careful you will be very wealthy and can stop working for someone else so you can put more time into your growing property empire

the stock market isnt going to make you rich, it is a casino

oh and dont get married until you are 40s unless you find someone who is very rich, focus on wealth creation first

property is always required by everyone

think with your head not with your heart for money matters

alternatively inherit or marry into big money

you can do this even when older, it is just you havent got so long to build wealth.

just an idea..
 

MikeM

Member
I’m happy with my life.

- two great young kids
- decent roof over our heads with equity
- have a job where I can afford my family, some investments, pension and my hobbies (gym, gaming)
- have work/life balance

I don’t need to be a millionaire to feel happy especially in today’s world where simply breaking at the end of the month even is an achievement in itself.
 

jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
from scratch assuming you are not from a wealthy family

one recipe:

when you are young fresh out of college get a reasonably paid job (e.g any IT job) and a short term mortgage max 6 years ideally less, on a cheap two bed property. rent out the second room to a lodger while living in it and working put all your money into paying that off as fast as possible lodger helps your income do that. If you work in IT you can live anywhere so go where the right property area is for your first and second

when it is paid off get the next property and rent that out while still living in the first, and so on until you have several

property is the way to build wealth with moderate effort and lower (but some) risk while working for someone else,

buy cheap properties with short term mortgages that dont need a lot of work, esp when you are starting out so care needed here when starting

dont get large credit except for mortgages

eventually if you are careful you will be very wealthy and can stop working for someone else so you can put more time into your growing property empire

the stock market isnt going to make you rich, it is a casino

oh and dont get married until you are 40s unless you find someone who is very rich, focus on wealth creation first

property is always required by everyone

think with your head not with your heart for money matters

alternatively inherit or marry into big money

you can do this even when older, it is just you havent got so long to build wealth.

just an idea..
US centric, but:

This might have worked 5+ years ago, but this is entirely unrealistic advice these days. Entry level IT jobs, even those that require a college degree, will not pay you nearly enough money to be able to afford a two bedroom property with a six-year mortgage anywhere in the United States. "If you work in IT, you can live anywhere" was true from 2020-2022, but now a lot of the fully remote jobs are drying up and, like most things of this nature, companies are realizing they can fill these positions just as easily overseas paying much, much less. Additionally, since you said "not from a wealthy family", that means your student loans are going to absolutely crush you for the first 10-15 years of your career.

The average home price in the US is $346k. Even if you made $100k a year, and somehow don't have any other debts, the best mortgage you're going to get (without a significant down payment) will be a 15-year loan on a $275k house (based on your debt-to-income ratio, what the banks will lend, interest rates, etc.). It would require an incredibly lucky sequence of events for someone fresh out of college to pull off what you've described above.

"When it is paid off get the next property and rent that out while still living in the first" is, at best and under ideal conditions, achievable for someone out of school today by the time they're 40. "Eventually you will be very wealthy and can stop working" is probably not possible in the US right now in a single lifetime. Meanwhile, you've devoted your entire life to generating material weatlh, rather than looking for a mate or raising a family.

The sad reality is that because of rising housing prices, a squeezed housing market, a strained labor market, and systemic issues with our education and healthcare systems; homeownership of any kind is well outside the realm of possibility for young people these days. Even the most motivated or lucky ones that can somehow score a free education (scholarships) and avoid any major medical issues will ultimately be trapped without the ability to build wealth through property.

For my kid's sake, I hope something changes soon.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
99% of humans over the course of civilization have lived in abject poverty with virtually zero agency. You are the 1%, a tremendous gift. You can choose your partner, your career, where you live, what to do with your money, and what you want out of life. Furthermore, being famous is absolutely horrible. People you've never met resent you and plot your downfall, think they know you, obsess over you. Legacy also means nothing when you're dead. Aim for carving out a decent, balanced, lagom kind of life. That's the real way to win.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
Baz luhrmann

Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself
“Never did I trust Fortune, even when she seemed to be offering peace. All those blessings which she kindly bestowed on me – money, public office, influence – I relegated to a place from which she could take them back without disturbing me. Between them and me, I have kept a wide gap, and so she has merely taken them, not torn them from me.”

“Remember that all we have is “on loan” from Fortune, which can reclaim it without our permission—indeed, without even advance notice. Thus, we should love all our dear ones, but always with the thought that we have no promise that we may keep them forever—nay, no promise even that we may keep them for long.”

-Seneca
 

Days like these...

Have a Blessed Day
US centric, but:

This might have worked 5+ years ago, but this is entirely unrealistic advice these days. Entry level IT jobs, even those that require a college degree, will not pay you nearly enough money to be able to afford a two bedroom property with a six-year mortgage anywhere in the United States. "If you work in IT, you can live anywhere" was true from 2020-2022, but now a lot of the fully remote jobs are drying up and, like most things of this nature, companies are realizing they can fill these positions just as easily overseas paying much, much less. Additionally, since you said "not from a wealthy family", that means your student loans are going to absolutely crush you for the first 10-15 years of your career.

The average home price in the US is $346k. Even if you made $100k a year, and somehow don't have any other debts, the best mortgage you're going to get (without a significant down payment) will be a 15-year loan on a $275k house (based on your debt-to-income ratio, what the banks will lend, interest rates, etc.). It would require an incredibly lucky sequence of events for someone fresh out of college to pull off what you've described above.

"When it is paid off get the next property and rent that out while still living in the first" is, at best and under ideal conditions, achievable for someone out of school today by the time they're 40. "Eventually you will be very wealthy and can stop working" is probably not possible in the US right now in a single lifetime. Meanwhile, you've devoted your entire life to generating material weatlh, rather than looking for a mate or raising a family.

The sad reality is that because of rising housing prices, a squeezed housing market, a strained labor market, and systemic issues with our education and healthcare systems; homeownership of any kind is well outside the realm of possibility for young people these days. Even the most motivated or lucky ones that can somehow score a free education (scholarships) and avoid any major medical issues will ultimately be trapped without the ability to build wealth through property.

For my kid's sake, I hope something changes soon.
Work on your mindset you're awfully negative and pessimistic. I bought a house. I don't have schooling or a career. Mortgage loan is 3%
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
99% of humans over the course of civilization have lived in abject poverty with virtually zero agency. You are the 1%, a tremendous gift. You can choose your partner, your career, where you live, what to do with your money, and what you want out of life. Furthermore, being famous is absolutely horrible. People you've never met resent you and plot your downfall, think they know you, obsess over you. Legacy also means nothing when you're dead. Aim for carving out a decent, balanced, lagom kind of life. That's the real way to win.
Don't knock serf life until you've tried it! I get to plow my own field 5 out of every 6 days, I get 1 day off to spend it all in church, and the local lord swings by for prima nocta at every wedding. Life is GREAT!
 

jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
Work on your mindset you're awfully negative and pessimistic. I bought a house. I don't have schooling or a career. Mortgage loan is 3%
That's cool, I'm happy for you really. Did you buy your house recently? You say you have no schooling, are you recently out of high school? That mortgage you got, is it a six-year mortgage that you're going to be able to comfortably pay off on time?

If I'm coming across as negative and pessimistic, it's because that's the outlook for most young people these days. I'm old, and finally got a mortgage that'll hopefully be paid off by the time I'm able to retire (i.e. die). I have kids in their mid-20s that struggle with this every day - and having people give them ridiculously ungrounded advice like sono did above kinda pisses me off. It's the "just walk in and give the manager a firm handshake, they'll give you a job on the spot" advice that my parents gave me in the late 80s that hadn't been relevant for a decade or more by that point. Telling a young person just starting out in life without any wealth "Just buy a cheap house and pay it off quickly, and you won't be poor" is such bad advice that it borders on cruelty.
 

Drizzlehell

Banned
My life-long dream was to be able to live as comfortably and stress-free as possible, to be appreciated and needed by ones I care about, and to be able to play any video game that I want, when I want.

To that I would say that I achieved a spectacular success, and I'm not even done yet.

"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have."
 
Last edited:

Trogdor1123

Gold Member
I never accept anything. I always want more of everything. I refuse to accept the opposite.

I’m happy and extremely grateful for my family and everything I have but I still want more.

I don’t understand how people can just stop pursuing their dreams and just settle.
 

Days like these...

Have a Blessed Day
I never accept anything. I always want more of everything. I refuse to accept the opposite.

I’m happy and extremely grateful for my family and everything I have but I still want more.

I don’t understand how people can just stop pursuing their dreams and just settle.
It's not settling it's called being content with your life.
 
I've accepted my place in this life and it's mentally liberating as I don't seek external validation to know my worth. I don't see the value in working hours upon hours at a corporate job, when you're seen as expendable to the people in charge. Your value comes in how you perceive yourself, never externally.

Also being able to stop and smell the roses: I have so much in my life that I'm grateful for, why would I need to strive for more? Remember, society benefits from your insecurities so you can buy shit you don't need to impress people you utterly despise.

Obviously, we need money to tend to our needs, but outside of that? I have everything I've ever wanted, and working for more seems excessive.
 

IntentionalPun

Ask me about my wife's perfect butthole
I got where I expected out of life, and fairly early on. Like by my late 20s I was maybe even past where I thought I'd be.

Still in the back of my head always thought "but what if I got lucky and just got rich" but it only has ever been a fleeting thought for me.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
As for you guys above talking being famous. Most people aren’t and most people I don’t think give a shit about being popular in media. They just go through live and have a low key social media page for friends and fam.

But for those people who really care a lot about followers, views, and being anything close to Hollywood status, hey go ahead it’s your life. But chances are it sure seems when things go sour it’s like ultra depression ville.

Probably better to be realistic and set expectations low. If it so happens you do get famous one day out of the blue so I something crazy cool then milk it. But trying to strive for fame from the get go seems really egotistical and also ripe for a let down as most people aren’t famous.

Regardless, in life everyone should also stop comparing against other people. There’s always someone who’s richer or got a better looking girlfriend etc… so who cares. Even bill gates got surpassed in money by I think bezos and musk. Does gates have sleepless night thinking about it? I don’t know, but pretty confident he doesn’t care.
 

Aesius

Member
As humans we are hardwired to want more and to never be truly satisfied with anything. We might achieve brief satisfaction after a big promotion or personal accomplishment, but for the most part, we go back to baseline pretty quickly.

Of course, there are ways to fall below baseline. Being truly poor, being lonely, being unhealthy, losing a sense of purpose, etc. But how many rich, famous, and ultra successful people have only the first box checked? They aren't poor, great, but the extra money over a certain point has diminishing returns. They still want even more money, and in return for chasing it, their relationships with their friends and family suffer, they become unhealthy, and they lose sight of what they're chasing (because simply "acquire more money" when your needs are already met is a hollow goal).
 

NecrosaroIII

Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
As humans we are hardwired to want more and to never be truly satisfied with anything. We might achieve brief satisfaction after a big promotion or personal accomplishment, but for the most part, we go back to baseline pretty quickly.

Of course, there are ways to fall below baseline. Being truly poor, being lonely, being unhealthy, losing a sense of purpose, etc. But how many rich, famous, and ultra successful people have only the first box checked? They aren't poor, great, but the extra money over a certain point has diminishing returns. They still want even more money, and in return for chasing it, their relationships with their friends and family suffer, they become unhealthy, and they lose sight of what they're chasing (because simply "acquire more money" when your needs are already met is a hollow goal).

The Four Noble Truths

- Life is suffering
- Suffering is caused by desire
- We can end suffering by reaching enlightenment
- Enlightenment can be reached by following the eightfold path.

The eight fold path

Right View: Our actions have consequence
Right Intention: Bare no ill-will
Right Speach: No lying, rude speech or gossip
Right Conduct: No killing, misconduct or hurting others
Right Livelihood: No work that involves harming others
Right Effort: Affording unhealthy states.
Right Mindfulness: Avoiding unwholesome states of mind. Being conscious of what you're doing. Being aware of the imperminance of the human body
Right Concentration: Gaining control over thought and focus through meditation.,
 
Top Bottom