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Am I in the forever friend zone?

W

WhateverItTakes

Banned
Darkness said:
I do photography and one of the models I shot awhile back had a guy massively friendzoned. He would take her on vacations. She would demand seperate rooms and not hang out with him at all during the trips. He was paying her rent and car payments. He paid for her boob job but never got to see them. He would message me reguarly offering me hundreds of dollars for any revealing photos I may have had of her. I would just take his money and then send him some boring bikini photos of her. Then he would ask if I had "anything more revealing". I'd take an extra $400 from him then email him a bunch of boring photos again afterwards. Such a weird guy but I made a bunch of money off him for nothing.
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I just feel sorry for these people. Where's their self respect and awareness?
 
M

Mahonay

Banned
Darkness said:
How come? The guy didn't seem to mind blowing tons of money. The girl didn't care about me selling him photos that were just unused minor variations of ones I took for her that she was posting online.
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Ah, so she knew about you selling pictures to him. Did you ask her?
 
M

Mathunilx

Neo Member
I have many friends who are into me but are in my friendzone. I don't know how to deal with that. They always offer their help and so on, but I feel bad for accepting.

One time, one of them was drunk, and I received a message from him confessing his love. I didn't know what to do, but he told me he was drunk and he didn't mean it.

What should I do? I like them as friends, and I have fun when I hang out with them, but I don't want to hurt them...

Also, OP is her friend and he should accept he's not going to be with her.
 
S

Solo

Member
WaterAstro said:
Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing..
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Just not with her.

Stop simping, you're embarrassing yourself. The ironic thing is if you did the right thing and dropped her cold turkey (which you won't), she'd likely respect you and find you more attractive than she ever will in your current role as best-friend/confidence booster.
 
C

Chumley

Banned
Darkness said:
Initially I brought it up with her to ask if she knew this creepy guy that was emailing me. She said she did not care if I sold the photos while we were talking about it. I take a lot with each shoot and only use a couple, so they were basically the same as the ones she was using...just slightly different poses.

I wouldn't do something like that behind someones back.
Click to expand...

If she payed for the entire shoot and is completely aware who is asking for the photos it makes no sense to me why he'd need to buy them. It comes off as incredibly scummy to not just tell her "hey, you own these photos, if you want the guy to have them you can give them to him".
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Mathunilx said:
I have many friends who are into me but are in my friendzone. I don't know how to deal with that. They always offer their help and so on, but I feel bad for accepting.

One time, one of them was drunk, and I received a message from him confessing his love. I didn't know what to do, but he told me he was drunk and he didn't mean it.

What should I do? I like them as friends, and I have fun when I hang out with them, but I don't want to hurt them...

Also, OP is her friend and he should accept he's not going to be with her.
Click to expand...

Can these friends see you just as a friend and nothing more? If not, and their feelings get to be more than that, it might be time to cut them out because giving them attention might make them more eager.
 
F

Fuchsdh

Member
Mathunilx said:
I have many friends who are into me but are in my friendzone. I don't know how to deal with that. They always offer their help and so on, but I feel bad for accepting.

One time, one of them was drunk, and I received a message from him confessing his love. I didn't know what to do, but he told me he was drunk and he didn't mean it.

What should I do? I like them as friends, and I have fun when I hang out with them, but I don't want to hurt them...

Also, OP is her friend and he should accept he's not going to be with her.
Click to expand...

Just be upfront and honest with them. If you've clearly communicated you're not interested, it's on them after that point, not you.

I'd also say that in general, but relationships especially, trying not to hurt people tends to not actually work out well. You can be straightforward without being brusque, but beating around the bush can only cause more problems. You can't control how they'll react, but just because someone will react badly doesn't mean it's your fault.
 
V

Van Bur3n

Member
Darkness said:
I do photography and one of the models I shot awhile back had a guy massively friendzoned. He would take her on vacations. She would demand seperate rooms and not hang out with him at all during the trips. He was paying her rent and car payments. He paid for her boob job but never got to see them. He would message me reguarly offering me hundreds of dollars for any revealing photos I may have had of her. I would just take his money and then send him some boring bikini photos of her. Then he would ask if I had "anything more revealing". I'd take an extra $400 from him then email him a bunch of boring photos again afterwards. Such a weird guy but I made a bunch of money off him for nothing.
Click to expand...

This thread has reached peak awesome. Shit, we don't even need the OP anymore (although feel free to come back with one of your "updates").
 
L

Lego Boss

Member
Mathunilx said:
I have many friends who are into me but are in my friendzone. I don't know how to deal with that. They always offer their help and so on, but I feel bad for accepting.

One time, one of them was drunk, and I received a message from him confessing his love. I didn't know what to do, but he told me he was drunk and he didn't mean it.

What should I do? I like them as friends, and I have fun when I hang out with them, but I don't want to hurt them...

Also, OP is her friend and he should accept he's not going to be with her.
Click to expand...

Yeah, sorry about that l'm not used to vodka.
 
Ichabod

Ichabod

Banned
This thread. This fucking thread.
xogipLQ.jpg
 
M

Mahonay

Banned
Darkness said:
Initially I brought it up with her to ask if she knew this creepy guy that was emailing me. She said she did not care if I sold the photos while we were talking about it. I take a lot with each shoot and only use a couple, so they were basically the same as the ones she was using...just slightly different poses. He could have pretty much have gotten them off social media for free, but did not seem to mind paying hundreds of dollars for them.

I wouldn't do something like that behind someones back.
Click to expand...
Hmm, still a very scammy thing to do and definitely exploitive. But I guess not as bad if she was fully ok with it.
 
M

Matrix XII

Member
Jason's Ultimatum said:
This is easily top three threads of the year. We've got everything from friendzoned, hilarious text messages, MRA, mcmuffins, and photographers. Anything else missing?

We need Mandrake to summarize all of this.
Click to expand...

Thread of the year for me. I haven't laughed/cringed this much in ages. Gaf delivers.
 
M

Mathunilx

Neo Member
Fuchsdh said:
Just be upfront and honest with them. If you've clearly communicated you're not interested, it's on them after that point, not you.

I'd also say that in general, but relationships especially, trying not to hurt people tends to not actually work out well. You can be straightforward without being brusque, but beating around the bush can only cause more problems. You can't control how they'll react, but just because someone will react badly doesn't mean it's your fault.
Click to expand...

I think you're right. I did tell them a couple times, but I sometimes get the ''come over we'll watch a movie and cuddle'' messages that I am not comfortable with. I think I need to stop talking to them for a while. (Until their feelings go away, at least)
 
S

Shredderi

Member
Man it makes me sad to read some of this stuff. I have one friend who used to be a very close and good friend of mine but he moved to another city and became more and more distant once he fell head over heels for this one girl. He confessed his feelings but the girl didn't want romantic stuff and they remained close friends. I saw my friend from time to time but less and less as time went by and he was always more and more depressed, like actually depressed and not just a little bit sad. He's still hung up on her after 6 years and I almost no longer recognize my friend. I basically never see him. I tried reaching out to him a couple of years ago and we had a good honest conversation on the phone and he is actually fully cognizant of pretty much everything (he isn't stupid enough to be able to defense mechanism the problem out of his sight) but just can't help himself. Meeting that girl (who isn't to blame) was the worst thing to happen to him. Such a shame too since he's a legit good looking guy who would do very well in the market and he's had girls come onto him VERY strongly but he just brushes everyone off while knowing that he's never gonna get the girl he wants.
 
F

Fuchsdh

Member
Mathunilx said:
I think you're right. I did tell them a couple times, but I sometimes get the ''come over we'll watch a movie and cuddle'' messages that I am not comfortable with. I think I need to stop talking to them for a while. (Until their feelings go away, at least)
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's a sucky position to be in. At the end of the day you're supposed to enjoy hanging out with your friends, not be apprehensive it's all some cover for their romantic feelings. Makes perfect sense to distance yourself or cut them out if they're behaving that way.
 
C

ClosingADoor

Member
Mathunilx said:
I think you're right. I did tell them a couple times, but I sometimes get the ''come over we'll watch a movie and cuddle'' messages that I am not comfortable with. I think I need to stop talking to them for a while. (Until their feelings go away, at least)
Click to expand...
If they continue that and it makes you feel uncomfortable, put your own feelings first. They'll get over it eventually, that is not your problem really.
 
V

velociraptor

Junior Member
This is why you should never pay too much attention to girls, and you should try to make them chase you. Make yourself always available and you're only devaluing yourself to them.
 
M

Matrix XII

Member
Shredderi said:
Man it makes me sad to read some of this stuff. I have one friend who used to be a very close and good friend of mine but he moved to another city and became more and more distant once he fell head over heels for this one girl. He confessed his feelings but the girl didn't want romantic stuff and they remained close friends. I saw my friend from time to time but less and less as time went by and he was always more and more depressed, like actually depressed and not just a little bit sad. He's still hung up on her after 6 years and I almost no longer recognize my friend. I basically never see him. I tried reaching out to him a couple of years ago and we had a good honest conversation on the phone and he is actually fully cognizant of pretty much everything (he isn't stupid enough to be able to defense mechanism the problem out of his sight) but just can't help himself. Meeting that girl (who isn't to blame) was the worst thing to happen to him. Such a shame too since he's a legit good looking guy who would do very well in the market and he's had girls come onto him VERY strongly but he just brushes everyone off while knowing that he's never gonna get the girl he wants.
Click to expand...

That guy should move to Maine and start a new life on the docks.

Maybe the girl will get married soon and he can move on? Or will he even at that point?
 
Geno Breaker

Geno Breaker

Banned
Man I never knew so many people on GAF were dicks against those who were friendzoned. The fact that they were friendzoned is all they deserve, nobody needs to post pictures of them online or make money off them lol

Maybe dicks is a little too strong, but it's just really off-putting.
 
L

Lkr

Member
Darkness said:
I do photography and one of the models I shot awhile back had a guy massively friendzoned. He would take her on vacations. She would demand seperate rooms and not hang out with him at all during the trips. He was paying her rent and car payments. He paid for her boob job but never got to see them. He would message me reguarly offering me hundreds of dollars for any revealing photos I may have had of her. I would just take his money and then send him some boring bikini photos of her. Then he would ask if I had "anything more revealing". I'd take an extra $400 from him then email him a bunch of boring photos again afterwards. Such a weird guy but I made a bunch of money off him for nothing.
Click to expand...
I keep wondering how this thread is still going and then we get a treat like this. The mods must be laughing their asses off reading this shit.
Jason's Ultimatum said:
This is easily top three threads of the year. We've got everything from friendzoned, hilarious text messages, MRA, mcmuffins, and photographers. Anything else missing?

We need Mandrake to summarize all of this.
Click to expand...
There was the crazy junior drive by posting about the evils of feminism too.
 
C

Chumley

Banned
Geno Breaker said:
Man I never knew so many people on GAF were dicks against those who were friendzoned. The fact that they were friendzoned is all they deserve, nobody needs to post pictures of them online or make money off them lol

Maybe dicks is a little too strong, but it's just really off-putting.
Click to expand...

If they were happy with their own lives they wouldn't be publicly shaming people like this to make themselves feel better. It speaks as much to their character as it does the people they're making fun of, some people use message board anonymity to pretend like they're in high school again. It's sad.
 
L

lightskintwin

Banned
Man, confessing your feelings to a woman that you've never dated in any serious capacity, yet alone been intimate with, is really weird and awkward due to going from 0 to 100 from just being her friend. Especially if you invoke the word Love anywhere in your confession. LOL
 
R

riotous

Banned
lightskintwin said:
Man, confessing your feelings to a woman that you've never dated in any serious capacity, yet alone been intimate with, is really weird and awkward due to going from 0 to 100 from just being her friend.
Click to expand...

LOL, yeah I said the same earlier.

I checked out the dating-GAF thread and it was full of "confess your feelings" advice; just don't agree with that approach.
 
Y

Yoshimitsu126

Member
lightskintwin said:
Man, confessing your feelings to a woman that you've never dated in any serious capacity, yet alone been intimate with, is really weird and awkward due to going from 0 to 100 from just being her friend.
Click to expand...

Couldn't said person pretend they just started to like their crush and just ask them out to get it over it?
 
L

lightskintwin

Banned
riotous said:
LOL, yeah I said the same earlier.

I checked out the dating-GAF thread and it was full of "confess your feelings" advice; just don't agree with that approach.
Click to expand...

It can already be weird or awkward when somebody confesses their feelings towards you even when you are dating them, if it occurs way too soon. LOL

Yoshimitsu126 said:
Couldn't said person pretend they just started to like their crush and just ask them out to get it over it?
Click to expand...

Sure, but there are smoother approaches than creating some ultimatum scenario where you have to find out once and for all if this is going to happen or not.
 
Ryzaki009

Ryzaki009

Member
gaiages said:
I mean there are such things as actual, platonic relationships...

I assume you don't ask for a blowjob from your best guy friend if you buy him a few rounds, at least.
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Yes and they're reciprocal. I.E I don't expect my male friends to pay for my things and I never return the favor in kind. That's user behavior and I get as far away from that as fast as possible.

First of all I'm female and second of all of course not buying someone a few drinks is a far different manner than paying their rent/vacations. Trying to equate the two is hilarious. (That said if I buy you drinks and you never reciprocate no I'm not doing it again).

lightskintwin said:
I know guys that take women friends on lavish vacations hoping they still got a chance. LOL Seeing the pictures afterwards is even more hilarious, when almost all of them are the guy taking all the pictures of his woman friend standing by herself in front of some landmark or nice setting.
Click to expand...

Smh that's just sad.

excelsiorlef said:
o_O

Because you should only buy a girl something in exchange for sex. Way to make a relationship sound like prostitution.
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Same as the above. Paying someone constantly is NOT just buying them a gift (and also if someone's not buying me things back no I'm not throwing money away. I'm too broke for that. Paying someone's vacations is man territory (if it's not a one time thing and they get you back) and if you're not getting the privileges that go with that why on earth are you doing it? Edited: Sorry mixed vacation and rent up similar point of view tho.
 
P

Peltz

Member
velociraptor said:
This is why you should never pay too much attention to girls, and you should try to make them chase you. Make yourself always available and you're only devaluing yourself to them.
Click to expand...
Lol. What the?

Girls like men who are direct and upfront. Games are for children.
 
C

Chumley

Banned
Peltz said:
Lol. What the?

Girls like men who are direct and upfront. Games are for children.
Click to expand...

Being direct and upfront too quickly is a one way ticket to getting ghosted. Dating by its nature is a huge game, but once you're together it's completely different.
 
Z

Zombine

Banned
Love it when the guy or girl who gets friend zoned realizes that the person they have been obsessing over really isn't that great. I want more of those stories.
 
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