lastrealgameralive
Member
You done fucked up. Pregnant hands in the afterlife for you!
It looks like you killed an animal with your dick. So fucking metal.Getting caught by someone you regularly have sex with isn't getting caught. Getting caught by your dad or a police officer is getting caught.
Also, get over your hangup, sex while the girl is on her period is A-OK, if a little messy. At the very least, it's no excuse.
Your girlfriend busts in on you and you stop? Dude, you should've grabbed her by the ass and kept going, while kissing her on the neck. Trust me, it's awesome (I was caught once too).
Wow, he plays drums so fast! Fast means good when it comes to jazz, right?
There are still methods available to you of stimulating your weiner that don't involve a bleeding vagina.I'm not down for sailing the red sea, so no opportunity there.
There are still methods available to you of stimulating your weiner that don't involve a bleeding vagina.
Period blood on my penis makes it feel numb and hard to stay erect for me. The noise of pounding a wet vag full of blood and sometimes smell of it can take one out of the mood as well. My girl has very irregular periods and I have gotten blood on my dick a number of times (almost every month.)
It is not a fun cleanup. The first time this happens to you it is quite a shock, it does become less of a deal after a few times of it happening. Nothing like having your entire balls ass legs dick completely drenched in period blood, sometimes with coagulated dark chunks.
As I said earlier, a lifetime of trying not to get caught, and then getting caught, scared me so much I got soft like instantly. Then we both started laughing so the sexy atmosphere was well gone.
Bathroom. Locked door. If you're doing it in your living room with an hour break from the misses, and you wait until a few minutes before she's due to come back, you're doing it wrong. If it took you the whole hour and you couldn't do it, you're doing it wrong. If she walks in and sees you doing it, make a Bond line. Otherwise, you're doing it wrong.
Shuttle Service?
I keep an older Honda Civic because it's pretty rad. But there have been a bunch of recalls lately (airbag, SRS/buckle shit) so I've been in there more than I'd like and no one mentioned a shuttle service even in passing. Can't even get out of the service department, nevermind catch someone masturbating. Your Honda place seems awesome.
OP you should have made your volcano of lust erupt with man magma in front of your GF.
Also it's fine to "sail the red sea" under the shower m8
You've misread my posts then.
She was SUPPOSED to be gone for at least an hour, but came back after 10-15 minutes because the dealership drove her home, something neither of us knew was was going to happen.
"Ok babe, going to drop the car off, I'll see you in a bit once it's done."
Gets to dealership
"Hey, we have a shuttle service that can take you home so you don't have to wander around town waiting for us to finish."
a few minutes later
"Hey babe I'm home ear...HAHAHAHAHA."
What if during sex you two laughed a bit, would that mean the sex is immediately called off? Can you work in humour into your sex life? Or is it just the awkwardness of this scenario was too much?As I said earlier, a lifetime of trying not to get caught, and then getting caught, scared me so much I got soft like instantly. Then we both started laughing so the sexy atmosphere was well gone.
With the way this thread is going, the sentiment seems to be you have to have period sex. There is no choice to abstain! lol
What if during sex you two laughed a bit, would that mean the sex is immediately called off? Can you work in humour into your sex life? Or is it just the awkwardness of this scenario was too much?
I just don't see why it's an issue or why you'd be embarrassed.
GF? Pfft.
I thought it'd be someone more awkward. Dad, mom, brother, sister, teacher, boss, coworkers, etc.
You should just say "Some help please?"
Classy.
After reading this as an asexual, please kill me.
Judge? Honey, I said he was classy. That isn't a bad thing.
That you know of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
So my girlfriend has been on her lady time, and she's not working atm and our place is pretty small, so I haven't been able to knock one out in a few days. So finally, the other day, she went to get her car looked at and I figured I finally had a chance to spend some quality time with myself.
I'm just getting into it, pants are off, tabs are queued up in chrome and the tissues are handy.
Then BOOM, front door opens and she walks in. Apparently the Toyota dealership has a handy shuttle service to take you back home while your car is worked on, so she wasn't gone for as long as I had planned.
Anyway, she thought it was hilarious, and I was too flustered to finish, so we had a good chuckle and carried on with our day.
I know this isn't the dramatic or hilarious end to the story you were all waiting for, but this is the first and only time in my entire life I've been caught jacking off, so I wanted to share my tale with you guys. Not exactly EightBitNate levels of awkward, but when she walked in the door I nearly had a heart attack.
Why not anal?
My girlfriend bleeds a lot. Very heavy. A wet vagina vs a wet one with that much blood does have a noticable difference in sound, feeling, and smell sometimes. If it has happened to you as much as it has happened to us, then you know the subtle changes compared to "normal" sex...which can throw some off, it does for myself and her. If the lights are off, I can tell you without touching or seeing that she is bleeding. Every single time.If you think the sound of intercourse is different when the girl is having her period versus when she's not, I think the problem is with you (or the unfortunate girl). You realize that most of the time during any sex, the girl's vagina is wet, yes? It should be, at least.
Also, her cycle doesn't turn it into a "wet vag full of blood". I rarely hear about women just carrying around half a cup of blood down there just waiting for some jackass to splash around in it.
I know, but because I'm not down with period sex, she doesn't feel it's fair to get me off if she gets nothing out of the deal.
"I want you to fuck me, and if you won't, I'm not blowing you, because that shit is unfair to me." basically.
Why not anal?
So my girlfriend has been on her lady time, and she's not working atm and our place is pretty small, so I haven't been able to knock one out in a few days. So finally, the other day, she went to get her car looked at and I figured I finally had a chance to spend some quality time with myself.
Dude, this is when she is at her horniest. Bloody up that sword of yours like you were William Wallace in Braveheart.
I had a bad experience as a younger man that has made me pretty gun shy regarding this.
She doesn't think it's fair to get me off when she can't (or I'm unwilling to because I don't like the blood) which I can't argue with.
In my experience that week is always blowjob week. You guys are doing something wrong.
What, she has no hands?
Oh god... Just what I want to ponder as I'm trying to fall asleep. You're a real bastard you know that?
Oh no, no no no no. Just no.
That week is just another week, but with different fluids and viscosity levels. And it's perfectly normal. Just google it.
And nothing against oral sex, but that can happen any day. It's just part and parcel of having sex, isn't it? Why limit yourself?
She doesn't think it's fair to get me off when she can't (or I'm unwilling to because I don't like the blood) which I can't argue with.
You masturbated within view of the front door?
Period blood on my penis makes it feel numb and hard to stay erect for me. The noise of pounding a wet vag full of blood and sometimes smell of it can take one out of the mood as well. My girl has very irregular periods and I have gotten blood on my dick a number of times (almost every month.)
It is not a fun cleanup. The first time this happens to you it is quite a shock, it does become less of a deal after a few times of it happening. Nothing like having your entire balls ass legs dick completely drenched in period blood, sometimes with coagulated dark chunks.