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Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her

gaiages

Banned
Yikes. That's... an update.

Considering what we know about her, the whole having sex then her going "I didn't want to though" later sounds like the set up for her to spin it into something far more diabolical. Because this biatch is crazy enough to spin it.

But something tells me we're going to see a Part 3... you didn't go home for the summer just to be with her OP? Really? How little self respect do you have for yourself?
 
Man, you really treat your roommate like garbage for no reason. I can't root for you, you sound like an ass and your girl/ex is frankly a bitch. Such insanity.
 

Rookhelm

Member
I know you like her and you don't want to lose her, but if she's acting like this at age 27, it's only going to get worse. Cut her loose.


Confide in your roommate, and tell her everything...especially the parts where your girlfriend forced you to cut ties with her (the roomate). Even if nothing comes of it, at least you get a friend back.
 

entremet

Member
Guys, just remember he's only 22.

It's good he's making these mistakes now and not in his 30s lol.

Don't be so doom and gloom lol.
 
This is easy. B/c she is so into Facebook stuff, just change relationship status to single, and re-add roommate. That's your closure.

Damn that would be harsh, but it would probably salvage a bit of dignity, even if it ended in probably violence against his home.

That's what happened with me and my ex. Sadly it's likely over. Sorry OP

Sadly?

Here's the thing, anyone at that age who is that insanely jealous is probably used to relationships filled with drama and cheating. When she's taking 5-7 day "breaks", it means she's likely sleeping with other people, and in her mind she doesn't have to feel guilty about it because you weren't together for those few days. When she breaks up with OP for good (and yes, she will break up with him), she will dump all of this in his lap at once in an attempt to hurt his feelings. Watch.
 

cr0w

Old Member
OP, goddamn.

Ok.

First things first, walk your ass over to your housemate and apologize face to face. You knew her before you met this fucking nightmare, she's gone out of her way to try to include you in things and be your friend, and you've basically shit on her because for some reason you're infatuated with this girl who treats you worse than garbage.

Second, cut off all contact with this eldritch horror you've been seeing before your sanity meter is drained. At this point you'll be lucky to have gotten out of the relationship without getting arrested or falsely accused of something.

Third, yes you're only 22. But she's 27. If she's acting like this at her age, it's never gonna get any better.

There's no way in hell that any of this is going to improve.
 
I'm gonna be up front with you even if it sounds harsh. This "realtionship" is toxic, just get out of it, it's doing nothing but harm to your life. She does not sound like a stable person at all and trust issues like this are a no go. To be straight up you've been an idiot in this situation.

You sit there and do everything she asks, even cutting off contact with friends just to appease a girl who does not really want to be with you. This girl not only ruined your realtionship, but she's killing relationships with your friends. It's not enough that you will not have a gf, but you also went one step further and decided to not have friends.

The only relationship you should focus on repairing is the one with your housemate. Stop making dumb moves, for your sake.
 

Goro Majima

Kitty Genovese Member
You seriously have some sucking up to do with your housemate. I'd take her out to a nice steak dinner and some drinks and have a nice long bitch fest about this girl. That's the best closure you'll get out of this considering nothing good will come out of talking to your ex again.

In a way I feel sorry for this girl you've been dating because she needs professional help and doesn't need to be dating anyone at all right now. You can't nor should you try to fix any of that because she's dealing with more than a little depression or anxiety. Trust me on this from my own personal experience that theres nothing waiting for you but misery and stress.

She did you a favor by ghosting you for this long.
 
Christ alive OP, Dump her! she is insane.

Never let anyone tell you who you can and cannot associate with, especially an entire gender (which is crazy from someone you describe as a feminist activist)

And when you've done that apologise to your housemate, whom it seemed at the very least was your friend, if not was attracted to you
 

xBladeM6x

Member
So here I am 5 days after, I think its over, but I want closure (Are we broken up? Why are we braking up? etc). She will not answer any of my calls or read my messages, so I am considering going to her house (or where she works) but I don't want to seem crazy, what should I do?

Do NOT do this. Accept that it's over and move on. This will make you look crazy to her. It takes time, but you need to move on, closure or not.
 

Spladam

Member
Just read the entire thing for the first time. OP.... O fucking P...... dude, run.

I get that you are young, but for future reference, when you hear "I don't want you hanging out with other people", it's a big red flag. The whole lack of trust thing was a big red flag.

Now, go have sex with every one of the girls upstairs, be young, make some mistakes, you will just fall into a good relationship. Focus on school though, finish that shit, that is all that matters right now.

Don't call that chick again. When she calls you, be aloof and dismissive. Watch what happens. Then block her on EVERYTHING. Tell her you used your CS skills to learn how to block her on everything.

Have fun.
 
Wow, OP.

Take this as an education in setting boundaries going forward. I don't care if she strokes your ego, can suck a golf ball through a garden hose, is holding a meaty winning lottery ticket, or has dirt on you. It's not worth any of that.

Going by your description, she's a textbook cheater that's projecting onto you. She doesn't have feelings for you, and she likes having you at her beck and call. Tell her it's over, tell her you're blocking her, tell her never to speak to you again, and wish her all the best going forward. Then reiterate that you're never going to have any contact with her ever again.

But do this after you apologize to your housemate. Matter of fact, apologize to your housemate first, let her know that you're going to take care of this, and THEN go end the toxic relationship right then and there. You have to take control of your feelings and your boundaries, because it's only going to get worse. Good luck, OP.

Edit: Obviously I skimmed your update. Take all that advice and apply it for when the ex contacts you again. Wouldn't surprise me at all if that happens.
 

Ron Mexico

Member
The reason OP won't take any of this advice is it's abundantly clear this girl was his first and he's fighting with the notion of her not being "the one". Strike one.

He goes on about the gaming parts (going to an arcade, playing games together, etc etc) and now not only is she the first, she's a "gamer chick". Strike two.

OP mentions her age and expects the "she's 27 and should know better" but in reality, the mention of her age is to add to the "conquest". Not only is she clearly "hot", she's also a "gamer chick" that's "older than me". Coo coo cachoo Mrs. Robinson. Strike three.

You know, I'll help you out some more. My ex-wife is older than you, Korean (since seemingly that's as much of a fetish as the "gamer chick"), and has a Zelda tattoo, all while being batshit insane. Want her number?
 

OnPoint

Member
There's something to be said for compromise in a relationship. That's not what's going on here. What a sad situation you're enabling.

That said, it seems like you're not listening to anyone OP, so I won't provide advice. You'll figure it out. Good luck.
 

Kumquat

Member
I concur with everyone else.

Get out of that before she flips one day and reports you to the police on some crazy stuff that you didn't do.
 
I'd tell you to see a therapist without the girl, but you won't, so maybe just Google "codependency" in between begging her to treat you like crap and realize that's the road this girl has you on.

Why are you chasing someone who treats you this badly? Why put up with someone who makes insane demands with you not ever being around women, but has no problem being around men?

This girl is a bad choice, let it die.
 
The reason OP won't take any of this advice is it's abundantly clear this girl was his first and he's fighting with the notion of her not being "the one". Strike one.

He goes on about the gaming parts (going to an arcade, playing games together, etc etc) and now not only is she the first, she's a "gamer chick". Strike two.

OP mentions her age and expects the "she's 27 and should know better" but in reality, the mention of her age is to add to the "conquest". Not only is she clearly "hot", she's also a "gamer chick" that's "older than me". Coo coo cachoo Mrs. Robinson. Strike three.

You know, I'll help you out some more. My ex-wife is older than you, Korean (since seemingly that's as much of a fetish as the "gamer chick"), and has a Zelda tattoo, all while being batshit insane. Want her number?
Umm I want it 🤷🏿*♂️.
 

Korosenai

Member
So here I am 5 days after, I think its over, but I want closure (Are we broken up? Why are we braking up? etc). She will not answer any of my calls or read my messages, so I am considering going to her house (or where she works) but I don't want to seem crazy, what should I do?

Definitely go to her house and find out what's going on, maybe her phone has been on silent.
 

Morrigan Stark

Arrogant Smirk
Considering what we know about her, the whole having sex then her going "I didn't want to though" later sounds like the set up for her to spin it into something far more diabolical. Because this biatch is crazy enough to spin it.
Yeahhhhh I can't say the thought didn't cross my mind either. She sure sounds capable of such BS. I really hope to be wrong though...
 

vypek

Member
Did I miss something, where was the therapy part?

Its from:

LOL, i know all advice says cut and run, but I am just
a) astonished we we're having fun and acting like everything is cool, she agreed to go to therapy then out of nowhere she decided to stop contacting me and flip out
b) Upset she doesn't even end it person, or EVEN in text

So im kinda mad about and just want to know the reason

where he mentions she agreed to therapy

EDIT:
Here too...

Im getting angry, but I never say anything I am saving it for therapy for which we had an appointment which was a week away.
 

NervousXtian

Thought Emoji Movie was good. Take that as you will.
That girl is nuts... run. don't look back. That's not acceptable or normal behavior in a relationship.
 
The reason OP won't take any of this advice is it's abundantly clear this girl was his first and he's fighting with the notion of her not being "the one". Strike one.

He goes on about the gaming parts (going to an arcade, playing games together, etc etc) and now not only is she the first, she's a "gamer chick". Strike two.

OP mentions her age and expects the "she's 27 and should know better" but in reality, the mention of her age is to add to the "conquest". Not only is she clearly "hot", she's also a "gamer chick" that's "older than me". Coo coo cachoo Mrs. Robinson. Strike three.

Add the 1.5 multiplier that she's half Japanese.
 

Sephzilla

Member
Jesus Christ, OP

giphy.gif


You have someone living downstairs who's thirsty as fuck for you, ditch the drama and go with someone who doesn't seem like she's going to lose her shit if you put the toilet paper on the roll the wrong way
 

MogCakes

Member
Add the 1.5 multiplier that she's half Japanese.
For a lot of nerds that's an exponential.

EDIT: for all those saying his housemate wants him....What we know about her doesn't necessarily indicate anything. She's being friendly and supportive; not to be confused with romantically interested.
 

shandy706

Member
Move on dude. Should have seen the red flag when she was trying to stop you from talking to other female friends.

Yeah, immediate NO..

You guys were dating for like three months and went to therapy.

What
in
the
fuck

GET OUT OP, seriously...run....drop her.

Mr.Shrugglesツ;239221314 said:
She's 27?

God damn, for sure I thought this was like a straight out of highschool story.

No kidding

OP

You are too young for this shit.


MOVE ON.

..and she's too old to be acting like that..

You're waisting your time..and chances at other women.
 
Op....


OP.......

smh

I want to post advice, but I don't think you'll listen so I'm not going to waste the time. Like holy shit, this woman is 27? The only thing I think is worth saying is that you should apologize to your housemate, but part of me doesn't even want to do that because you sound like a very bad friend that she doesn't need in her life. The fact that you didn't even mention her in your conclusion and don't seem to give a shit about how she feels right now reinforces that.
 

cr0w

Old Member
Op on second thought, maybe you need to go to her parents house and have a talk with them.
 

Crossing Eden

Hello, my name is Yves Guillemot, Vivendi S.A.'s Employee of the Month!
Wonder why this thread is so long......

*reads thread*

ohh....oh dear....OHHHH NOOO... O_O
 
Cut her loose, it's not worth it when that much drama is caused by you just hanging out with a friend.

You don't need closure, it's overrated, if you feel it's over, it's over. "Closure" is just an excuse to dwell on things.
 

magawolaz

Member
fuck's sake OP, get out and never look back. She'll make your life a living hell, I guarantee you that.
And stop being an asshole to your roomate

God if I'm angry rignt now
 
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