Why the difference in perception.
People are kinder to Sony because Sony have shown time and time again they are kinder to gamers, where as Microsoft has a habit of doing the complete opposite (que anti consumer and value proposition policies, nickel and diming galore, cutting off support for their consoles abruptly late in the cycle etc). Only the most ardent actually disagree on this front. It's never been clearer to see than recently, with Microsoft back peddling en masse just to try and get closer to where Sony already was.
The ram reserve.
To answer your questions though, the ram reserve presently for the PS4 is 6GB. Though it is fluid and likely to change (probably for the better) as is the Xbox One's 5GB availability. The OS memory footprint will likely be reduced on both consoles going forward.
Charging for multiplayer.
With respect to charging for multiplayer, actually a lot of people (including me) picked at that. However, it is not comparable to what Microsoft is doing, and once again only highlights the gulf between value proposition between these two consoles. On the Xbox One you pay $60 for Gold to play online and get a bunch of features that should have been free anyway but are behind a paywall. On the PS4, you get all those features free without PS+, including F2P gaming (including online), however, to play online you do have to pay, but what does that $50 (cheaper than Gold) get you? Not just online play, but a crap load of free content and games, 1 or more every month in-fact, as well as a whole host of other freebies and discounts. That's why Sony is getting less flak for their move, because for that $50 they are actually giving us a massive amount of value.
DRM love.
On the last point about DRM, well Eastmen, lets just say I'm not the least bit surprised. The sad fact is though, even post DRM 180, you can STILL download your games if that's what you prefer. There's no reason Microsoft can't still offer all the perks of their previous policies for their digital library, they don't because they choose not to and would rather maximise profits over offering better value to their oft gullible consumers.
If you don't want to take the fantastic advantages involved in being able to trade in your games to add better value to your purchases, your loss.