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Are there any childfree people here?

Ron Mexico

Ron Mexico

Member
Gravy Boat said:
Again, why are you quoting me and not the people who have literally said 'I'm not having kids for selfish reasons'?
Click to expand...

So I'll quote you instead. If you're so firm in your beliefs, own them. Just be prepared for those that don't fit your narrative either.

I have a 3 BR house in a good neighborhood that I bought in part because of the school district. My fiancée and I are both working professionals and could theoretically live off one salary. My parents provided a good home for me. As did hers. We're both educated. We're both healthy. We don't live extravagantly.

Sounds great, huh? Only thing that's missing is the desire. Can't be taught. Can't be manufactured.

Edit to add: Gravy, it's a touchy subject. I know you've made the effort to clarify. That's why I'm not going to edit this all out. I stand by every single sentiment-- just nothing personal.
 
rokkerkory

rokkerkory

Member
I really want and love kids. But probably can only afford 1 at this point. I live in bay area and even though we make decent money, it's just way to hard with limited time these days.
 
M

MisterShine

Member
BocoDragon said:
Reproduction is not really an objective purpose...
Click to expand...

It is the only *objective* reason we exist. Our opinions or feelings on that don't matter, evolution simply is. DNA replicates and tries to pass itself on. Life makes more life. Assigning more to it than that is purely subjective.
 
L

Leeness

Member
Will never have children. Ugh. Haha.

I don't have an SO and never will have one of those either anyway, but also taking steps to ensure I would never ever ever have children. Do not want.
 
G

Gravy Boat

Member
Ron Mexico said:
So I'll quote you instead. If you're so firm in your beliefs, own them. Just be prepared for those that don't fit your narrative either.

I have a 3 BR house in a good neighborhood that I bought in part because of the school district. My fiancée and I are both working professionals and could theoretically live off one salary. My parents provided a good home for me. As did hers. We're both educated. We're both healthy. We don't live extravagantly.

Sounds great, huh? Only thing that's missing is the desire. Can't be taught. Can't be manufactured.
Click to expand...

When did I say It could be taught? I've literally said I respect people who don't want kids.

Angry Grimace said:
At this point whatever point you are trying to make is straight up incoherent. Stop talking to me.
Click to expand...

You said that my opinion ('I agree with some people that their reason for not having kids is selfish') is wrong and that I'm being judgemental against the people who said it, for agreeing with them. Where did I say that selfishness is the only valid reason for not having kids? Because the only reason I can find that you keep coming back to me is that for some reason you think that I believe the only reason to not have kids is selfishness, when I've never said that.
 
R

Rmagnus

Banned
Too expensive in my country to have a child, don't think I am financially capable of having one. Thankfully my Mrs agreed once past 30 we will not have any.
 
Ron Mexico

Ron Mexico

Member
Gravy Boat said:
When did I say It could be taught? I've literally said I respect people who don't want kids.



You said that my opinion ('I agree with some people that their reason for not having kids is selfish') is wrong and that I'm being judgemental against the people who said it, for agreeing with them. Where did I say that selfishness is the only valid reason for not having kids? Because the only reason I can find that you keep coming back to me is that for some reason you think that I believe the only reason to not have kids is selfishness, when I've never said that.
Click to expand...

I edited my post at the end a bit as you were replying. I vehemently believe that there are reasons beyond selfishness, but there was something lost along all the side arguments there and things got off course. I'll never apologize for the truth, but I will for it sounding like you were the one riding the selfishness wave. My fault.
 
B

BocoDragon

or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
MisterShine said:
It is the only *objective* reason we exist. Our opinions or feelings on that don't matter, evolution simply is. DNA replicates and tries to pass itself on. Life makes more life. Assigning more to it than that is purely subjective.
Click to expand...
Reproduction isn't a "purpose" though. That isn't a "reason to exist".

Reproduction is something we tend to do (especially when sex inevitably led to reproduction). Just as we tend to eat. We tend to shit, etc. But it's not as if any of those is our life's inherent mission. Nobody cares if our DNA doesn't get passed on to the next generation. It's not "purpose" unless you're modeling evolution as some game we are supposed to win, but that's just a model to help humans understand a pattern of what DNA remains in play during future trials. In reality no one is keeping score and no one cares if your DNA checks out of the game.

As you say, "assigning more to that is subjective". But really, no purpose should be assigned in the first place.
 
P

Phu

Banned
MisterShine said:
It is the only *objective* reason we exist. Our opinions or feelings on that don't matter, evolution simply is. DNA replicates and tries to pass itself on. Life makes more life. Assigning more to it than that is purely subjective.
Click to expand...

There is no reason life has to exist or perpetuate. Reproduction is what life tends to do, not what it has to do. DNA doesn't 'try' to do anything, it simply does.
 
C

crisdecuba

Member
Warm Machine said:
There is having kids and not having kids. You'll never have any idea what it is like seeing your own child grow, learn, and interact with you and the world. It is equivalent to being born again yourself. There is a primal part of the brain that gets triggered where you begin to remember your own life process reflected in the child.

It is an incomparable experience. You might think a dog or a cat is the same or because you have a niece or a nephew you know what it is like. Those are pale imitations. You unlock a part of you that you didn't even know existed. Like the poster said about killing a tiger with his bare hand without fear to protect his child he nailed it. There is a level of selflessness you discover. That isn't to say everything of yourself disappears, it doesn't just you find more to yourself that wasn't there before.
Click to expand...
The incomparability of the experience and the fierce selflessness you discover don't always outweigh the negatives. You seem to revel in it, which is great, but for many out there it's a more difficult journey of adjustment, and some don't ever really adjust.
 
G

Gravy Boat

Member
Ron Mexico said:
I edited my post at the end a bit as you were replying. I vehemently believe that there are reasons beyond selfishness, but there was something lost along all the side arguments there and things got off course. I'll never apologize for the truth, but I will for it sounding like you were the one riding the selfishness wave. My fault.
Click to expand...

Of course there are other valid reasons for not having kids beyond selfishness, I've never said it was the only reason. Which is why I don't understand why that other poster is so upset. There are as many reasons to not have kids are there are to have them. I just made a post saying I admired the ones who admitted it was for selfish reasons.

I obviously accept your apology, and I apologise in return if I came across judgemental. You do you, I'm not judging anyone here.
 
G

Goofalo

Member
I am child-free.

Although I did want a wife and kids.

But then I got cancer, and it doesn't seem fair to have someone fall in love with me, or to have kids and then rob them of their father when they are still young.

That is the shittiest part of cancer for me.
 
T

TickleMeElbow

Member
Goofalo said:
I am child-free.

Although I did want a wife and kids.

But then I got cancer, and it doesn't seem fair to have someone fall in love with me, or to have kids and then rob them of their father when they are still young.

That is the shittiest part of cancer for me.
Click to expand...

Duuuuuuude

I don't have cancer yet, but it's a realistic possibility that I'll get it at some point.

Are you getting treatment? If you don't mind me asking....
 
G

Goofalo

Member
TickleMeElbow said:
Duuuuuuude

I don't have cancer yet, but it's a realistic possibility that I'll get it at some point.

Are you getting treatment? If you don't mind me asking....
Click to expand...

Yeah.

The problem is...I can't have chemotherapy. I have a unique allergy to it. It gave me a massive heart attack. So, without the chemo, it'll probably metastasize to other internal organs and then it's dunzo from there.
 
T

TickleMeElbow

Member
Goofalo said:
Yeah.

The problem is...I can't have chemotherapy. I have a unique allergy to it. It gave me a massive heart attack. So, without the chemo, it'll probably metastasize to other internal organs and then it's dunzo from there.
Click to expand...

That's heavy.

I really don't know what to say man.

Let's just hope whatever treatment you're getting works.
 
G

Goofalo

Member
My treatment is doing what I want. Smoking weed. Not getting angry about pretty much most things in life and just enjoying what I got while I got it.

Except Trump. That motherfucker harshes my mellow.
 
C

Conkersbadfurday

Member
I'll never have kids. I think i'd be a shitty father for one, but I just don't want the responsibility. Plus other than my cats, I'm incapable of love.

Also free time and money are awesome.
 
M

MisterShine

Member
BocoDragon said:
Reproduction isn't a "purpose" though. That isn't a "reason to exist"....
Click to expand...

Phu said:
There is no reason life has to exist or perpetuate. Reproduction is what life tends to do, not what it has to do. DNA doesn't 'try' to do anything, it simply does.
Click to expand...

Exactly. What it does is its purpose.

\1.
the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.
2.
an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.
/

Life creates more life because that is what it does- organic molecules not only can, but must make more of itself, it's just chemistry! That is purpose. We only exist because our genes were suitable enough to pass on. By not reproducing, you are denying your purpose, the only reason you exist in the first place.

That is your choice** to make though, of course.

**
free will doesn't exist so no it isn't your choice
 
nkarafo

nkarafo

Member
I live in Greece

Most people of my generation (30+) wont have children there because there is no way to raise them.

Me and most of my friends can't even afford living by ourselves.
 
Darklor01

Darklor01

Might need to stop sniffing glue
Can't afford a pet, so, kids are out. Don't want to put a kid through life where his/her parents can't provide, and possibly destroy a good marriage. My wife is all that I need.
 
K

Keri

Member
Having a child is the hardest and most amazing thing I've ever done in my life, but if you're someone who doesn't want a child and doesn't find meaning in sharing your life with a child, it will just be a nightmare. To give an example, I'm coming down with a cold right now and am super tired, but I can't focus on my needs, because I have a small child. And, I'm completely OK with that, because he genuinely means more to me and I find a lot of meaning and value, in watching him grow. If I fell asleep without reading him a bedtime story, I would legitimately feel sad, even though I'm really tired. If you don't find value in that (which is totally OK), then it will probably just feel like you are being tortured and you'll probably be resentful.

So, definitely don't have them, if you don't want them. (And that's A-OK).

I always find these discussions to be really fascinating though. It's such a big decision, either way. I love hearing the different reasons people have, for choosing which route they go.
 
V

vegohead

Member
I Have only considered adoption but I'm nowhere near the financial and legal standing to fit the the criteria of a adopter. Maybe in 5 to 10 years, when I'm in my early thirties I'll be ready. (I hope)
 
M

Mik2121

Member
As a father, I definitely hope nobody that said he or she wants to be kid free, ever has a kid indeed. It's a big responsibility and with that mindset, you are probably going to fail at it. So for the sake of that potential kid, yeah, don't have one.

I can understand not wanting because you want to live your life by yourself and whatnot. What gets me is the whole environment stuff and all the other craziness.
 
Y

yrba1

Member
Don't see anything wrong with either side, the problem begins when one side starts getting offended by statements like "kids are a real pain in the ass" or "our purpose in life is to reproduce".

I've seen both sides of the story and I can respect both the child free camp wanting to defer to kids because of emotional or financial constraints, and the child rearing camp because of how intrinsically fulfilling it is to them; I just expect the childrearing party to thick skin opinions about how toxic kids can be because most of us say it with zero intent of attacking you personally. I also hope the childfree group can at least tone down the hyperbole about kids being little demon spawns from the 5th dimension.

The bottom line is both sides doesn't like being told what to do with their lives.

Also, just peeked into the /r/childfree. Found a story of some Slavic person threatened by her grandmother about hiring someone to rape her so that she'll have a child. Whether the story is true or not, that's morbidly horrifying to have the audacity to joke statements like that.

Source
 
F

Fou-Lu

Member
I don't plan on having children. I am young, but the thought just doesn't interest me. Kids are expensive, and take up a lot of time. I have bad genes and don't really like children anyway. I want to travel, have hobbies, etc. The only thing that I worry about is leaving the world to the ignorant, but hey my kid could end up ignorant too!
 
P

Phu

Banned
MisterShine said:
Exactly. What it does is its purpose.

\1.
the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.
2.
an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.
/

Life creates more life because that is what it does- organic molecules not only can, but must make more of itself, it's just chemistry! That is purpose. We only exist because our genes were suitable enough to pass on. By not reproducing, you are denying your purpose, the only reason you exist in the first place.

That is your choice** to make though, of course.

**
free will doesn't exist so no it isn't your choice
Click to expand...

You can't say both 'life creates more life because that is what it does' and then follow it up by saying 'by not reproducing, you are denying your purpose.'

Clearly, by not reproducing, you are not creating more life, meaning that is not de facto 'what it does'. Especially with the follow up being that true choice isn't real, so a denial is not a true denial anyway, meaning people are predestined to betray what they are destined to do.
 
G

Gaius Cassius

Member
May sound harsh, but in my view you'd have to be either a complete idiot or in complete denial on the state of the planet and country to want kids right now. ..Or perhaps one enjoys the idea of adding to the planet's existing problems right now and probably dooming your offspring to a shitty existence and end?

I fucking love it when I meet religious friends with lots of kids who don't see the problem and and add to it. Jesus will solve all I guess.
 
Z

Zelenogorsk

Banned
I've never once had the desire to have a kid and I've never had an interaction with a kid that made me think "yeah I'd like kids someday." I've also never held a baby.

Plus I only make around $12,000 a year and I really don't have any desire to climb the career ladder. I don't even have a bachelor's degree and I'm not sure i'll ever get one so if I had a kid it would ruin me financially. No way I could afford to take care of another living being.
 
V

Vidal

Member
Married for 5 years, no kids. We really thought about it and decided that we will check every 5 years, and the new polls just came through and 100% of the votes were for no children for the next term.
 
J

JimmyRustler

Member
I'm 31 now and think it's highly unlikely that I'll ever have children. But I am open for the idea if I ever find someone who I'm sure ai can tackle the task with.
 
D

Decado

Member
No kids and I'm hoping my fiancee stays on the same page as I. Occasionally get worried as fuck that she will change her mind. Had always been on the fence but seemed to have come around to my view over the past year.

I don't want to change my lifestyle. I'm an only child and don't like being around kids.
Also suspect a kid would be the end of us one way or another.
 
H

Holyoneturtle

Member
In the past year lots of thoughts have gone through my mind about not having a child. At this moment however, if i find my so then I could be swayed to either way.
 
A

Alchemy

Member
I have type 1 diabetes, celiac disease, and a few other problems. I'm not a selfish enough prick to throw that DNA back into the pool.
 
C

Castorp

Member
32y old, childfree and don't want children.
-i don't see the purpose of it
-7billions people is enough
-don't like children

I usually don't tell i don't want children. If i say so, people always say "you'll change your mind in a few years" and don't want to believe it.
 
C

CaviarMeths

Member
28 with no kids and no plans for them in the foreseeable future, for a few reasons. I actually like kids, but I'm not in a position financially to raise my own. Also not really a relationship person (been single for several years now and no real desire to change that), but wouldn't want to do it alone.

If I do have a kid, it would be later in life. Maybe around 40.
 
highrider

highrider

Banned
I never intended to have have children, but then I did. One thing I can say is that I had no real perception of what the experience was until I did. It's different when you're ' the parent '. You really are only getting an impression of parenthood in your dealings with other's children. I respect the decision to want to avoid the responsibility, it's a lot. That actually suggests a competence at the decision making ability you need. Unfortunately, there's plenty of far less capable parents that will pick up the slack.
 
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