For the past 3 weeks I have been sarging a local university campus after school trying to get over my approach anxiety. I have done extremely well. Some days not so much, but I am seeing a great improvement in general. Used to, the very thought of approaching a hot girl would give me anxiety, but now I can talk to them like it's no big deal.
I admit it was dark when I did my last approach for the day, a 2 set walking to their dorm. I ran up to them and said, "hey you guys. Relax, this is not a robbery. I just have to tell you I saw you guys back there and I thought you were really cute and I had to come say hi." They laughed, so I introduced myself. Afterward, they started to walk away. I tried to save the set by saying, "so where are you guys going right now?" And they said back to their dorm. I ejected at that point, and told them it was nice meeting them and left. (Keep in mind I have NO GAME yet.)
About 15 minutes later I go back to my car, get in and a cop in an SUV pulls up next to me.
"I need you to step out of the car. I'm campus police."
I thought "what the hell did I do?" But complied anyway. Once I stepped out, he radioed a bunch of cops and they all surrounded me. I was scared shitless. "What did I do?" I asked. "You're creeping people out." He said. He asked me where I had been recently and I told him what I was doing. Then I proceeded to tell him the whole story-how I was trying to improve my skills with women by talking to as many as I could. Then the cop behind me chimed in and berated me. They said the girls got scared when I told them "this is not a robbery." I tried to explain it some more, I said that as halfway a joke and half way to keep them from thinking that, to no effect. That's a line I got from Sasha Daygame for God's sake. "You're a fucking weirdo." He said, "and I consider you a threat to the mental health of my campus."
They checked my car out, took my picture, wrote down my information and told me that if I ever set foot on campus again I will go to jail for criminal trespassing. At that point, I began to question myself. What the hell am I doing? Am I really a weirdo?
But then again, I thought, is this really THAT weird? Is it wrong for a guy to try to better himself by facing his fears and talking to women? Can a guy who is deficient in an area not seek to improve himself?
I have been doing stuff like Simple Pickup does, saying random stupid things to people to try to get over self consciousness. Going and asking, "excuse me, do you know where I can find some wieners? Like, hot dogs. Or penises." Stuff like that, stuff completely out of the norm. I do that for an hour or so until I feel confident enough to directly approach. I did that probably 30 or 40 times today. What happens is when I do that I get so comfortable being weird, that I pick up a really weird and creepy vibe sometimes. I could feel it tonight. At first when I went out, I would get over my AA and then I would feel absolutely invincible. I would be so confident and so charismatic, at one point I befriended the entire Starbucks workers, and even got free tea. I also got to stand by their fan behind the counter while they made my drink because it was too hot. I befriended the lonely security guard, made countless women feel great about themselves.
My friend even sent me a tweet from a girl I didn't know on campus (that he apparently followed on twitter) said, "Some random guy just approached me and told me that I am beautiful, then walked away. #daymade" or something to that effect. But now for some reason when I go out I get fearless, but I also get socially stupid. I don't feel like a fucking boss like I did earlier on, when my charisma was at it's peak and my social skills soared, letting me know that deep down I really am an awesome guy, it's just the fear of being social that kept me down.
I really don't know what to do now. This was basically the ONLY place I can besides the mall which I have sarged out the employees and people that have frequent it. Where do I go to do daygame now? Am I really just a weirdo? Do I not have what it takes to become a PUA? Maybe the cops were right. Maybe I'm just doomed to being a loser my whole life. Maybe nobody wants to talk to me. Maybe I just creep people out.
I understand that what I am saying and doing is, in fact, very weird. I mean, who just goes out and talks to a bunch of random people? This is what stopped me from actually approaching women for such a long time. That's exactly why I would just sit at home and study game then go out and chicken out. It just didn't feel natural-because it wasn't natural. However now I can talk to basically ANYBODY with no fear whatsoever. I have humiliated myself in front of tons of hot girls, I feel like I'm at the point now where I can stop using the weird openers and stuff and just start trying to become socially intelligent once again, but now I have no place to sarge.
The cop said I could come back if I emailed the police chief and had him appeal the charge or something like that. I guess I'll try. But from now on I'll be remembered on the whole campus as "that creepy guy". So what's really the point?
I need some serious guidance here guys. What do I do now? Do I continue on? Do I quit? I want more than anything to become amazing with women and be a complete natural, in doing so finding who I really am and sculpting myself into a guy 10. I have a plan in mind on how I am going to do it, and every day I work toward my goal. I really want to just keep pressing on, even if it means standing ten feet away from campus and doing my day game. I don't want to let anything stand in the way of my success, but then again, I have to question whether or not I'm just delusional and if maybe this isn't for me. Maybe I have a hidden mental illness keeping me from this or something.
But enough rambling, please give me some guidance guys. I need it now more than ever.
