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[oxrock]

Part of me wishes I could have seen her face react when you suggested "how about three minutes"

The other part of me thinks I'm better off not experiencing that level of cringe.

I cringe and feel awkward just reading his post, I might have PTSD flashbacks of the event if I'd witnessed it in person. But I kind of want to witness it.... for science!

 

[Scotia]

and then I say "How about for three minutes?"

 

[Shredderi]

Jesus Christ, OP. You sound creepy stalkerish weird.

Here's the first tip you need: girls are just people, too. They're just like you. Weird, i know, but it's true.

Well, okay, not just like you. They wouldn't walk up and say something like, "hey, you got three minutes for me to peg you in the ass in my car?". Because that would be creepy and weird.

Just hang out and get to know someone. Ask them on a date, like hey wanna check out that movie or go grab some food with me? Not, "Female - come and have nutritional sustenance at a defined hour followed by me digitally penetrating you for exactly 180 seconds."

If a girl wants to get physical, she'll let you know.

Everyone is a fucking stalker these days.

 

[Milly Osworth]

Be honest now OP, did this really happen or is this made up for GAF fame? I can't imagine anyone ever acting like this.

 

[half a moon]

lol can i finger fuck you for 3 minutes

 

[Jack The Nipper]

I think you should apologize and go with the sorry I was being a creep line you said before. After all, it is you and what you would do and that makes got more interesting things anyways. Playing it off as others said isn't you.

 

[kai3345]

oh my god

 

[HowZatOZ]

Why is GAF so weird. Never change.

 

[bidguy]

ill try this on tinder later

 

[H2Yo]

WOW, no offence but that story really creeped me out. Strangely enough, the moment you mentioned you wanted to 'finger her', I thought "Gee, this guy sounds like he has never even kissed a girl" and sure enough...

Look bottom line is this, you fucked up but next time maybe just go with the flow. You should never have to ask to kiss someone, it just shows the lack of confidence. You'll know when it's time, just enjoy your time with a person and be patient.

 

[Red Liquorice]

Why three minutes though? Why not five, 10, 15?

I mean beyond it being odd to begin with I just like nice rounded time frames.

 

[Nachos]

Self-awareness isn't thinking of the worst possible thing to say, and then making it worse by framing it in terms of your insecurities. It's keeping that thought to yourself.

"if I pay for your chipotle we can go back to your car for three minutes, right?"

A $8 per 3 minute ratio is pretty good. Buy her $800 worth of food, and you've just bought yourself into a date.

 

[Hjod]

I can imagine if OP got what he wanted, screaming all terrified "What do you mean it doesn't go straight in!?"

OP, next time, do the work ask the nice lady out for dinner like normal people.

And that username and a pokemon avatar, lol.

 

[Timedog]

Everything is fucked now. Everything all around all of us is fucked forever.

 

[Red Liquorice]

I think you should apologize and go with the sorry I was being a creep line you said before. After all, it is you and what you would do and that makes got more interesting things anyways. Playing it off as others said isn't you.

I think this is good advice.

You're going to see her in class and around so apologize and say you hope she wasn't weirded out but you enjoyed her company but went about it the wrong way and hope you can still be study buddies or whatever.

fyi - the apology is for her, not wiping the slate clean for a second chance.

 

[LiveFromKyoto]

Going and asking, "excuse me, do you know where I can find some wieners? Like, hot dogs. Or penises." Stuff like that, stuff completely out of the norm. I do that for an hour or so until I feel confident enough to directly approach. I did that probably 30 or 40 times today.

*applause*

 

[H2Yo]

Bwahaha this wins. By far.

 

[Rayis]

Op, that was awful, never ask someone if they want to fool around like that (

Spoiler

though I'm open to the suggestion if you still do want to fool around, I'll take care of your blue balls

 

[quickwhips]

Okay you might have a point, but I didn't think she was a good match for me dating wise she cute and whatnot but we don't have much in common. Maybe this is due to my inexperience, but the dates I have gone on in the past went nowhere and I was out $20 bucks. And that was with girls I thought I had chemistry with.

Look in the mirror and ask why do I think this way. Dating is to get to know someone.

 

[Sai-kun]

Hahaaaaaa what the fuck am I reading??? Helppppp

 

[HalfBakedProphet]

The story of the creepy study buddy probably spread like wildfire amongst her friends and casual acquaintances.

If it feels like everyone is staring at you the next time you're on campus, they are.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

OP, where you failed is that you should have told her you'll sniff your fingers after you finger bang her. That'll get her really wet.

 

[Number_6]

Holy fucking shit. I'm laughing so hard my cat came to check if I'm okay.

 

[brandonh83]

We talked, there were laughs, so time to get my fingers out.

 

[j0hnnix]

Too early for this.. My stomach is hurting from all the laughing.

 

[Kain-Nosgoth]

wow, that's really bad.... but i wish i had the balls to do something like that (not use the same words at all, neither the same proposition, but still..)

so there's that going for you OP, just try an other, more sensible approach and you will certainly succeed

 

[MsKrisp]

We study, she has a good time, she finds me pretty funny so there were a lot of laughs going around. It was at this point I had planned to ask her if she wanted to "fool around" in her car before she left for class.

Fooling around was me thinking we could make out or me finger her or whatever, but I digress...

You assume she found you funny, so you figured that could lead to fingering? need to work on reading signals

She asked what does "fool around" mean.

She's caught off guard here

"How about for three minutes?"

Here's where you really blew it (especially since she already said no). This is the point where she could smell the desperation like a wet fart

this was my first real shot at getting involved with girls again

If you think this was a real shot... I mean I guess sometimes you can go from laughs to fingering but it usually happens spontaneously over the books


Edit: Anyway thanks for the laughs, this was a great thread to start the morning

 

[entremet]

LOL.

what ever happened to asking the girl out first.

I think I'm out of touch with you hookup happy young millennials.

 

[Doominated]

Please tell me this was a joke thread

 

[fierrotlepou]

How about three minutes? lol

Should've offered her $40 while you were at it.

Right? If this is real: what the hell, man.

 

[Ray Wonder]

oh dear

 

[Shadybiz]

My Friday has just started off brilliantly. Thank you all.

 

[HandsomeCharles]

You are truly a god among men!

 

[General_Zod]

Maybe you should be getting love tips from elsewhere.

Gaf has you covered

 

[Macka]

You messed up, OP.

Should have offered to give her your 3DS in exchange for unlimited fooling around privileges.

 

[Solo]

Nothing crazy baby, just want to finger blast you in the car for a few minutes.

Laughed more at this than I should have.

 

[fallengorn]

I'd like to imagine if she said yes to three minutes, this would start playing in OP's head.

 

[sixteen-bit]

is this a troll thread

 

[BearPawB]

For the past 3 weeks I have been sarging a local university campus after school trying to get over my approach anxiety. I have done extremely well. Some days not so much, but I am seeing a great improvement in general. Used to, the very thought of approaching a hot girl would give me anxiety, but now I can talk to them like it's no big deal.

I admit it was dark when I did my last approach for the day, a 2 set walking to their dorm. I ran up to them and said, "hey you guys. Relax, this is not a robbery. I just have to tell you I saw you guys back there and I thought you were really cute and I had to come say hi." They laughed, so I introduced myself. Afterward, they started to walk away. I tried to save the set by saying, "so where are you guys going right now?" And they said back to their dorm. I ejected at that point, and told them it was nice meeting them and left. (Keep in mind I have NO GAME yet.)

About 15 minutes later I go back to my car, get in and a cop in an SUV pulls up next to me.

"I need you to step out of the car. I'm campus police."

I thought "what the hell did I do?" But complied anyway. Once I stepped out, he radioed a bunch of cops and they all surrounded me. I was scared shitless. "What did I do?" I asked. "You're creeping people out." He said. He asked me where I had been recently and I told him what I was doing. Then I proceeded to tell him the whole story-how I was trying to improve my skills with women by talking to as many as I could. Then the cop behind me chimed in and berated me. They said the girls got scared when I told them "this is not a robbery." I tried to explain it some more, I said that as halfway a joke and half way to keep them from thinking that, to no effect. That's a line I got from Sasha Daygame for God's sake. "You're a fucking weirdo." He said, "and I consider you a threat to the mental health of my campus."

They checked my car out, took my picture, wrote down my information and told me that if I ever set foot on campus again I will go to jail for criminal trespassing. At that point, I began to question myself. What the hell am I doing? Am I really a weirdo?

But then again, I thought, is this really THAT weird? Is it wrong for a guy to try to better himself by facing his fears and talking to women? Can a guy who is deficient in an area not seek to improve himself?

I have been doing stuff like Simple Pickup does, saying random stupid things to people to try to get over self consciousness. Going and asking, "excuse me, do you know where I can find some wieners? Like, hot dogs. Or penises." Stuff like that, stuff completely out of the norm. I do that for an hour or so until I feel confident enough to directly approach. I did that probably 30 or 40 times today. What happens is when I do that I get so comfortable being weird, that I pick up a really weird and creepy vibe sometimes. I could feel it tonight. At first when I went out, I would get over my AA and then I would feel absolutely invincible. I would be so confident and so charismatic, at one point I befriended the entire Starbucks workers, and even got free tea. I also got to stand by their fan behind the counter while they made my drink because it was too hot. I befriended the lonely security guard, made countless women feel great about themselves.

My friend even sent me a tweet from a girl I didn't know on campus (that he apparently followed on twitter) said, "Some random guy just approached me and told me that I am beautiful, then walked away. #daymade" or something to that effect. But now for some reason when I go out I get fearless, but I also get socially stupid. I don't feel like a fucking boss like I did earlier on, when my charisma was at it's peak and my social skills soared, letting me know that deep down I really am an awesome guy, it's just the fear of being social that kept me down.

I really don't know what to do now. This was basically the ONLY place I can besides the mall which I have sarged out the employees and people that have frequent it. Where do I go to do daygame now? Am I really just a weirdo? Do I not have what it takes to become a PUA? Maybe the cops were right. Maybe I'm just doomed to being a loser my whole life. Maybe nobody wants to talk to me. Maybe I just creep people out.

I understand that what I am saying and doing is, in fact, very weird. I mean, who just goes out and talks to a bunch of random people? This is what stopped me from actually approaching women for such a long time. That's exactly why I would just sit at home and study game then go out and chicken out. It just didn't feel natural-because it wasn't natural. However now I can talk to basically ANYBODY with no fear whatsoever. I have humiliated myself in front of tons of hot girls, I feel like I'm at the point now where I can stop using the weird openers and stuff and just start trying to become socially intelligent once again, but now I have no place to sarge.

The cop said I could come back if I emailed the police chief and had him appeal the charge or something like that. I guess I'll try. But from now on I'll be remembered on the whole campus as "that creepy guy". So what's really the point?

I need some serious guidance here guys. What do I do now? Do I continue on? Do I quit? I want more than anything to become amazing with women and be a complete natural, in doing so finding who I really am and sculpting myself into a guy 10. I have a plan in mind on how I am going to do it, and every day I work toward my goal. I really want to just keep pressing on, even if it means standing ten feet away from campus and doing my day game. I don't want to let anything stand in the way of my success, but then again, I have to question whether or not I'm just delusional and if maybe this isn't for me. Maybe I have a hidden mental illness keeping me from this or something.

But enough rambling, please give me some guidance guys. I need it now more than ever.

Is this a sincere post or a copypasta?
Just in case it's real.... stop. Please stop. Stop getting advice from pick up artists. Stop trying to be a pick up artist.

Women don't want to be harassed with dick jokes while trying to get to class.

Talking with women is fine!
Being abruptly sexual isn't!

 

[ClosingADoor]

It is kind of disturbing that you think this is acceptable interaction with someone. Good god man.

Next time, instead of asking to fool around between class, try: "was good seeing you again. How about we go out for a drink this weekend?"

 

[OG Shaka Zulu]

OP you need to hangout in a swamp and train with Yoda for a few before you approach another lady.

 

[Red UFO]

and then I say "How about for three minutes?"

 

[ViviOggi]

What did you think your fingers were gonna accomplish in three minutes that she can't do better herself?

Were you planning to ask a friend to smell your hand afterwards?

 

[Foggy]

Day made

 

[Suburban Thug]

Cringing so hard at the OP. Here's a protip: don't ask her to fool around unless you're dating or FWB. You probably came across as a desperate creep to be honest.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Maybe you should be getting love tips from elsewhere.

Gaf has you covered

This is amazing.

I want to see a follow-up.

 

[PixelatedBookake]

I just woke up, and jeez people think this is fake? Well, it's not. The tone of the moment, I could elaborate on, if it makes any difference. Not that it makes what I said anyless creepy. Since we joke around with each other in almost all our interactions, it came off as her not thinking I was serious and setting up a joke/bit. I don't think she takes me seriously and, reflecting on the whole thing, may have thought this was part of it. Just another aspect of this that may need some elaboration.

 

[Suburban Thug]

I just woke up, and jeez people think this is fake? Well, it's not. The tone of the moment, I could elaborate on, if it makes any difference. Not that it makes what I said anyless creepy. Since we joke around with each other in almost all our interactions, it came off as her not thinking I was serious and setting up a joke/bit. I don't think she takes me seriously and, reflecting on the whole thing, may have thought this was part of it. Just another aspect of this that may need some elaboration.

You think you know what she thinks but you don't. Your creepy sexual advance probably made her nervous which is why she reacted with a laugh but said no not once, but twice! I think it would be a good idea to apologize and not go around asking to finger blast women.

 

[Secret Fawful]

Is this you, OP?

 

[Strangelove77]

You asked her twice? I bet her legs closed up tight and fast like a bear trap after that second time.
Go apologize for being creepy.