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[Skellig Gra]

I would bail so hard. I have no patience for that shit.

 

[fatigues_gasolini]

Oh wow - I mean, I guess you found out when you got to your Dad's? That must have been awkward.

Nope, found out a few months later after a friend of hers told me she fucked some random dude here and 3 guys when she went to California for a furry convention.

I created a thread on it a few years ago that was pretty comical.

 

[Mesoian]

one of those things where people put too much emphasis on sex just like money and many other things. sex is more natural than the feelings you have

All she did was see some penis. I have to ask, why does it bother us so much for a person to go fuck when that is instinct of it all.

I mean, boils down to maybe she is a lot better around you for everything else but her getting some moans in would kill all of that and make you go away from her forever?

Not that I am saying what is right or wrong simply offering a perspective.

You can have sex with a man as a man and not be gay but to simply do it. For me, I wouldn't do what you are doing in the same instance, I'd just say something like do you want it? refering to his penis and more in a silly way and not a care or not care way

...with respect:

That sounds like a lot of "the ethics of promiscuity" bullshit. Even if it was the case where she wasn't sexually charged by OP, to go out and cheat instead of having a conversation about it is still unacceptable.

Also that last paragraph is some "Down Low" level of denial.

Nope, found out a few months later after a friend of hers told me she fucked some random dude here and 3 guys when she went to California for a furry convention.

I created a thread on it a few years ago that was pretty comical.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I'm trying so hard to not generalize in my head right now. All I can say is that I'm sorry that happened to you, that really sucks.

 

[thiscoldblack]

OP, it has been more than 2 hours since you've created this thread. Don't wait for her arrival. Save yourself from the impending stressful show of confronting her. It won't do you any better. You've already stated that the evidence is clear. There's nothing else to know.

Gather the evidence, pack your things, talk to the landlord, and move on.

 

[Clockwork5]

OP. Please listen to me.

This exact same thing happened to me. Confronted my girlfriend about it. She broke down in tears telling me how she seeks attention and there was nothing going on, she just enjoyed the "flirting." I told her this was cheating. She agreed and promised nothing would happen again. Said I could see her phone whenever I wanted.

3 months I continue this damn relationship. Jealousy consumes me and I don't trust the girl I'm with. She ends up not being so open with her phone. Long story short, I find out that after all that she ends up cheating on me. Has sex with another guy. She tries the same shit and I almost fell for it again. I hate myself for continuing that relationship.

It was such a huge mistake. It fucked me up.

Please don't make the same mistake I did.

Same thing happened to me. Get out any way you can.

Best of luck to you, OP. Surround yourself with people who care about you and move on.

 

[LoveCake]

Be honest and be clear that when you went to use the iPad like you always do, that was what popped up.

Wouldn't want to muddy the conversation with accusations of you snooping around (I'm taking your story at face value).

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

 

[Sushi Nao]

This is terrible advice. There are only a handful amount of people out there that are okay with being in an open relationship.

Ok? Let's all rage against our biology for the rest of our lives and ruin otherwise decent relationships because we're unable to handle a little bit of emotional uncertainty and difficult communication

 

[OCD Guy]

I'm desperately waiting for her to get home so OP can tell us her bullshit explanation.

She's called again (so twice in total).

She'll know somethings up, she knows I'm at home (day off) and I'd normally answer.

 

[Anticol]

OP, it has been more than 2 hours since you've created this thread. Don't wait for her arrival. Save yourself from the impending stressful show of confronting her. It won't do you any better. You've already stated that the evidence is clear. There's nothing else to know.

Gather the evidence, pack your things, talk to the landlord, and move on.

This OP, do this.

 

[Ploppee]

Sorry to hear that OP. Something similar happened to me (minus the pic), but I found out the same way. I confronted her about it and she appologised, but never said she would stop seeing/speaking to the guy. the relationship, or what was left of it kept going for about 3 months but during that time I was a paranoid wreck. I'm hindsight, I should have ended it then. In the end she packed her bags and left on Valentine's Day. I believe she is still with the guy now.

I'm in the UK, and we were both on a lease for our flat. When she moved out, she ended up still giving me her share of the rent. I imagine if her name wasn't on the contract it would have been a different story. But if you or her move out, then that could be a way to see the lease through until the end/give your months notice.

Definitely see the lease out if possible. This exact situation happened to me and the girl wasn't on the lease. We still had 3 months to go and I had 3 months of paying rent I couldn't afford. It fucking sucked and it turned me into a bitter hate filled fool for over a year.

Try and keep it as amicable and adult as possible. Be honest and open and if you deal with it responsibly and maturely then it will save you feeling like a bit of an idiot later down the line just for the satisfaction of a short lived outburst and you can look back at the experience as something you dealt with in a good way and something you grew from.

 

[Bandini]

OP, call your landlord and explain the situation. See how much it would cost to break the lease. Maybe they will be understanding and let you off the hook cheap.

 

[Dash_Riprock]

one of those things where people put too much emphasis on sex just like money and many other things. sex is more natural than the feelings you have

All she did was see some penis. I have to ask, why does it bother us so much for a person to go fuck when that is instinct of it all.

I mean, boils down to maybe she is a lot better around you for everything else but her getting some moans in would kill all of that and make you go away from her forever?

Not that I am saying what is right or wrong simply offering a perspective.

You can have sex with a man as a man and not be gay but to simply do it. For me, I wouldn't do what you are doing in the same instance, I'd just say something like do you want it? refering to his penis and more in a silly way and not a care or not care way

This is the stupidest post I've yet to read on GAF. And I've argued with Donald Trump supporters here.

 

[BokehKing]

I am suggesting that trying to have the OP doubt himself and his own actions as he's the one getting screwed in this situation, is not a good move.

Why are you trying to place blame on the victim here. Even if the did play videogames all day, they were living together and in a committed 4-year relationship. You don't just go sexting random dudes.

Stop trying to cast aspersions while the OP isn't in the wrong.

geezus what is with you people I'm not co signing the cheating, maybe she just never said anything, which would be her fault, not his. Seriously, ease up with thinking I'm victim blaming. I've been in relationships were even 20 minutes of video games became a fight. I mean we obviously know what she is capable of. Is it that far out there that in her fucked up head she grew resentment? That's her head case issue, not his.

 

[Hoo-doo]

I'm not blaming OP
I'm pointing something out that is very very common with females in relationships that get jealous of video games.

Very very common? Based on what, your extensive experience browsing /r9k/?

Christ dude. They are adults. If she had a problem with it she should have said so. There's no reason to act like the OP was neglecting his girlfriend for fucking video games just because he happened to touch his PS4.

Edit: let's just stop this conversation right here.

 

[Clockwork5]

Ok? Let's all rage against our biology for the rest of our lives and ruin otherwise decent relationships because we're unable to handle a little bit of emotional uncertainty and difficult communication

No just find someone else with the same values as yourself, OP.

Anyway, part of being in an open relationship is being open about it. Not soliciting dick pics to your iPad and talking about what you would do to said dick, while your boyfriend sits 5 feet away with no idea what is going on. That is fucking slimy behavior.

 

[Maoyama]

Well, it's a 2+ hour drive and I kinda have to justify the trip and related time dedication for all of that. Plus, it's way better to say "hey I'm in Orlando this weekend for a thong and I might have some free time if you want to meet up" rather than "hey I'm coming to Orlando in the hopes that you'll let me throw it in you".

Similar thing was going on with me but it was a 3-ish hour drive. What I did is schedule getting there around noon on a weekend and make plans to hang out, go outside, take a hike, go to a river, etc (If that's something you like). But tell her that it would be cool if you could crash at her place after that and leave at some point the next day.Make it clear that it can be sleeping on the floor, a couch, or whatever she's comfortable with. And its very important that you mean it. Even after driving all that time, if she doesn't want to sleep in the same bed as you, RESPECT that. That could also mean that she might not be comfortable with you evens staying at her place at all.

If it works out you get to spend an awesome day with someone and possibly have sex. If not, you still get a great day out of it.

 

[Chinese Cartoons]

This is the stupidest post I've yet to read on GAF. And I've argued with Donald Trump supporters here.

We have defence force for EVERYTHING.

 

[Insaniac]

Sorry to hear OP, that sucks.

 

[FunkyPajamas]

I'm desperately waiting for her to get home so OP can tell us her bullshit explanation.

I don't know man, I feel for OP. Not looking forward to that talk. Hopefully she's mature enough to recognize what she did and be honest about what her motivations were. If there's anything for OP to learn from this, I truly hope that he does and is able to move on a bit wiser.

OP, you seem like a cool cat. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Make sure you rely on your friends/hobbies and GAF for support. It's tough out there but things will get better, you know that. This will not be the end of your world.

 

[Kyne]

one of those things where people put too much emphasis on sex just like money and many other things. sex is more natural than the feelings you have

All she did was see some penis. I have to ask, why does it bother us so much for a person to go fuck when that is instinct of it all.

I mean, boils down to maybe she is a lot better around you for everything else but her getting some moans in would kill all of that and make you go away from her forever?

Not that I am saying what is right or wrong simply offering a perspective.

You can have sex with a man as a man and not be gay but to simply do it. For me, I wouldn't do what you are doing in the same instance, I'd just say something like do you want it? refering to his penis and more in a silly way and not a care or not care way

 

[ant_]

Same thing happened to me. Get out any way you can.

Best of luck to you, OP. Surround yourself with people who care about you and move on.

Any chance you can share your story man? Hearing from people that have gotten through it helps a lot.

 

[CraigerGamer]

She's called again (so twice in total).

She'll know somethings up, she knows I'm at home (day off) and I'd normally answer.

Just keep your cool, take a walk, and wait for her to get home. Have some stuff packed by then and then have a brief but straight forward conversation. Set up a time in a week to discuss the lease. Never speak to her again once the lease details are resolved.

Hit the gym.

 

[Mesoian]

Ok? Let's all rage against our biology for the rest of our lives and ruin otherwise decent relationships because we're unable to handle a little bit of emotional uncertainty and difficult communication

Nope, I read that wrong.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

geezus what is with you people I'm not co signing the cheating, maybe she just never said anything, which would be her fault, not his. Seriously, ease up with thinking I'm victim blaming. I've been in relationships were even 20 minutes of video games became a fight. I mean we obviously know what she is capable of. Is it that far out there that in her fucked up head she grew resentment? That's her head case issue, not his.

You're just taking this random situation from your own life and applying to it his and talking about what "females" do in such a scenario. It doesn't have anything to do with this thread.

 

[HitchcockInTheZiplock]

Honestly OP, if you know it's over, you should just ghost out and don't answer her calls or texts. She will know what she did, and you don't have to leave the dick pick lying around for her to figure it out. But only do it if you're really ready to move one from the relationship, otherwise you'll be sitting around wondering what she's doing, and too timid to try to contact her because you left without a word.

It might seem strange, but the only positive I can think of is if the one intimate dpic turned out to be several other dpics, hidden, with similar messaging, but it turns out she is a cam girl who's selling her whatsapp/kik/snapchat for money to help pay rent, and none of that dirty talk was anything past internet flirting.

I really doubt that it was just one dick pic in there.

 

[esms]

All these open relationship fellas need to pick a better thread. No one cares about how you're fine with other dudes slaying your girl.

 

[Slayer-33]

OP, it has been more than 2 hours since you've created this thread. Don't wait for her arrival. Save yourself from the impending stressful show of confronting her. It won't do you any better. You've already stated that the evidence is clear. There's nothing else to know.

Gather the evidence, pack your things, talk to the landlord, and move on.

Probably the best advice, kinda shitty though for you to have to do this shit after 4 years though. I don't know how I'd feel besides being pissed off at what she did..

If you feel like you need to talk to her do it, if not do what this dude said.

Look at the huge bright side, freedom.

 

[NeOak]

Well, it's a 2+ hour drive and I kinda have to justify the trip and related time dedication for all of that. Plus, it's way better to say "hey I'm in Orlando this weekend for a thong and I might have some free time if you want to meet up" rather than "hey I'm coming to Orlando in the hopes that you'll let me throw it in you". lol



We should organize (in another thread of course).

It's Orlando. Like, say that you're there for something in Downtown Disney or whatever they call it now. Simple as that.

 

[Lashley]

Sorry OP, that sucks

if she's flirting that still counts as cheating imo, especially if theyre sending dick pics

 

[zethren]

I don't know man, I feel for OP. Not looking forward to that talk. Hopefully she's mature enough to recognize what she did and be honest about what her motivations were. If there's anything for OP to learn from this, I truly hope that he does and is able to move on a bit wiser.

OP, you seem like a cool cat. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Make sure you rely on your friends/hobbies and GAF for support. It's tough out there but things will get better, you know that. This will not be the end of your world.

Agreed! Op, you definitely don't deserve this and you sound like a pretty solid dude. Unfortunately this just happens sometimes, and it doesn't sound to me like it's a reflection of you. You'll find someone better for sure.

Good luck, man!

 

[Pizza]

Forward the dick pick to her cellphone.

THIS

Then blow her up and kick her out

 

[Retsudo]

one of those things where people put too much emphasis on sex just like money and many other things. sex is more natural than the feelings you have

All she did was see some penis. I have to ask, why does it bother us so much for a person to go fuck when that is instinct of it all.

I mean, boils down to maybe she is a lot better around you for everything else but her getting some moans in would kill all of that and make you go away from her forever?

Not that I am saying what is right or wrong simply offering a perspective.

You can have sex with a man as a man and not be gay but to simply do it. For me, I wouldn't do what you are doing in the same instance, I'd just say something like do you want it? refering to his penis and more in a silly way and not a care or not care way

You are out of your mind. Seriously.

 

[FunkyPajamas]

I'm not blaming OP
I'm pointing something out that is very very common with females in relationships that get jealous of video games.

Dude, I hate being that guy, but... red flag.

She's called again (so twice in total).

She'll know somethings up, she knows I'm at home (day off) and I'd normally answer.

What do you want to do, OP? Would you feel better talking to her on the phone and arranging for her to pick her (already packed) stuff, or do you want to wait for her to be there to have the talk?

I would suggest that you weigh your options between what will make you feel better now and what will give you a faster/cleaner closure on this whole mess.

Stay strong.

 

[The Blackrose]

Sorry for your soon to be terminated relationship, OP. You do you.

Sorry that you also have to deal with the poly crowd that won't take a hint that you're in a monogamous relationship, that those were the terms of the relationship, and that going poly will not magically fix everything.

 

[Skellig Gra]

Ok? Let's all rage against our biology for the rest of our lives and ruin otherwise decent relationships because we're unable to handle a little bit of emotional uncertainty and difficult communication

You are full of shit. "Decent" relationships are built on trust. Sneaking around is a clear violation of that.

 

[Kiyamon]

She's called again (so twice in total).

She'll know somethings up, she knows I'm at home (day off) and I'd normally answer.

She must have realized what she did, i.e. left the website up. I say move on... do it civilly... it will be hard but not point in going ape sh*t.

She would not be doing this if she felt your relationship was fine on her end.

 

[creatchee]

Similar thing was going on with me but it was a 3-ish hour drive. What I did is schedule getting there around noon on a weekend and make plans to hang out, go outside, take a hike, go to a river, etc (If that's something you like). But tell her that it would be cool if you could crash at her place after that and leave at some point the next day.Make it clear that it can be sleeping on the floor, a couch, or whatever she's comfortable with. And its very important that you mean it. Even after driving all that time, if she doesn't want to sleep in the same bed as you, RESPECT that. That could also mean that she might not be comfortable with you evens staying at her place at all.

If it works out you get to spend an awesome day with someone and possibly have sex. If not, you still get a great day out of it.

Thank you for the suggestions! Fun activities would at least give me a justification for the time commitment.

 

[Moff]

Ok? Let's all rage against our biology for the rest of our lives and ruin otherwise decent relationships because we're unable to handle a little bit of emotional uncertainty and difficult communication

again, no one is saying poly is wrong
but both need to agree to it
this was not poly
trust was established, she has proven herself untrustworthy
trust is important
it's not going to work anymore

 

[Slayer-33]

She's called again (so twice in total).

She'll know somethings up, she knows I'm at home (day off) and I'd normally answer.

Maybe text her back and tell her, "I found your little conversation, what's up with that?"

-nm don't do it lol..

 

[i-Lo]

In the time you've known her (over 4 years), did you ever discuss where each of you draw the line regarding fidelity?
And could it have changed over the years given how nonchalantly she carried on with iPad last night?

 

[Pancake Mix]

Stop shoving "open relationships" down people's throats OpenGAF! The OP wasn't in one so your personal preference is not relevant! She cheated on him or was about to.

 

[Negaduck]

Hey there OP, very sorry to hear about this incident. I was cheated on and found out through her phone as well.

My advice would be adult about it, talk to her about it, confront her and leave. Don't try to sabotage her or ruin her stuff or anything like that. You've been hurt but I think you should (after confronting her about it) handle the situation, wash your hands of it and leave.

There is no need to ruin her life as some posts have suggested, revenge doesn't lead anywhere. I hope for the best for you OP. Hate reading these threads, it's such a shitty feeling getting cheated on.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Ok? Let's all rage against our biology for the rest of our lives and ruin otherwise decent relationships because we're unable to handle a little bit of emotional uncertainty and difficult communication

Open relationships are communicated and decided upon outside of a hurried solution to infidelity. This is idiotic.

Regardless, OP's girlfriend already "ruined an otherwise decent relationship" with this. That's not a person you want to enter an open relationship with.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Upper decker into her toilet. It's the only way OP.

 

[Shadow Broker]

Maybe text her back and tell her, "I found your little conversation, what's up with that?"

No! Don't do this. It'll give her time for a cover story with friends and build a arguement that could throw you off.


Just keep cool if/when you confront her and if you feel yourself getting heated walk away.

 

[Lashley]

In the time you've known her (over 4 years), did you ever discuss where each of you draw the line regarding fidelity?
And could it have changed over the years given how nonchalantly she carried on with iPad last night?

If it had changed, why the fuck would the OP be this hurt?

C'mon

 

[Eila]

make the dickpic the ipads wallpaper and see what happens

This happened to me once but with hentai.
I don't keep it around anymore.

 

[giancarlo123x]

Leave, don't look back. You deserve better my dude.

 

[MrS]

This happened to me once but with hentai.
I don't keep it around anymore.

neogaf.gif

 

[Astral]

I don't know man, I feel for OP. Not looking forward to that talk. Hopefully she's mature enough to recognize what she did and be honest about what her motivations were. If there's anything for OP to learn from this, I truly hope that he does and is able to move on a bit wiser.

OP, you seem like a cool cat. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Make sure you rely on your friends/hobbies and GAF for support. It's tough out there but things will get better, you know that. This will not be the end of your world.

What I'm worried is OP uncontrollably exploding or falling victim to crying or something. Don't do it OP. Be the adult. Don't argue, don't raise your voice, don't succumb to any emotional behavior from her or yourself. I think calmly confronting her about would be the best course of action. That said, I would so fucking want revenge. When I got cheated on I wanted to get back at her by sleeping with her best friend because she would get really jealous about how much we would get along. Drama happened and they stopped being best friends and the best friend changed her number. I'm glad that number changed because my anger would have probably gotten the best of me. I'm terrible. Don't get angry OP. At least not in front of her.