Dios Mio
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I told my girlfriend she had an imaginary friend..
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Dios Mio
DistortionOfReality
Member
Ice cold.
More Fun To Compute
Member
She sounds like a rebellious woman who doesn't stay calm and demure when a man is talking. You shouldn't have a relationship with a woman who doesn't know her proper position under god. You were right to test her this way brother. (am I doing it right I don't want to appear like an atheist)
1.21Gigawatts
Banned
You were kind of rude OP, but on the other hand, she is constantly rude to you, too, in that regard.
I think this is to big of an issue to be overlooked. Maybe you should rethink having kids together.
I think this is to big of an issue to be overlooked. Maybe you should rethink having kids together.
OP, religious people WILL get angry when a core part of their beliefs is ridiculed and dismissed. That's pretty obvious.
Still, if you have such a difference of opinion on child-rearing and long-time life in general, you probably shouldn't try to salvage this - unless you're ready to give up points.
Still, if you have such a difference of opinion on child-rearing and long-time life in general, you probably shouldn't try to salvage this - unless you're ready to give up points.
Risible
Member
If ever there was a time for the Pinocchio dead GIF, this would be it. Bravo.
Or, treat others how you'd want to be treated. OP (and yourself) probably wouldn't appreciate the reverse. A religious person going off on them about how they're going to rot in hell for being a non believer.
It's not treating others like babies. It's about not being a baby and letting others beliefs get to you.
Woody Invincible
Banned
As long as you felt euphoric after it was all said and done.
Honestly, while you were disrespectful, respect is a two-way street. If she can't cope with the fact that you don't believe in a higher power and you can't cope with the fact that she does, maybe this relationship wasn't really gonna work out in the end after all.
This. It's better for her because you will always make fun of her and then she's hurt and you will be like "Come on it was just a joke, can't I joke anymore. Is it against your God to joke? HAHAHAHAHAHA... uhm sorry babe really sorry wont happen again...."
As an atheist, I'll say one of the worst things we can do is completely belittle the beliefs of others. Because remember, all of it probably means little to nothing to us, and that apathy can blind atheists to the feelings of others. This is a big enough issue to tear families apart, even if the idea of anything faith-related guiding our lives or relationships is a foreign concept to us.
I said the same kinds of things to people when I was much younger, before I developed a real understanding and appreciation of the beliefs of others - why they have them, how they shape their everyday lives, why it's right to respect them.
That said I can't tell you how to live your life or express your own beliefs. And we can't always anticipate how people will react.
Edit: I mean look at this way. How often have your feelings been hurt on a personal level when someone claims atheists are amoral or immoral. Or that we don't deserve the right to vote, cannot be trusted, etc. It's a different kind of patronizing and insult, but it comes from essentially the same place - even if there isn't any faith to shake or tradition and culture to be insulted.
I said the same kinds of things to people when I was much younger, before I developed a real understanding and appreciation of the beliefs of others - why they have them, how they shape their everyday lives, why it's right to respect them.
That said I can't tell you how to live your life or express your own beliefs. And we can't always anticipate how people will react.
Edit: I mean look at this way. How often have your feelings been hurt on a personal level when someone claims atheists are amoral or immoral. Or that we don't deserve the right to vote, cannot be trusted, etc. It's a different kind of patronizing and insult, but it comes from essentially the same place - even if there isn't any faith to shake or tradition and culture to be insulted.
Razorback
Member
I'd want to be treated with honesty. I would be extra insulted if I found out you think my beliefs are so shaky that you soften your blows to spare my feelings.
It's just as honest to say
We have a difference in beliefs. I don't feel that way.
You shouldn't humour obvious delusions.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
Christ, dude, never go full on New Atheist.
They're terrible scientists and science spokesmen.
They're terrible scientists and science spokesmen.
It is possible to behave honestly without being a condescending prick, though.
What OP said to his girlfriend wasn't honest, it was patronizing.
If you can't see that then maybe loosen the fedora a little bit, it's cutting off blood to your superior atheist brain
MilkyJoe
Member
To be fair it's not like it's not true ha ha
OP - Lets be honest, you really want to be middle aged living with a bible thumper? I'd bail.
Much easier to be a dick to someone with religious beliefs, I agree.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
oop. doable post.
Razorback
Member
The exact opposite of what you said is true. He was honest. You're suggesting he should hide who he is to his gf, and treat her with kid gloves, like she's some sort of idiot.
That's the definition of patronizing.
Also, the fedora bit is getting a little trite.
The idea that the singularity that contained every element that would ever exist in the universe in a single infinitely dense point came from nothing is just as miraculous and unbelievable as the idea that the universe was created, to me.
Especially when you consider we will likely be able to simulate entire universes of our own in our lifetime. There is nothing that the Abrahamic God(s) do that we won't be able to do in the future, so the notion that it's so "obvious" that God doesn't exist, when it's something that literally can't be disproven yet (spaghetti monster), is just as dumb as believing in God for no reason.
Either way you're not Neil DeGrasse Tyson, OP. You're not really in a position to laugh at your girlfriend, who for all intents and purposes, is just as blindly faithful as you are. I really doubt you're scientifically literate enough on entropy and astrophysics to have the confidence to back up you being a dick like that. Like a guy who watches a youtube video on a subject and thinks of themselves as an expert.
And either way she shouldn't want to be with you anyways cuz youre showing youre the kind of guy who treats people who in your eyes (very important) are wrong like theyre trash in the presence of your kingliness, which at the end of the day, whether God is real or not, means you're a dick. Think about what it means to believe in God, to her. You're literally making fun of her idea of the universe.
Especially when you consider we will likely be able to simulate entire universes of our own in our lifetime. There is nothing that the Abrahamic God(s) do that we won't be able to do in the future, so the notion that it's so "obvious" that God doesn't exist, when it's something that literally can't be disproven yet (spaghetti monster), is just as dumb as believing in God for no reason.
Either way you're not Neil DeGrasse Tyson, OP. You're not really in a position to laugh at your girlfriend, who for all intents and purposes, is just as blindly faithful as you are. I really doubt you're scientifically literate enough on entropy and astrophysics to have the confidence to back up you being a dick like that. Like a guy who watches a youtube video on a subject and thinks of themselves as an expert.
And either way she shouldn't want to be with you anyways cuz youre showing youre the kind of guy who treats people who in your eyes (very important) are wrong like theyre trash in the presence of your kingliness, which at the end of the day, whether God is real or not, means you're a dick. Think about what it means to believe in God, to her. You're literally making fun of her idea of the universe.
I think alot of atheists don't understand that hardcore religious people put that religion as the foundation for their life. So yeah, for you its "Let's let the child choose" but for her it's "let's potentially let the child grow up without the strength of God and maybe even send them to everlasting torment." So I think if both sides aren't down with the whole choice thing it's not really gonna work out.
spindashing
Banned
I think the OP treated his girlfriend like an idiot when he said that all to her.
That wasn't respectful. That was a full-on smug response.
Pretty much this. As someone semi-raised as a Catholic (I'm an atheist), and surrounded by Catholics since an early age....Catholics gonna Catholic.
That said, I definitely understand your reservations regarding her forcing that religion on your future children. I don't know why the convo came up, as I don't know how serious you two are, or how long you have been together.
Get the fuck out of this relationship if you haven't already
Fudgepuppy
Banned
I would bail immediately if my gf said she was planning on making our kids catholic no matter the cost.
meltingparappa
Member
Any relationship will eventually involve fights that make you hate their very existence for a few hours at a time, over the stupidest things like a partner buying the wrong toothpaste, before you both get perspective and realize how much you care about one another.
Politics and religion are such a core part of a person's identity, and so for the next time you are wading into the dating pool, it's so much easier to start generally eye-to-eye with a partner on those two components and build from there.
Politics and religion are such a core part of a person's identity, and so for the next time you are wading into the dating pool, it's so much easier to start generally eye-to-eye with a partner on those two components and build from there.
teruterubozu
Member
fixed
Gnome Scat
Member
Yeah it's over; don't mock things that are important to your partner.
BibiMaghoo
Member
This. What is the point when your beliefs are so fundamentally incompatible. I'd also question why discussions of children are taking place in a relationship where religious beliefs don't appear to have been discussed previously. That seems...well proper mental.
xKilltheMx
Member
Holy shit OP quote to his girlfriend is fucking hilarious.
That said, she's too religious for you and you need to bail the fuck out. My current gf is semi religious. I've gone to church for her once or twice (and wanted to kill myself halfway through the service) but if she was your like crazy girlfriend no matter how good the sex was I'd be out so fast mystical floating man in the sky would be hit by the sonic boom.
That said, she's too religious for you and you need to bail the fuck out. My current gf is semi religious. I've gone to church for her once or twice (and wanted to kill myself halfway through the service) but if she was your like crazy girlfriend no matter how good the sex was I'd be out so fast mystical floating man in the sky would be hit by the sonic boom.
acheron_xl
Member
It's never an issue, until it's a huge issue.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
You fucked up
The Albatross
Member
I'm an atheist/skeptic/non-believer/what-have-you, but people who hold religious beliefs, as long as those beliefs aren't abhorrent, deserve respect. Believing in the core tenets of Catholicism -- God, Jesus is the Son of Man, love everyone, respect people, help people -- is not abhorrent. Sure, there are plenty of anti-gay beliefs by the Church, but in my experience, most of the Catholics I know aspire to those core tenets without aspiring to the anti-gay marriage, anti-homosexuality stuff. They might say "I like the tradition and the community of the church, but I really wish there were female priests and that gays were accepted openly in the church." That's ok. You can still be Catholic and hold those beliefs.
When somebody belittles you for a non-abhorrent belief that you have, it hurts your feelings... Especially if that person is somebody who supposedly cares about you.
There are a lot of "beliefs" that I hold for whatever reason that probably wouldn't hold up against a microscope, or they're things that I don't bother thinking self-critically on, and if somebody who I cared about belittled me for them, then I'd feel bad about myself when I shouldn't and be mad at the person who did that.
If you're serious with this girl and she wants to raise your future kids Catholic, you have a decision to make about whether that's enough to not want to be with her. I was raised Catholic, and I'm not Catholic anymore, but I've turned out just fine. I'm sure when I was 8 I would have wanted to play Sonic instead of going to church for an hour on Sundays, but it wasn't really bad that... I would see friends from school after church, play football in the yard next to the church. I think that having that opportunity to grow up amongst Catholics in a Catholic environment and then eventually move away from it once I was an adult helps give me a richer perspective than I would have had otherwise, and I'm not upset about being raised to a particular religion and not holding it now.
When somebody belittles you for a non-abhorrent belief that you have, it hurts your feelings... Especially if that person is somebody who supposedly cares about you.
There are a lot of "beliefs" that I hold for whatever reason that probably wouldn't hold up against a microscope, or they're things that I don't bother thinking self-critically on, and if somebody who I cared about belittled me for them, then I'd feel bad about myself when I shouldn't and be mad at the person who did that.
If you're serious with this girl and she wants to raise your future kids Catholic, you have a decision to make about whether that's enough to not want to be with her. I was raised Catholic, and I'm not Catholic anymore, but I've turned out just fine. I'm sure when I was 8 I would have wanted to play Sonic instead of going to church for an hour on Sundays, but it wasn't really bad that... I would see friends from school after church, play football in the yard next to the church. I think that having that opportunity to grow up amongst Catholics in a Catholic environment and then eventually move away from it once I was an adult helps give me a richer perspective than I would have had otherwise, and I'm not upset about being raised to a particular religion and not holding it now.
AngmarsKing701
Member
Probably could've handled it better, but frankly this appears to be one of those insurmountable issues. While you didn't respect her, she's not exactly respecting you either by saying "my children will absolutely be Catholics."
In short: first post nails it. "Flee."
In short: first post nails it. "Flee."
D
Deleted member 752119
Unconfirmed Member
Yeah it's hard to make a relationship work between an atheist and someone who is very religious. Just polar opposite world views.
It can only work when both sides aren't militant about their views and both don't mind being with someone with different views. If kids are in the plans, then it really only works if both parties have the OP's views of giving them all the info and letting them decide on their own when they're old enough.
I gave up dating religous people ages ago. I just have a hard time respecting devout believers intellectually as I'm a very scientifically-oriented person and I'm really only attracted to the same. My fiancé is even more aggressive in her hatred of religion than I am so it works out great. ��
It can only work when both sides aren't militant about their views and both don't mind being with someone with different views. If kids are in the plans, then it really only works if both parties have the OP's views of giving them all the info and letting them decide on their own when they're old enough.
I gave up dating religous people ages ago. I just have a hard time respecting devout believers intellectually as I'm a very scientifically-oriented person and I'm really only attracted to the same. My fiancé is even more aggressive in her hatred of religion than I am so it works out great. ��
xKilltheMx
Member
This is a big thing too. I'd NEVER be with somebody who believed this fucking horseshit, you deserve better on that alone. Fucking insulting.
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