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[H.Protagonist]

I think the one inviting the other to go on a date should pay, but it's common courtesy (IME anyway) that afterwards the other one usually springs for drinks or some other component of the night, or gets the next date. It's not unusual to go splitsies, especially if it's a 'hey, want to go out for a cup of coffee kind of thing', and it alleviates that nebulous sex/kiss/etc. pressure that others have mentioned, but it feels impersonal somewhat? I'm one of the olds on here, though.

 

[Ryaaan14]

If the guy wants to pay or just pays without even asking I don't complain. But he's certainly not getting plus points for doing so.
I prefer to split, either half or each what they ate if it's there's a huge disparity.

I don't think it makes a difference who invites whom or if it's a first date.
It's not like just because he asked me out I need some compensation for doing so. If I go out with him it's because I want to. And those are not hidden costs I didn't expect that food costs money if I agree to have dinner. If I wouldn't want to pay I would just suggest something else for the date instead of expecting the guy to pay for it.

Game changer.

I said the fair thing to do is to split or whoever invites pays if it's the first date.

Then i said what i would prefer to do.

I don't see a problem with either.

Hey I'm with u

I just acknowledge it might be fucking w progress that's all.

I think the one inviting the other to go on a date should pay, but it's common courtesy (IME anyway) that afterwards the other one usually springs for drinks or some other component of the night, or gets the next date. It's not unusual to go splitsies, especially if it's a 'hey, want to go out for a cup of coffee kind of thing', and it alleviates that nebulous sex/kiss/etc. pressure that others have mentioned, but it feels impersonal somewhat? I'm one of the olds on here, though.

HProt I applaud the guy who would let u pay a dime for a coffee. Imagine the guy willing to risk it all for a few bucks. Jesus.

 

[SpaceCadetKeon]

My boyfriend and I have a system. Usually one of us drives, and the other pays for dinner. Or if it's the movies, one of us gets tickets, and the other gets concessions. He already drives an hour just to come see me, so I don't feel comfortable having him pay for everything.

 

[120v]

fair or not it's the male's "role" to appear he has it together. that a dinner for two won't break the bank. different times and all but that's still the way it is

 

[Android18a]

If they pay the bill, I put out.

But really, it's something that you kind of do on the spur of the moment. No need to make a big deal out of it. For a casual meal with a potential partner there's no harm in splitting the bill to keep it affordable for both parties.

 

[Zaru]

I get the impression that people who expect someone to pay for everything have a "expect everything by default" mentality, as opposed to having a "being happy about the exception" mentality, and I don't need people with the former personality in my life.

 

[Nere]

It is a custom here where I live for the man to pay but I don't care 50-50 for everything.

 

[Ryaaan14]

My boyfriend and I have a system. Usually one of us drives, and the other pays for dinner. Or if it's the movies, one of us gets tickets, and the other gets concessions. He already drives an hour just to come see me, so I don't feel comfortable having him pay for everything.

I feel like this is standard for a dating couple. I think this is more about the first date. I apologize if it wasn't too clear :/

 

[thetrin]

Pay for both, and then bill it as a company expense. Bam!

I'm just kidding. (or am I?)

 

[Ryaaan14]

Pay for both, and then bill it as a company expense. Bam!

I'm just kidding. (or am I?)

Sup Michael Scott

 

[MsKrisp]

I always start to pull out my wallet and offer when the check comes, but guys usually turn me down and pay for all of it. I've split the bill before, and paid for dinner before, or we alternate paying for dinners and drinks. It always seems to work out just fine.

The dating world would be way better if the girl paid her part. That would mean she's definitely interested in you, rather than a free meal.

How hungry are the girls that you are dating lol. "I'm hungry tonight. Let's get on tinder and see who looks like they can afford a meal."

IMO if women want equal pay in the workplace, then they need to be expected to pay for half a date. If you have a problem with paying for part of the date, don't expect equal pay.

I wouldn't pay the whole bill. Never have, never will. If women want equal pay and the ability to vote, they should abolish their archaic expectations too.

lol k

 

[nkarafo]

Game changer.



Hey I'm with u

I just acknowledge it might be fucking w progress that's all.

Sure.

But the thing is, i can't know if the girl i'm dating is progressive or not, especially considering my age group (30+) and the country i live in (Greece). And i'm not sure i will be able to tell from the first date either. So i'd rather make the traditional safe move. It's not like paying the bill is that high on the sexism scale so if she isn't comfortable with that i can simply apologize and let her split the bill.

 

[Dynamite Shikoku]

Don't never pay for nothing

 

[Gattsu25]

harrisonfordwhogivesashit.jpeg

It doesn't bother me.

 

[Clefargle]

I did it a bunch yesterday, no problem whatsoever

She's bought me dinner a bunch of times. Never thought about what it said about our relationship relative to our respective genders

 

[crimsondynamics]

I always offer to foot the bill on the first date, but she foots the next bill, with the obvious implication that there's another date.

 

[Wazzy]

I always start to pull out my wallet and offer when the check comes, but guys usually turn me down and pay for all of it. I've split the bill before, and paid for dinner before, or we alternate paying for dinners and drinks. It always seems to work out just fine.



How hungry are the girls that you are dating lol. "I'm hungry tonight. Let's get on tinder and see who looks like they can afford a meal."

Pretty much the same though at this point I've just decided I'll be more firm and cover my own cost rather than letting them push me into letting them cover the bill.

Also seriously...we do not go out for free meals. There's so much risk already with guys getting defensive if you aren't interested and you know, the fact we can go get our own damn food. Those posters are seriously ridiculous.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Game changer.



Hey I'm with u

I just acknowledge it might be fucking w progress that's all.



HProt I applaud the guy who would let u pay a dime for a coffee. Imagine the guy willing to risk it all for a few bucks. Jesus.

You must not have heard about my 'date' shopping for trash cans with a guy.

 

[NoblesseOblige]

Neogaf.com is a website and thus incapable of forming opinion. My own on the matter though is I don't really care who pays. I will always offer and if someone says they would like to contribute then they are more than welcome.

 

[Dreadnought]

It's often expected and really not the end of the world... women put themselves at risk of physical violence every time they go on a date with some weirdo dude they don't know yet, so IMO the least we can do is buy their coffee on date #1 then talk to them about splitting the bill on future dates if it's a big enough issue.

Is this for real wtf

 

[Transhuman]

HProt I applaud the guy who would let u pay a dime for a coffee. Imagine the guy willing to risk it all for a few bucks. Jesus.

That cuts both ways.

If whether they want to spend more time with you is contingent on giving them a few dollars how much do they actually like you.

 

[Ninja Dom]

Rules on paying on a First Date

You should offer to pay for the meal if you intend on seeing your date again. If it's a male & female dating then it should be the male who makes this offer.

If you don't intend on seeing your date again then pay half.

 

[AllGamer]

Rules on paying on a First Date

You should offer to pay for the meal if you intend on seeing your date again. If it's a male & female dating then it should be the male who makes this offer.

If you don't intend on seeing your date again then pay half.

Sure...

If you pay half and then she doesn't want to see you again, you dodged a bullet.

 

[Moff]

Alternating is the obvious route. Splitting is unpersonal, I don't like it.
I don't mind paying the first time.

 

[Abhor]

Split or take turns paying for meals. Not having any of this outdated nonsense.

 

[Messofanego]

There's only been one time where a girl asked to flat out pay for the whole meal but I was ok with it because she invited me to her city which cost me a fair bit to travel to.

It gets a bit weird if the person starts to judge the other based on a first date if they want to split. It's not always the man or woman being stingy, it could just be a case of gender equality. You both make money but you choose not to foot the entire dinner bill this time. If you expect the man to pay the whole thing every time on a first date and that's what deems the person to be a "gentleman", it brings outdated notions about gender, that a man is the breadwinner and is the one who provides while the woman can't fend for herself and just wants to be treated like a princess every time. Not to mention the ignorance of how many times the man is paying for the whole meal, because usually the man invites the woman out on a date so they can be spending a lot of money over many first dates. Maybe it could lead to more untoward expectations from the douchey man that if he's paying for the whole bill, he feels entitled to something more and maybe you just want to avoid all that drama.

I don't have an issue with paying the whole thing each time. Out of a dozen first dates in the past year I've paid the whole thing 8 out of 12 times and the rest was splitting or the last date that the girl paid for the whole thing as mentioned above. It's just nice to split sometimes.

 

[Jokab]

Once the girl paid for the date. I was honestly stunned and we didn't go on another date.

Spoiler

it wasn't because she paid

But honestly, I always split. If the girl expects me to pay simply because I'm a man, she's not getting another date.

 

[Fliesen]

I side with "if i invited her / him, i'm paying".

Also, this offers a perfect chance to get a feeling on how the date went.
Like, he/she might just offer to be the one paying the next time, which would be a good sign.

Also, in general, i prefer the method of alternating who pays, in many situations.

Pizza's on me, the movie rental is on you, etc.
It allows for a constant level of being on the giving / receiving end of a nice gesture.

 

[MilkyJoe]

I side with "if i invited her / him, i'm paying".

Also, this offers a perfect chance to get a feeling on how the date went.
Like, he/she might just offer to be the one paying the next time, which would be a good sign.

Also, in general, i prefer the method of alternating who pays, in many situations.

Pizza's on me, the movie rental is on you, etc.
It allows for a constant level of being on the giving / receiving end of a nice gesture.

That's how we do it. Cant lose.

 

[entremet]

Those saying the inviter pays are missing the point that men are still generally the inviter in heterosexual dating.

You're not really addressing question meaningfully.

That said, Im fine paying as a dude. No need to tie yourself into a dogmatic knot even if you're for equality.

 

[Rayis]

I find a lot of heterosexual dating rituals off-putting and this is one of them, I also think it punishes low-income men because they have to spend more money to go on dates. But I'm not heterosexual so what do I know.

 

[Greddleok]

When y'all say splitting, do you mean, each pays for what they ordered, or 50:50 each? I prefer the former, I eat a lot and don't need someone paying for my appetite.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

When I was dating if I invited a woman out to dinner, I would foot the bill but hope they offer to split it (whether it's sincere or not), just to gauge how considerate they are. If they didn't at least offer to split or cover it themselves, I would normally just speak to them less and less in the ensuing days until we finally stopped communicating.

A huge pet peeve of mine is having to foot the bill as a man because of a stupid tradition. I largely base my opinion on my date depending on whether she's considerate enough to offer to at least split the bill. I absolutely don't mind covering the bill every time so long as she makes an effort to actually pay as well, because the intention to do so goes a long way for me. However if I don't see effort, I normally lose interest.

 

[Apathy]

Dated a girl who didn't pay for the meal on dates, she said she liked that part to be traditional, but don't get mad GAF, she would pay for anything after a break like movies or a show, where that she wouldn't even let me take out my wallet.

My best friend and his wife when they were still dating would alternate getting the meal (although he got the first one ever).

On dates I go for the bill and I'd like to see her at least try to go for it or offer to go Dutch, but I will insist on paying. Actually got a date with a more straight taking girl and she already told me before the date that she's not going to let me pay the whole bill, that we're going to split it. So that's kinda interesting I guess, got something different to look forward to.

 

[jorma]

Getting laid > being right.

I almost always foot the bill on a first date.

 

[TBiddy]

I don't get what the big deal is. If I want to ask someone out (or rather, take my GF out), I pay the bill if I want to. It's not like it's gonna break my bank, shelling out 20$ for someone elses dinner. And if you are in a financial position where you can't afford to pay 20$ to take someone out, you can either 1) tell them to pay for themselves or 2) go somewhere cheaper.

I find a lot of heterosexual dating rituals off-putting and this is one of them, I also think it punishes low-income men because they have to spend more money to go on dates. But I'm not heterosexual so what do I know.

I'm sorry, but I think this is a bit odd. There's noone forcing you to take anyone anywhere, that you can't afford. If your income is low, take your date somewhere that isn't expensive. It doesn't always have to be a fancy 3-course meal with an accompanying wine-tasting menu.

 

[Always-honest]

I will always offer to pay as a guy. Might be a bit old fashioned but i mostly don't want money to play a real role. I'm fine with splitting the bill or her paying the bill.
But i also like how manly it makes me feel when i pay the bill. it's fucking absurd. But true.

 

[navii]

I offer to pay, if I like her I'll tell her she can pay next time.

 

[Shredderi]

What even happens if you're gay

Is it automatic dutch?

So what happens with two lesbians on a first date?

 

[TheOfficeMut]

I will always offer to pay as a guy. Might be a bit old fashioned but i mostly don't want money to play a real role. I'm fine with splitting the bill or her paying the bill.
But i also like how manly it makes me feel when i pay the bill. it's fucking absurd. But true.

I find it interesting how people have can different takeaways. I don't walk away feeling manly; rather I feel like an idiot. Lol

 

[Patrick S.]

Who is this NeoGAF.com guy? Wasn't that Samuel L. Jackson?

 

[Zombine]

Say that you're going to pay the bill to impress her, but then when it comes in front of you, pull out your empty pockets and shrug.

🤷🏻*♂️

 

[Jacknapes]

First date, i offered to pay but she said she'd like to pay her share. Which i had no problem with. 2nd date, i paid the whole bill. 3rd date, she paid the whole bill.

 

[BossDarkseid]

Depends.

I kinda feel like whoever asks is more supposed to pay the bill. Assuming you're not going out on a date when you could secretly only afford it if you went 50/50, not making a fuss if the other person doesn't offer is probably key : /

 

[Dimefan3]

First date the guy should pay. This is one tradition that shouldn't be broken.

And honestly, if you're worried about it being expensive, pick a budget place - most nowadays are just as flashy as the higher-end places. It's more about getting to know each other than where you're eating.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

What if they offer to pay half for first place? Do you guys say sure, or verbally say you can get next round at next place?

 

[Fliesen]

When y'all say splitting, do you mean, each pays for what they ordered, or 50:50 each? I prefer the former, I eat a lot and don't need someone paying for my appetite.

The former. Splitting it 50:50 would be super arbitrary and rather pointless.

 

[Skellig Gra]

If you want a second date then the guy is going to have to pay. I know tons of women who wouldn't give a guy a second thought if he didn't pay for everything. Its some weird crack in the facade of progressive women's movement.

 

[Hierophant]

im in uni so everyones poor and generally i can get away without paying

 

[Audioboxer]

It's often just guys trying to be nice in the human "puzzle" of courtship. We are animals, and we have evolutionary roots. Look at how much of the animal kingdom practice mating rituals of trying to seduce/impress/wooo. Of course, it's a completely individual decision, and something for you and your date to ultimately handle.

However, some of the modern responses and "hot takes" on something like this will have your eyes roll out the back of your head. If someone offers to treat you every now and then it's not sexism to accept or some slight on your femininity/masculinity. Reciprocation is often expected too, and that's not sexism. It's real life and what humans do, what comes around often goes around in happy relationships. Making your partner smile/laugh/feel happy is a pleasurable thing. Money isn't always the answer for a balanced relationship, but sometimes it is used to elicit a favourable response (we all like presents/being treated/shiny things). Sure, if someone is neurotic enough to have everything always split equal to the last penny, that might be a bit mental to live with, but you do you and ultimately it's between you and a potential partner to see if you're compatible.

Alternatively, if someone never pays for anything it can seem a bit mean, but again, it's up to you to navigate that relationship with your other half. Personally, I find splitting bills a bit "cold". Someone outright paying for one turn, another the next, seems a bit more fluid/natural to me. Ultimately I would just find myself wanting to pay for most bills anyway, but it's just a kindness thing with my personality. Definitely, on a first date, I'm going to attempt to take lead and offer to pay.