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[Draper]

You're on a video game forum asking if you've been rejected by a woman.

I'm gonna say yeah

 

[Earthbound64]

You're in the friend category!
You're in the friend box!
You're in the friend area!
You're in the friend region!
You're in the friend sector!
You're in the friend neighborhood!
You're in the friend realm!
You're in the friend turf!
You're in the friend vicinity!
You're in the friend district!
You're in the friend division!
You're in the friend level!
You're in the friend league!
You're in the friend grouping!
You're in the friend rank!
You're in the friend chapter!
You're in the friend corner!
You're in the friend cubbyhole!
You're in the friend department!
You're in the friend cell!
You're in the friend genus!
You're in the friend faction!
You're in the friend family!

You're in the Friendship Company!

(Where are all the other Sandi Patty fans?!)

 

[highrider]

If it hurts you being around her, ask her out or say goodbye.

If you're okay being her friend, enjoy being her emotional crutch until she finds someone to be with.

Pretty much, but she's been clear she's not attracted to you from the jump. Friendzone is a stupid term/idea. You can be super nice, really handsome, but not every girl you have interest in is going to feel you. Accept it and move on with your life.

 

[Alienous]

I told her that I would be happy for her if she found someone else as a boyfriend, and I'm not lying about it.

.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

In case anyone wanted a recap of WaterAstro's contradictory opinions about this friendship. I bolded the important bits.

WaterAstro is only interested in GAF's advice about asking her out again. After being rejected, WaterAstro believes the connection has grown stronger and he's closer than ever. he thinks she treats him more than a friend, she's getting quite personal since the rejection, he feels. He has said "I love you" to her and they hold hands in a "platonic" way and is thinking of telling her "I don't think we'll ever be in a relationship" to see how she reacts. If the girl gets into a relationship and divulges stuff to him, he'll spend less time with her, which makes crystal clear that WaterAstro isn't there just as a true friend. So it's quite clear that if the girl finally said after 5 million years that she wants to be more than friends with WaterAstro, he'd most likely accept rather than stick to his only-friendship/not-looking-for-a-relationship-right-now mentality that he thinks he has going (only fooling himself).

The whole career thing where WaterAstro thinks he's super important to her to get further in her career is just odd, as if she couldn't make it without him at all.

WaterAstro says he could find a woman like her, no problem, but so far hasn't shown any evidence of this yet. From the information given, there is no indication given that WaterAstro has tried dating other women at all since this infatuation.

Also, Chumley keeps on treating WaterAstro as a damsel in distress that needs saving against the big meanie dogpile.

Hey guys, there's this girl who I'm obsessed with. She's a grown woman, but she doesn't have a best friend from high school, college, work, family, etc., it's me, a guy who she met three months ago at a job fair. My primary hobby during the week is constantly helping this woman to get her career going. I clearly think about her all the time and I'd give my left foot to be in a relationship with her. I fear that my sickeningly spineless behavior - we actually hold hands (not on the street though, that would be impure) and say "I love you" to each other - has frozen me out of ever having a relationship with this woman. I mean, she already said she's not interested, but I think about the possibility of her changing her mind all the time, and I incessantly fantasize that my cringing servitude will convince her to see the light.

Wait, if you all thought I really cared about this, LOL. Damn, what a bunch of rubes y'all are. It's crazy that you think I'm actually into this girl lmao...jokes on you if you misinterpreted my OP that badly smdh...anyway, no time for this, got to go back to helping this girl get her career going bbl

That about sum it up?



Lots of people told him what was up in a constructive way. He became defensive and dismissive and isn't interested in hearing it. I think I understand the spirit of your replies here, because it kind of sucks to see somebody get ripped up. But in this case...man, the kid deserves it. He hasn't shown an ounce of self-reflection here. When you backpedal this hard and act like everybody else is crazy for very correctly understanding your awful and pathetic OP, you're going to be justly roasted. I understand wanting to keep things cool but this isn't the guy/thread to do it with, imo.

Good posts.

 

[bonesmccoy]

amazing OP

 

[Lkr]

Hey guys, there's this girl who I'm obsessed with. She's a grown woman, but she doesn't have a best friend from high school, college, work, family, etc., it's me, a guy who she met three months ago at a job fair. My primary hobby during the week is constantly helping this woman to get her career going. I clearly think about her all the time and I'd give my left foot to be in a relationship with her. I fear that my sickeningly spineless behavior - we actually hold hands (not on the street though, that would be impure) and say "I love you" to each other - has frozen me out of ever having a relationship with this woman. I mean, she already said she's not interested, but I think about the possibility of her changing her mind all the time, and I incessantly fantasize that my cringing servitude will convince her to see the light.

Wait, if you all thought I really cared about this, LOL. Damn, what a bunch of rubes y'all are. It's crazy that you think I'm actually into this girl lmao...jokes on you if you misinterpreted my OP that badly smdh...anyway, no time for this, got to go back to helping this girl get her career going bbl

That about sum it up?



Lots of people told him what was up in a constructive way. He became defensive and dismissive and isn't interested in hearing it. I think I understand the spirit of your replies here, because it kind of sucks to see somebody get ripped up. But in this case...man, the kid deserves it. He hasn't shown an ounce of self-reflection here. When you backpedal this hard and act like everybody else is crazy for very correctly understanding your awful and pathetic OP, you're going to be justly roasted. I understand wanting to keep things cool but this isn't the guy/thread to do it with, imo.

You summed everything up perfectly.
I don't want to speak for everyone, and I don't know how old you are OP, but I feel like everyone has been in your shoes at some point. I know I have. You like a girl, she doesn't have the same feelings for you. The way you describe it in the OP...you're gonna be devastated because you clearly have some heavy feelings for her.

 

[Verano]

The funniest part is while the OP has a breakdown and has to bitterly hold in his resentment for a girl who he thought he'd get to slam because he spent time with her, she gets to do whatever the hell she pleases with her life. Maybe she feels like swiping on Tinder. Maybe she found a dude already. Skies the limit with her life.

Even if OP gets over it, he won't have learned shit. And the same miserable shit will happen, the same embarrassing topic will pop up on GAF, and the same replies will follow.

I used to be more sympathetic but this is literal nice guy shit so enjoy holding that L fam.

Cant be as bad as a 2nd cousin of mine who caught feels for a girl and bought the girl a new car, a dodge charger, hooked her up with a full time job and took her out to nice places only to be told that she found new dick and wanted to stay friends with him lol. Dude was pissed but supposedly he learned his lesson. I doubt it.

 

[Sami+]

Sorry buddy 😢

 

[FinaruDensetsu]

I mean it's OK to just be friends too. Sheesh some people saying just ditch her. It's like the sole reason to have a woman around is for you people to fuck or something.

 

[Kyrios]

I told her that I would be happy for her if she found someone else as a boyfriend, and I'm not lying about it.

Really though, if this is something that's constantly going to be on your mind, definitely bring it up again for that peace of mind, that way if you have to emotionally move on (as in staying JUST friends), it'll be easier to do so.

 

[hatchx]

I don't understand how someone asks someone else to be in a relationship before having intimacy. It seems like it is jumping the gun a real lot. Seems like nowadays it goes from casual dating to intimacy and THEN to a relationship.

I don't know, if you havnt kissed or had sex of any kind with her after, say, the 4th/5th date it's probably never gonna happen.

It might sound devious, but if you want her to like you more than a friend there are ways. Maybe play a little harder to get and stop being so obvious. Start another casual relationship and let her know about it (this is very devious but will show her you can be a good partner and might make her jealous). Put HER in the friend zone. Also, be realistic, is she way better looking than you? Maybe go to the gym, get your hair done, improve your wardrobe and charm? I don't know, it sounds devious, but there ARE ways to turn it around, you just have to make her think you are a catch. Also, put a cucumber in your pants.

 

[StrangeRoboMemory]

I mean it's OK to just be friends too. Sheesh some people saying just ditch her. It's like the sole reason to have a woman around is for you people to fuck or something.

That's the sole reason he wants her around. He doesn't actually want to be friends.

 

[Messofanego]

I mean it's OK to just be friends too. Sheesh some people saying just ditch her. It's like the sole reason to have a woman around is for you people to fuck or something.

He can't be just friends because if she gets into a relationship, he'll start spending less time with her ("I'd tell her to cut out the hand holding and going out with me too much."). That's not what friends do.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

Cant be as bad as a 2nd cousin of mine who caught feels for a girl and bought the girl a new car, a dodge charger, hooked her up with a full time job and took her out to nice places only to be told that she found new dick and wanted to stay friends with him lol.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/boyziimen/sympin.html

 

[Testicular Sound Express]

when you realize the 'friend zone' isn't actually thing and its just an idea people make up in their heads to:

1. Minimize our hurt feelings
2. Place the blame on woman for daring to not be interested

the better off you'll be.

 

[umop_3pisdn]

I mean it's OK to just be friends too. Sheesh some people saying just ditch her. It's like the sole reason to have a woman around is for you people to fuck or something.

If they thought he actually just wanted to be her friend, they wouldn't be saying that. The problem is having mismatched or deluded motives, and if that's the case then carrying on is actually playing into or perpetuating the delusion.

 

[O_Atoll]

OP you need to suddenly remove yourself from her life for a couple months. Then ask her if she will be your girlfriend. If she says no.. Walk away. Seems you are a big part of her life. Remove yourself to find out if she needs you. But come back as a man reborn and not as brother or gay best friend. You need to give it to her straight.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

I've always told women I was interested in exactly how I felt about them when I was single and it was always good, maybe red pill dudes Omit this?

 

[roknin]

If she already turned you down then you're not in the friend zone. You're just friends.

.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

Remove yourself to find out if she needs you.

No healthy relationship is started on a need dynamic.

That's called co-dependency.

 

[IISANDERII]

I met a woman in a career related event, and I started helping her with getting her career going. She already turned me down saying that she doesn't want a relationship until she has her career going, but I'm still helping her and being really good friends.

I might have set myself back by asking her to be in a relationship with me because she wondered, afterwards, why I am still helping her a lot. I told her that I would be happy for her if she found someone else as a boyfriend, and I'm not lying about it. I do feel like I put myself in the friend zone position.

However, we go out together a damn lot, about 3-5 times a week, sometimes to help her, but not strictly about that because she enjoys being with me and talking with me. I'm her best friend, and she's super comfortable with me. We even say "I love you" in a platonic friendship sense, and we even hold hands A LOT when we sit down and chat, but not down the street that would show we're in a relationship. She's super concerned about my feelings and everything that might make me feel depressed too.

Does it sound like I'm forever friend zoned? We've been together for 3 months, and it's only getting stronger, it feels like. I like to dwell on the possibility that she wants to be with me when we get her career going, but I needed to see what others think.

If you can convince her that you don't/won't have romantic feelings for her, you could probably get some sex out of it

 

[blame space]

what is a "healthy relationship"

 

[hatchx]

what is a "healthy relationship"

A relationship with your personal trainer.

 

[jaekeem]

when you realize the 'friend zone' isn't actually thing and its just an idea people make up in their heads to:

1. Minimize our hurt feelings
2. Place the blame on woman for daring to not be interested

the better off you'll be.

wat

how does the term 'friend zone' blame anyone?

it's just a cute way of framing the reality that someone views someone else as just a friend (which they have every right to do)

 

[ryutaro's mama]

what is a "healthy relationship"

If only there was a way to search for that without derailing the thread.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

wat

how does the term 'friend zone' blame anyone?

It implies that if the other person just did their part, they wouldn't be in the friend zone.

 

[umop_3pisdn]

what is a "healthy relationship"

Aristotle said they're neither relationships of pleasure, or relationships of utility, but somewhat disinterested relationships based in common virtue (or mutual self-betterment).

You're not going to get one single and absolute definition but I think his is okay.

 

[jaekeem]

It implies that if the other person just did their part, they wouldn't be in the friend zone.

I never took it that way; interesting

 

[roknin]

I mean it's OK to just be friends too. Sheesh some people saying just ditch her. It's like the sole reason to have a woman around is for you people to fuck or something.

OP and said woman want two different things. He's not really there JUST for the friendship.

 

[TimeEffect]

I don't think OP is coming back, you guys.

I think some of you guys really broke him with the tough love.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Oh my dear, you sound like such a Nice Guy. Tis a shame that this cruel world still doesn't reward your kind with the free pussy you so clearly deserve.

This. Can't fucking stand seeing this manipulative shit going on. You asked her out. She said no. Either move on or accept the friendship for what it is.

Only reason you helping is cause you wanna smash. Stop being a doormat and move on and maybe she'll find you suddenly attractive.

 

[AuthenticM]

Subscribed

I'm reading this thread first thing tomorrow morning.

 

[Crayon]

If you still want to sleep with her, the situation is salvageable.

 

[FromAtoX]

OP, she is not attracted to you, and that's fine. Move on, there are plenty of fish...

 

[Mammoth Jones]

I don't think OP is coming back, you guys.

I think some of you guys really broke him with the tough love.

Glad folks tell him the truth. I learned that shit in middle school. Just "being nice" don't magically make a girl like you lmao. Gotta grow up sometime...

 

[roknin]

Glad folks tell him the truth. I learned that shit in middle school. Just "being nice" don't magically make a girl like you lmao. Gotta grow up sometime...

Truth.

Sadly I didn't learn this til far later in life.

I learned the hard way.

 

[Strangelove77]

what is a "healthy relationship"

Holding hands with your best mate while telling each other you love them.

 

[Sianos]

ask yourself this: why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who explicitly isn't romantically attracted to you

where's the fun in that? don't you want someone who desires you?

nothin personnel, kid. I'm just really cold.

it turns out "that damn fourth chaos emerald" was hidden in "the friend zone" all along

I'm just now realizing that your avatar is Pokemon cards.

it's from the end of a recent Contrapoints video - i think one of the recent ones arguing against "the left hates free speech" accusation - where the Patreon backer credits non-sequitur is a sequence of throwing Pokemon cards down on a carpet and one just so happened to be a Slowpoke

 

[Glass Rebel]

I told her that I would be happy for her if she found someone else as a boyfriend, and I'm not lying about it.

This never works and also you shouldn't have lied.

 

[LionPride]

Biggest fuckin simp fuckin hell

 

[Mammoth Jones]

This never works and also you shouldn't have lied.

Yup. Tell her the truth: You find her very attractive and want to be with her and it'd suck to see someone else getting in dat ass.

 

[urfe]

Fuck one of her friends.

Yeah, no need for hostility or unpleasantness. She'd either be very happy to see two of her friends hook up, or realize she wants to be with you.

Win-win. Fail safe.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Biggest fuckin simp fuckin hell

Dude's gonna be destroyed when some new guy starts at her job and gets with her in two weeks.

Doubly so when she suddenly stop holding hands and saying "I love you".

 

[Grassy]

i think if you pretended to have a date with someone, she'd respond by being like "ayyyyyy my dude, nice, i wanna hear details tomorrow"

because she's your friend and would be genuinely happy that you're going on a hot date

(at least that's how i'd respond, haha)



oh snap

More like she'd say, "Seeing as we spend so much time together, where did you find the time to meet someone else?"

He'll be back, he's just on the phone to her giving her a career advice and seeing as it's Friday night go to the movies and get something to eat. He'll pay of course becuse that's what friends do and seeing as she's not started her career probably not got much money.

Persistence pays off. She'll come around eventually, they always do. They're already best friends, so it's inevitable that once her career gets up and running she'll realise just how much OP has done for her and that he's "the one". No need for tattoo'd bad boys who fuck like stallions, OP is a nice guy who will treat her like a princess and hold her hand and talk to her for hours. He's the perfect gentleman who will do anything she asks, and be there for her in her time of need. What more could a woman ask for?

 

[Jabo]

God fucking damn it I HAAAAAAAAATE the term "friend zone" so much. Why is this still such a thing?

 

[Usobuko]

You need to know just because you're the best friend of a girl doesn't mean she sees you as a guy she's attracted to. Sure, she may confide with you stuff that no ones know or she comes to you when she's troubled but that ultimately do not mean you're being seen as a boyfriend candidate.

You're nothing but a good emotional support pillar, anything further is you being wishful. If she wants to date you in future, she would have already let you known.

TLR, Yes you're in a friendzone period. Cut yourself loose because it's clear you can't stand being in that zone.

 

[FallingEdge]

God fucking damn it I HAAAAAAAAATE the term "friend zone" so much. Why is this still such a thing?

because it is the easiest way to describe the situation in which one party has romantic feelings for the other and they don't feel the same way and is something that a majority of us has experienced

 

[ramparter]

When all of this is over you will hate her, though it wont be her fault.

 

[hatchx]

God fucking damn it I HAAAAAAAAATE the term "friend zone" so much. Why is this still such a thing?

Because it's a real thing.


SCENARIO 1
Person A considers Person B a friend. Person B wants to be more than friends. Person A does not know this.

SCENARIO 2
Person A considers Person B a friend. Person B wants to be more than friends. Person A knows this, and continues the friendship anyways.