No, they don't at all.
What I want is a "How to". Developer documentation explaining the process.
If I want to make a UWA right now, and distribute it via a webpage to the public in a manner that does not involve powershell security warnings or 'sideloading', how do I do that?
As far as I can tell, there is no way of doing that currently.
So can we please have a moratorium on just casually saying "third parties can totally distribute UWAs easily without going through the Windows Store" because there is literally zero information on how to do this available.
You clearly haven't bothered to watch either video. Why bother even replying to me before you have? You want official documentation? Wait a few months until the summer update which is when they'll likely update the MSDN documentation. As for the bolded, no, of course there isn't. Who said otherwise? All I've ever said is that it's possible with a few tricks. At Build MS said they'll be enabling that functionality in the summer update, they then showed it working and then went into great detail of how it all works in the sessions afterwards. What more do you want at this point? If you're not going to watch the session videos then all you can do is wait until the summer.
Yeah, let's say I fire up Visual Studio right now and write a simple hello world app with a small GUI. How do I turn that into a UWA that I can distribute freely by sending it to friends without going through the store?
Well if you absolutely must do it right now, then just do what I did here and here
You understandably don't want to do that? Fine, wait for the summer update.