I think it is a misreading to suggest Christakis was telling students to not be offended. It was a disagreement about how to respond to offensive behavior and also gave examples that would potentially be in a gray area
I absolutely agree; I don't think it was her intent was at all to suggest that students shouldn't be offended. (To the contrary, she was saying that perhaps they ought to allow themselves to be offended more often.)
I think it's as you said, that she wanted to invite students to consider that safe spaces should allow others to express themselves, even in ways that some may consider offensive, as long as they don't violate anyone's rights.
But I am not surprised that people are responding to the email as though the intent was to say "you should just let them do it, you shouldn't be offended."
It's kind of like the anti-Trump-on-SNL protests. Okay, so Trump gets on stage and makes an ass of himself. So thousands of racist white people totally agree with him. So what? Those are attitudes that really are out there, and we can't criticize them if we try to stuff them in a closet.
What would really be tragic is if Trump were given a podium to speak and spouted all kinds of racist nonsense
and the rational response to his nonsense were completely suppressed.
I think the issue here isn't that those sorts of places shouldn't exist - they should (except for the threat-making part) - places like private domiciles, for example. But people shouldn't be able to force public spaces, or spaces involving the greater student body, into becoming those sorts of places.
I guess the real question is "are Yale students actually forcing 'safe spaces' into public spaces?" I don't think anything about the behaviors these students are exhibiting is compatible with the idea of a safe space in the first place. And so I'm not sure we can look at this scenario and say "the problem is that the greater university space, as a public space, should not be a 'safe space.'"
On a deeper level, one could say the question is "what makes a safe space?"
- Some (certainly not all) of the students involved seem to believe that a "safe space" is one where they decide what is acceptable and reject behaviors and views that disagree with that standard.
- Others believe it's one where there are clear expectations that people be allowed to express themselves, either their identities or their viewpoints, and be free from violence, harassment, hate speech, and other forms of persecution.
I think most people understand the latter as what a safe space actually means, and what universities are actually responsible for ensuring for their students.
But I think we're also seeing a rising number of cases where the creation of 'safe spaces' is actually playing out more like the former in practice.
That may be the case but that's inherent to people not to safe spaces. The original question that spurned this conversation asked what's wrong with having safe spaces, so far no one who answered seemed to have argue against having them entirely rather they seemed against the way this young lady and people like her potentially wields them.
You're right, of course, but it's ultimately people who decide how "safe spaces" actually manifest in practice.