Support NeoGAF

[thezerofire]

And after the screen fades to black, at the end of the movie, words fade in that say "There are people who actually believe this"

 

[gutter_trash]

 

[The Technomancer]

I guess it makes sense that Young Earther's believe in that, but on some mental level I guess I didn't think they took things that far.

 

[CrocMother]

Some believe that the fossils were planted by God to test our faith. Not kidding.

Those people were planted here to test our faith. -Bill Hicks

 

[SquiddyCracker]

Jurassic Ark.

Okay, that has to be the title.

And after the screen fades to black, at the end of the movie, words fade in that say "There are people who actually believe this"

Nah, have it say "Based on a true story".

 

[dabig2]

Wait people seriously believe in Noah's Ark? I'm pretty sure my Sunday school teachers explicitly told us that it was allegorical or something when I was like...eight.
I guess it makes sense that Young Earther's believe in that, but on some mental level I guess I didn't think they took things that far.

Hah, at my fundie school, every year we were told that "this might be the year that we finally uncover Noah's arc on Mt Aratat". God, we watched documentaries about that shit constantly.

 

[Wilbur]

I don't meant to sound like a dick, but maybe because they are dinosaurs. I donno about you, but I would not want to be in a closed ark with a T-Rex.

God you are a dick. What did a T-Rex ever do to you?

 

[NaturalHigh]

Hah, at my fundie school, every year we were told that "this might be the year that we finally uncover Noah's arc on Mt Aratat". God, we watched documentaries about that shit constantly.

OH YEAH WE FOUND A PIECE OF WOOD ON A MOUNTAIN.

GOD IS REAL. GOD IS REAL.

 

[Fuu]

 

[SilentProtagonist]

Holy shit, this could be the Battleship prequel!!

 

[Dude Abides]

I don't meant to sound like a dick, but maybe because they are dinosaurs. I donno about you, but I would not want to be in a closed ark with a T-Rex.

dyna-soar
Junior Member

What is this self-loathing bullshit?

 

[Paches]

This reminds me of Jon Stewart's Glenn Beck impersonations.

 

[we.are.the.armada]

Aweso... oh shit, wait, don't let Ridley Scott see this.

 

[ViewtifulJC]

Wait people seriously believe in Noah's Ark? I'm pretty sure my Sunday school teachers explicitly told us that it was allegorical or something when I was like...eight.

My mom is Black-Christian-Woman stereotype to the max, and even she told me half the shit in the bible is metaphorical stuff.

 

[TheBaldEmperor]

This is unreal. Hahaha! I know a lot of 7th Day Adventists and as far as I know none of them think this. I'm so thrilled that this book exists. I feel that I need to own a copy now.

 

[IsntChrisL]

I agree, title this thing Jurrasic Ark and make it into a movie, Hollywood. Pay the author handsome royalties because he is clearly a genius.

 

[Attackthebase]

This made my day awesome before it actually begun.

 

[docbon]

little foot would never do such a thing

 

[Riggs]

Really the perfect gif!

 

[midonnay]

Reminds me of the Crusader Comics by Jack Chick

Also full of batshit insane conspiracy theories and pseudoscience.

 

[bengraven]

You don't have to find it, it's right here.

Maybe I should just say $5 and find the part in one of our bibles where it details all this.

Edit: Having problems finding it. Does someone have the verses? I've looked over the Noah chapter over and over again. Maybe it's a flashback later on in the story?

Reminds me of the Crusader Comics by Jack Chick

Also full of batshit insane conspiracy theories and pseudoscience.

I fucking love Chick tracts. Not only was the art really good most of the time, but the pure hatred for anyone who wasn't an evangelical Christian was something straight out of a Sasha Baren Cohen skit.

 

[adamsappel]

There are people devoting their lives to finding the remains of Noah's Ark.

One of the first movies I recall seeing in the theater was In Search of Noah's Ark.

I agree, title this thing Jurrasic Ark and make it into a movie, Hollywood. Pay the author handsome royalties because he is clearly a genius.

Why would you have to pay the author royalties? This is all just scientific FACT!

I fucking love Chick tracts. Not only was the art really good most of the time, but the pure hatred for anyone who wasn't an evangelical Christian was something straight out of a Sasha Baren Cohen skit.

When I was a kid, I loved going around on Sundays and picking up all the Chick comics that littered the ground.

 

[Forkball]

Seven is a number that often appears in the bible.
Here is seven in Chinese:

Kind of looks like a CROSS doesn't it.

THE CHINESE KNEW ABOUT JESUS' CRUCIFIXION THOUSANDS OF YEARS BEFORE IT HAPPENED FOR MORE INFO E-MAIL ME AT TRUECHRISTIANHISTORY@AOL.COM

 

[Neoriceisgood]

Someone should make a kickstarter to get this movie made.

 

[sonicfan]

One thing (obviously not the only thing) that gets me about young earth theories is what about the vastness of space? If the speed of light is constant, and the universe is 6,000 years old, how can we see things that are more than 6,000 light years away? Or is the argument that God just created all the stars and galaxies way off in space all at the exact same instant in various forms of development, and also created the light that travels to earth to just "make it appear" that these objects are as far away as they seem to us today....or maybe the speed of light is not constant, or maybe dinosaurs DID battle Noah....I'm so confused now....this book is so convincing.....

 

[Head of Vengarl]

This is easily the best OT thread I've seen all month.

The one Amazon review for the book:

I found this book in a school library. Comedy gold down to 15 foot human beings and cave men being punished by God with devolution due to their sins. It would be hard to come up with more wacky theories than are found in every page of this book.

 

[bengraven]

When I was a kid, I loved going around on Sundays and picking up all the Chick comics that littered the ground.

Our local laundry mat always had about 6 different tracks on their bulletin board. I started collecting them because they would change every couple weeks.

I tried doing it these days, but they're hard to find. I'll very rarely find one in a restaurant bathroom.

 

[ElectricBlue187]

Holy shit this is awesome. Also, a verifiable scientific FACT! Take that, science!

I like how its both "we proved this shit with science" and "fuck science" all at once

 

[Fenderputty]

I'm still waiting for the first young earther to come in here to defend. We have an incest defense force ... we gotta have one for this book.

 

[WeAreStarStuff]

PERFECT.

 

[Mgoblue201]

What I find funny is that this is the book they chose to show you, instead of Darwin's Black Box or Signature of the Cell, which at the very least atheists would not use as a source of humor.

The author proposes that Noah's Ark was most likely attacked by the dinosaurs (in their final dying moments) in the early moments of the Great Flood, It gets better. He also believes that not only did they attack Noah's immense vessel, but they did so because fallen angels, bitterly angry at God, were driving them to attack the Ark in an attempt to end humanity forever!!! And the only reason the Ark survived the dinosaur and fallen angel onslaught was because the devout angels still faithful to God fought them off in an epic battle!

That's fantastically AWESOME. I'd seriously LOVE for someone to make a Hollywood movie out of this. The movie could start out with Noah (played by Chris Hemsworth) building his ark and the rest of the community making fun of him. Then the mid act would be Noah collecting all of the pairs of animals from all over the world and herding them back to the Ark. And the last act would be the start of the Great Flood, with Noah setting sail and rebuking the frantic rest of humanity as they beg and plead with him to take them along, of course followed by the epic Angel and dinosaur battle as the movie's Grand Climax.


Fuck, I'd pay to see that movie!!!!!

Is it too late to include this sequence in the Aronofsky Noah movie? I really hope that he's using this book as a source of inspiration.

 

[massoluk]

True Story:

While I was a student at 7th Day Adventist international school in Thailand, a bunch of American volunteers (and their preacher) came to the school. We gathered in auditorium (school weekly activities period), and they gave all of us ziploc bags with Lego blocks in it, told us to shake and shake and shake.

The preacher concluded at the end to the tune of "See? Evolution is bull shit? No creation as complex as human happened by chance, just like these Lego can't become some figures." Then the preacher lead a prayer about "Thank you, lord for showing us that we're not created by chance, blah, blah, blah, Amen."

Mind you. We have Bible classes, we have science teacher that skipped evolution chapter in the text book, but that event takes the cake.

PS: 7th Day Adventists are some of the most kind hearted and humane people I've ever met, and a lot of them do believe in Evolution, including my science teacher.

 

[Mononofu]

Creationist why you so crazy?

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

Sounds like a JRPG.

 

[chaostrophy]

Come on, Mel Gibson is the obvious choice to direct.

 

[Mengy]

Does the fight take place before or during the flood according to the author?

The illustrations show it taking place during the beginning of the flood. The epic dinosaur / angel battle rages on in the monsoon rains and violent thunderous lightning!!!

 

[thehypocrite]

Shut up and take my money. Do it Hollywood!!!

 

[The Technomancer]

True Story:

While I was a student at 7th Day Adventist international school in Thailand, a bunch of American volunteers (and their preacher) came to the school. We gathered in auditorium (school weekly activities period), and they gave all of us ziploc bags with Lego blocks in it, told us to shake and shake and shake.

This is hilarious.

 

[Hitokage]

This is hilarious.

In one of the before-school meetings for the Mormon Church I had, the lady teaching it tried to demonstrate the silliness of the big bang by clapping her hands together (they might have had clay or something, I forget) and yelling "BANG!"

 

[Kinyou]

Creationist why you so crazy?

 

[Baron Doggystyle von Woof]

If dinosaurs died during the flood, how could Jesus ride one in all the pictures?

You'd think these creationists would be consistent atleast...

Only logical answer: Time travel.

 

[youta]

Fuck, I'd pray to see that movie!!!!!

Fixed.

 

[Platy]

I would totaly watch this movie.

and then go to neogaf to say how bad it was =P

There are people devoting their lives to finding the remains of Noah's Ark.

Without those dude we would not have Okami and Spriggan ... so I don't have problems wih their existence xD

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

I guess it makes sense that Young Earther's believe in that, but on some mental level I guess I didn't think they took things that far.

Fuck logic, I want to believe in this!

 

[Lucky Forward]

Wait people seriously believe in Noah's Ark? I'm pretty sure my Sunday school teachers explicitly told us that it was allegorical or something when I was like...eight.

In the New Testament, Jesus believed in it:

As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away.

A lot of fundamentalists believe this confirms the story of Noah, because if Jesus believed in it, it must be true.

 

[RiccochetJ]

Wait, so the Aunt thought that this would convince you?

It does look like a pretty badass book though. The dinosaurs charging the Ark is epic.

 

[ThaneKrios]

Jurrasic Park 4

Jurassic Ark.

 

[the_log_ride]

I need this book. I need it in my life. Those pics are too compelling; I must read this book and then see it brought to life on the big screen.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

I already know what the first shitty sequel (you just can't live up to the original's premise) is going to be about:
Dragons (which really are just dinosaurs, but more evil)

 

[RukusProvider]

Science is so boring by comparison. This shit is way more fun to believe!

I hope the book sells well. There need to be sequels. Khalessi isn't the only bitch with Dragons, I have a feeling....