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Am I in the forever friend zone?

R

rtcn63

Member
What if we form a group of say, I dunno, thieves of a sort, and somehow "liberate"- as in convince- OP to be honest with himself and the predicament at hand?
 
I

Ishan

Junior Member
WaterAstro said:
I met a woman in a career related event, and I started helping her with getting her career going. She already turned me down saying that she doesn't want a relationship until she has her career going, but I'm still helping her and being really good friends.

I might have set myself back by asking her to be in a relationship with me because she wondered, afterwards, why I am still helping her a lot. I told her that I would be happy for her if she found someone else as a boyfriend, and I'm not lying about it. I do feel like I put myself in the friend zone position.

However, we go out together a damn lot, about 3-5 times a week, sometimes to help her, but not strictly about that because she enjoys being with me and talking with me. I'm her best friend, and she's super comfortable with me. We even say "I love you" in a platonic friendship sense, and we even hold hands A LOT when we sit down and chat, but not down the street that would show we're in a relationship. She's super concerned about my feelings and everything that might make me feel depressed too.

Does it sound like I'm forever friend zoned? We've been together for 3 months, and it's only getting stronger, it feels like. I like to dwell on the possibility that she wants to be with me when we get her career going, but I needed to see what others think.
Click to expand...

Yes, completely friendzoned. Only way i've seen this situation swing the other way is if you lose touch with the person and meet again years later. That sometimes works as a reset. Dunno maybe those pickup artists types or players know how to work the situation I never knew or actually even saw it shift back without a break.
 
C

Crossing Eden

Hello, my name is Yves Guillemot, Vivendi S.A.'s Employee of the Month!
CannonFodder52 said:
Look if anyone wants to slither into the dms, I have tons of anime art that I can trade for pics.

Do not dm me
Click to expand...
Hey bb how u doin? ;)
3lVE6zi.gif
 
C

Clefargle

Member
I feel like this shouldn't have to be said but here we go:

It's not anyone's fault that someone doesn't want to sleep with anyone else.

It isn't her fault for not getting how great of a guy you are

It isn't your fault for not being "a better you" or putting on the right "moves"

It isn't wrong to not be attracted to someone and it isn't wrong to deny a friend sex because you want to stay friends

At reason for not having sex is a valid one, if you don't want a sexless friendship, don't hang out with that person

No human owes another person sex, no matter gender/sex/orientation. You could literally fit her dream boy profile to a T and she isn't obligated to sleep with you.
 
Roronoa Zoro

Roronoa Zoro

Gold Member
Kyoufu said:
You say "I love you" to each other?
Click to expand...

I've been friend zoned by a couple women who say this and almost act relationshipy with snuggling on the couch and saying very affectionate things. Yet it every time a date is proposed it's "no don't make it awkward."

Women are weird and before I left my rural town I thought that kind of behavior would be considered romantic because there you had to avoid so much as touching a girl or their boyfriend would start getting paranoid even if she was initiating the more close stuff
 
G

Grassy

Member
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...

lindsay-lohan-spits-og7s8x.gif
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Lemongrab said:
I've been friend zoned by a couple women who say this and almost act relationshipy with snuggling on the couch and saying very affectionate things. Yet it every time a date is proposed it's "no don't make it awkward."
Click to expand...

That's next level friend zoned, the Cuddle Bitch. Which is the level the OP has reached and thinks it's progress. It's not she feels safe doing that becuse your gentitals might as well be as anatomically accurate as a GI Joe/Action Man doll.
 
S

spazchicken

Member
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...
lol What does she need so much help with?
 
O

outunderthestars

Banned
H.Protagonist said:
I...find this really hard to believe, and I was the first person to say I believed Ashodin would succeed in his love quest. You went from no relationship and her turning you down to talking about how she's not confident she could be an equal contributor when you live together? Who goes from zero to married like that? Besides Ashodin, I mean. It just reads like some weird internal fantasy where you're some kind of pedestal-ed, paternal figure that she says she's not worthy of. Sorry if I'm doing you wrong, OP, but it just all reads false.
Click to expand...


This was my read on his posts as well. His follow up reads like a fantasy concocted to save some degree of pride after the thread backfire.
 
O

OpinionatedCyborg

Member
Earthbound64 said:
"friendzoned(FZ)"

Why is there a need for an acronym for this?
Click to expand...

Because PUAs (pick up artists) model interactions with the opposite sex with RPG-like rules:

used anecodate #12 for +12 charisma bonus

negged HB8 (hot bitch 8/10 attractiveness) to decrease her confidence by 5

dropped rohypnol in her drink to lower her intelligence by 7

used "remote car starter" spell to get the car running

she gets a saving throw -- wakes up.

FZ and possible jail time for me.

fucking bitches.
 
P

PsychBat!

Banned
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...
JzHmzV7.gif
 
V

Vibed

Member
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...
You are purposefully ignorant to what people were saying. Please, try not to seem so arrogant.

Good for you on securing that relationship. Genuinely, I don't think anyone thinks that was wrong to do. It's how you went about it before this moment and your mindset about it that was the problem. You were being flip floppy.

These last few pages have been great though. I like this thread.
 
Y

Yoshimitsu126

Member
I really do hope the best for the OP though. I've had my fair share of embarrassing actions and I'm still not any closer figuring out what I want but I hope the OP does.
 
L

lightskintwin

Banned
A person can be initially attracted to you and interested in pursuing it further and still put you in the "friend zone".

Matter of fact, you can go on a date and get "friend zoned" afterwards. I've seen this happen a lot.
 
Mediking

Mediking

Member
lightskintwin said:
A person can be initially attracted to you and interested in pursuing it further and still put you in the "friend zone".

Matter of fact, you can go on a date and get "friend zoned" afterwards. I've seen this happen a lot.
Click to expand...

Oh, that's VERY true....

I remember a time where I got friendzoned because I was so oblivious to the fact that a woman liked me.

But I didn't think she liked me cuz she was married....
 
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