Back when I was on the grounds crew at the Johnson Space Center, a goose got into a building that was under construction and decided to set up shop, causing the construction workers an insane amount of hell whenever they would try to work. Because I have a background in wild animal removal, the task fell to me to corral the fucking thing.
This building had no glass windows at the time, and the openings where the windows would go faced out into the buildings parking lot. This will come into play.
So me and my co-workers, Ernie, have to go in and find this thing. It's nestled in the rafters and hisses immediately when we approach. Ernie immediately takes leave of the building. It was winter at the time, so I was lucky that I had a big jacket on. I managed to whack the fucker down out of the rafter and it started to charge me. Luckily I had anticipated this and had removed my jacket, so when it got close enough I grew the jacket over its head and back and jumped on the bastard, eventually getting a grip on it with both arms, essentially a bear hug, and took it to the open windows and threw it out, holding on to my jacket so it would pop out and hopefully fly away.
Unfortunately for the woman walking through the parking lot below the building, instead of flying away, it focused on her and like a fucking laser beam flew down and went to God damned town on her. I've never seen anything like it. She managed to run into a nearby building and escape it after a very long 30 seconds or so, but I would assume her day was pretty much ruined before it really even started.
The only other time I've dealt with one was when my dad had a chicken coop, and he would keep a goose, Gertrude, in there to break up fights and watch over the chickens in case of coyotes. One time I as visiting and heard a hell of a racket, and when I went outside this coyote came barreling around the corner of the house with Gertrude on its back just kicking the shit out of it. That coyote ran into the brush like its ass was on fire, Gertrude just wailing on him the whole way. A few minutes later she comes back through the yard, honking all the way, and went right back to the chicken coop to immediately break up a chicken fight that had erupted in her absence.
Gertrude was cool as fuck.
