'Cos nobody would fuck with America Goose.If it's only in Canada for the summer and is in the US year round... why is it called the Canada Goose.
'Cos nobody would fuck with America Goose.If it's only in Canada for the summer and is in the US year round... why is it called the Canada Goose.
Yo, this entire post is greatBack when I was on the grounds crew at the Johnson Space Center, a goose got into a building that was under construction and decided to set up shop, causing the construction workers an insane amount of hell whenever they would try to work. Because I have a background in wild animal removal, the task fell to me to corral the fucking thing.
This building had no glass windows at the time, and the openings where the windows would go faced out into the buildings parking lot. This will come into play.
So me and my co-workers, Ernie, have to go in and find this thing. It's nestled in the rafters and hisses immediately when we approach. Ernie immediately takes leave of the building. It was winter at the time, so I was lucky that I had a big jacket on. I managed to whack the fucker down out of the rafter and it started to charge me. Luckily I had anticipated this and had removed my jacket, so when it got close enough I grew the jacket over its head and back and jumped on the bastard, eventually getting a grip on it with both arms, essentially a bear hug, and took it to the open windows and threw it out, holding on to my jacket so it would pop out and hopefully fly away.
Unfortunately for the woman walking through the parking lot below the building, instead of flying away, it focused on her and like a fucking laser beam flew down and went to God damned town on her. I've never seen anything like it. She managed to run into a nearby building and escape it after a very long 30 seconds or so, but I would assume her day was pretty much ruined before it really even started.
The only other time I've dealt with one was when my dad had a chicken coop, and he would keep a goose, Gertrude, in there to break up fights and watch over the chickens in case of coyotes. One time I as visiting and heard a hell of a racket, and when I went outside this coyote came barreling around the corner of the house with Gertrude on its back just kicking the shit out of it. That coyote ran into the brush like its ass was on fire, Gertrude just wailing on him the whole way. A few minutes later she comes back through the yard, honking all the way, and went right back to the chicken coop to immediately break up a chicken fight that had erupted in her absence.
Gertrude was cool as fuck.
If a goose attacked me i would definitely not fight back, cause i love animals.
Just dont tell me a goose can kick my butt, cause it cant.
I know. It's tag worthy!Yo, this entire post is great
So my take away from this is that a veteran cop with 26 years of experience was afraid of being attacked by a fucking goose.
Back when I was on the grounds crew at the Johnson Space Center, a goose got into a building that was under construction and decided to set up shop, causing the construction workers an insane amount of hell whenever they would try to work. Because I have a background in wild animal removal, the task fell to me to corral the fucking thing.
This building had no glass windows at the time, and the openings where the windows would go faced out into the buildings parking lot. This will come into play.
So me and my co-workers, Ernie, have to go in and find this thing. It's nestled in the rafters and hisses immediately when we approach. Ernie immediately takes leave of the building. It was winter at the time, so I was lucky that I had a big jacket on. I managed to whack the fucker down out of the rafter and it started to charge me. Luckily I had anticipated this and had removed my jacket, so when it got close enough I grew the jacket over its head and back and jumped on the bastard, eventually getting a grip on it with both arms, essentially a bear hug, and took it to the open windows and threw it out, holding on to my jacket so it would pop out and hopefully fly away.
Unfortunately for the woman walking through the parking lot below the building, instead of flying away, it focused on her and like a fucking laser beam flew down and went to God damned town on her. I've never seen anything like it. She managed to run into a nearby building and escape it after a very long 30 seconds or so, but I would assume her day was pretty much ruined before it really even started.
The reason why no one wants to fight a goose is because they don't let you win with half measures. You fight a goose for a second and you realize that you won't win until the goose is dead. You guys ready to throw down with a goose to the death? Motherfucker I'll just cross the street, or exit from the back, I ain't about to get covered in goose blood today
If a goose attacked me i would definitely not fight back, cause i love animals.
Just dont tell me a goose can kick my butt, cause it cant.
Have you ever fought a goose?
I made this sign at work a few months ago. This idiot decided to lay its eggs right by the main entrance to our building and would attack you if you got within 15 feet of it.
Next step they see our fear and suggest our complete annihilation.
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
Yeah, I know. I said that in my post. Thanks though
Hahah I knew someone would take this angle. "Randomly" hurting another animal? Really, that's what you call it? So, if im taking a stroll and some animal (i dont care what the fuck it is) starts to relentlessly attack my legs and ass, I'm just supposed to stand there/run and say "NAH IT'S OK IT'S JUST NATURE BREH, IM SUPPOSED TO LET IT KICK MY ASS!"
No way. I'm giving that thing a good fuckin' boot to teach it a lesson. Don't attack random people you idiot.
Kick it with the other one. Defend yourself fool
The reason why no one wants to fight a goose is because they don't let you win with half measures. You fight a goose for a second and you realize that you won't win until the goose is dead. You guys ready to throw down with a goose to the death? Motherfucker I'll just cross the street, or exit from the back, I ain't about to get covered in goose blood today
Most birds fly away when you drive close to them. Geese don't care, they just keep walking lol.
This one goose walked out into the street and I was going too fast to stop in time. I tried to slow down but it flew up and smacked right into the windshield.
Geese may be mean but they aren't always smart.
Are we posting goose attack videos because this shit is hilarious:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlEfjWxmll0
Don't know if this one has been posted, but it's one of my favorites. The sound effects make it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cV4FCwtTEo
I've been laughing/crying for two minutes..this is quite possibly the most ridiculous picture I've ever seen. Holy shit I can't breathe!
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
If it's only in Canada for the summer and is in the US year round... why is it called the Canada Goose.
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
this thread is giving me the strange urge to go out and find a goose to fight
Don't know if this one has been posted, but it's one of my favorites. The sound effects make it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cV4FCwtTEo
this thread is giving me the strange urge to go out and find a goose to fight
If you survive, don't forget to make a thread about how it kicked your ass. Godspeed, my friend.
don't forget to make a thread
make a thread
You've repeatedly boasted that you'd kick a goose's ass
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT